Thursday, December 25, 2003

hey.. is my mail soon as i have time..i'll make a link.

Ann Garrison..Is a really nice American lady..Who sent me a mail telling me that herself and her husband(who served in the war) respect our rights in freedom and dignity..And that they both really want to help us..And that they pray for us to build our own civilian proud country.
she is really sincere..I could easily c it through her words.
well..Here I have to say something..Speaking for myself,,I have nothing personal against the soldiers here..And ofcource not against the civilian American in their country..And I have no dout that most them really wanted to help and to do something good for this country.and for Iraqi people. But what I want to say is that some people with suits and large desks in the white house and other places..Are NOT that nice and sincere,,and..
we have a say : believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear...And believe me..The man who made this say..Never saw the media of these days..Cause if he did..He would have said " believe nothing at all..And kill journalists"
guys..Let me say this:
what if somehow..Lets say Russia occupied your country (which "happens" to be a really rich country with oil and other resources) and actually destroyed the whole country..Killed civilians..Used cluster bombs..Chemical weapons(believe it or not..I have the pictures of the dead bodies)..Destroyed houses..Caused the looting of the whole governmental system..The ministries..All the police stations and fire departments..Airports..Whatever you think..And after that..They make a new TV and newspaper and radio station and start telling you how happy you should be and how grateful you must be for them for liberating you..And a while after..They put the pictures of your country president (doenst matter if you hate him or not) on TV with people playing with his face....Now take a moment..Close your eyes..Look through the window..And imagine that everything you c is destroyed..Every place you love is either bombed or looted..Everyone you love is probably dead or injured..And add to that a vey cold weather..No electricity..No petrol..Now open your eyes and tell me...Does it really matte if the soldiers or their families are kind people?

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

hey..just wana say two things.thw first one is that other people do not have mobile phones at all..most of people if not all of them have never see it in their lives.
the other thing is:
the issue of the day is:: what would YOU FEEL when you c the president of your country,, even if you hate him..being caught by a "super power"/"the devil himself" and shown on tv with people playing with his nose or something.
thank you.

الثلاثاء 23/12/003
الجو بارد وممطر. المطر نعمة جميلة من رب العالمين. عندما كنت صغيرة لم أكن أحب المطر كنت أرى انه يتلف ترتيب شعري فأشعر بالضجر والاحباط ! أما الان فقد صرت أرى ان له معاني اخرى,يسقي الارض ويبشر بالخير ويغسل الشوارع والاشجار ويا ليته يقدر أن يغسل الشر من قلوب الناس على الكرة الارضية!
في أيام الحرب عرض التلفزيون العراقي صورا للاسرى الامريكيين وكان
الكثير منا يرى ان هذا تصرف غير لائق وغير انساني .فشكلهم محزن وهم يرتعشون من الخوف بعيدا عن وطنهم وأهلهم وجيشهم وحكومتهم !
هم هكذا .....مخلوقات ضعيفة بدون (امبراطورية اميركا).
وكنت أخاف أن أقول رأيي علانية ,ربما سيتهموني انني عميلة عتيدة للسي آي أيه .واليوم أتألم للصور المذلة التي تنشرها الصحف لصدام حسين وأخاف أن أعلن الامر ,سيقولون انها عميلة عتيدة عتيدة لصدام حسين.
وأفكر دائما من ذا الذي يصوغ الاخلاق العامة التي يتداولها الناس ؟
خاصة في الحروب والازمات .لماذا تطفو على السطح أخلاق الطبقة السفلى من المجتمع ,لا أقصد طبقة فقراء أو ما شابه ,انما فئة ذات أخلاق
واطئة . يعني بلا عواطف بلا رحمة ,وهذا شيء مخجل ومحزن .....
الاحوال العامة هنا محبطة. لا مشاريع جديدة تأخذ أيدي عاملة ولا حركة اعمار واضحة تشجع الناس على المشاركة وتعطيهم أمل بعد كل الالام التي صادفوها في الحرب أوقبلها أو بعدها .الموضوع الوحيد الان هو مطاردات لا تنتهي لأعداء لا أدري هم وهميين أم حقيقيين والناس تنتظر نهاية هذه المسرحية الطويلة المملة!
وطبعا لاكمال السعاده فلا كهرباء بفترات كافية ولا بنزين ولا غاز ولا مشتقات أخرى للبترول. والسؤال البريء يطرح نفسه نحن بلد البترول فأين ذهب المنتوج؟ وطبعا تقرأ وتسمع تعليقات المسؤولين وكلها غير مقنعة, ولكن الناس سئمت ولم يتغير الحال عليهم فما زالوا يقفون في طوابير والأشياء حسرة عليهم والغد الجميل الموعود ما زال بعيدا......


It is cold and rainy. Rain is a beautiful gift from the Lord. But when I was little I used to hate rain, it would mess up my hair and I would feel angry and frustrated. But now I see it has many other meanings; it irrigates the land, it tells people of good things coming to them, washes the roads and trees and how I wish it would wash away the evil from people’s hearts on this earth.
during the war Iraqi TV showed pictures the American POWs and many of us saw in this a very inappropriate and inhumane act, they looked sad shaking in fear so far away from their country and families and army and government.
That’s how people are. Weak creatures if you took away their “American empire” .
I was afraid to voice this opinion loudly, maybe they might have accused me of being a CIA agent because of my sympathy. And today I hurt because of the humiliating pictures the papers show of saddam, and I am also afraid to voice my opinion loudly for fear people might accuse me of being a Saddamist.

Especially in wars and crisis, why is it that the morals of the lower parts of society that rise to the surface, I don’t mean the poor but I mean those with lowly morals.
I mean, so without compassion or feeling it is sad and shameful….

The general situation here is frustrating. No new projects giving work to the jobless, nor a visible reconstruction movement encouraging people to contribute and giving them hopeafter all the pain and sorrow they have seen during and after the war. The only issue we hear about is the constant running after enemies, fictitious and real, and people await the end of this long boring play.
And to make us even happier there is no electricity, no gasoline, no cooking gas nor any sort of Oil product. An innocent question presents itself, we are an oil rich country so where is the Oil? Of course you read and hear all sorts of official statements all of them are not convincing. But the people got bored and nothing is changing for them, they still stand in lines. Things are difficult to get and the promised beautiful future is still far away…


الأثنين 22/12/003
صحوت في السادسة والنصف صباحا .عملت الفطور وأيقظت الاولاد, ثم تناولنا الفطور سوية,ثم ذهب خالد للجامعة وماجد للمدرسة.
الجو بارد جدا .ربما أثلجت في عمان. في الساعة السابعة والنصف انطفأت الكهرباء. دورت المولدة, جلست قليلا أقرأ صحف الأمس, ثم قلبت القنوات الفضائية لمعرفة آخر الأخبار. حوالي الثامنة عدت للمطبخ وأعددت وجبة الغداء للعائلة (شوربة وصينية معكرونة).
جاء السائق متأخرا عن الوقت الاعتيادي وأعتذر بسبب الازدحام في الشوارع ومحطات الوقود.
في المحل, حيث أعمل, جاء زبائن كثيرون. بعضهم مزعج لحوح وغبي وبعض آخر مسالم وهاديء. أعصابي كانت متوترة كثيرا حيث انطفأت الكهرباء عدة مرات وكل مرة اكون في بحث في موقع عن مقالات علمية تخص تلوث المياه ثم ينقطع الاتصال وأنزعج ثم أبدأ من جديد وهكذا حتى انتهى الدوام ولم أنجز أيا مما قررت عمله اليوم.
ألقيت نظرة سريعة على صحيفة اليوم فوجدت العناوين نفسها عن صدام حسين ومصيره المتوقع وتصريحات ومقالات لم يشبع بعد أصحابها من الشماتة والسخرية والتشهير والالفاظ السخيفة ...وكأنهم في مهرجان صاخب وهم متعطشين للصراخ مثل قبائل الزولو....ويتسائلون ماذا سنفعل بهذا الزبون الجديد نقليه أم نشويه أم نأكله نيئا .....كل ما يحدث يسبب الغثيان ....


I woke up at half past six in the morning. Made breakfast and woke up the kids and we had breakfast together. Khaled went to his university and Majid to school.
It is very cold, maybe in Jordan it even started snowing. At half past seven the electricity went off. I turned on the generator and sat for a short while reading yesterday’s papers, then I flipped thru the satellite channels to know what the news was. Back to the kitchen around 8am and prepared for today’s lunch for the family (a soup and a pasta casserole)
The driver was late and he apologized saying that the traffic jams in front of gas stations blocks the streets.
In the store, where I work, lots of costumers came. Some of them were annoyingly insistent and stupid and some others were calm and peaceful. I was a bit tense and edgy because the electricity kept going off when I am online trying to find articles about water pollution and purification, the connection would go off and I would have to start all over again. This went on all thru the day and I have done nothing of what I have planned to achieve today.
I took a quick look at today’s papers and found the same headlines about saddam and his expected fate, opinions and articles who’s writers didn’t yet quench their thirst making fun and gloating over saddam’s fate. As if they are in a very noisy carnival hungry for shouting around like some primitive tribe….wondering what shall we do with this new victim; do we fry,grill or just eat him raw……..all this makes me nauseous.

ولدت في بغداد ,وعشت فيها سنوات طويلة من حياتي .غبت عنها وعدت بعد خمسة عشر عاما . غادرتها عام 1976 بعد تخرجي من الجامعة وزواجي. وعدت اليها بعد حرب الكويت مع زوجي وأولادي الثلاثة. لم انتمي لاي تنظيم ولم تروقني الفكرة أبدا . لان عندي شعور ان الانسان حين يصبح عضوا في أي حزب فكأنما أصبح عبدا مسلوب الارادة.
خصوصا في بلدان العالم الثالث حيث الانسان لم يكتمل نضوج تجربته الحزبية بطريقة صحية هادئة. وصار الولاء للحزب فيه مصالح وفوائد للعضو واقاربه وأصدقاءه ....
حين عدت الى بغداد وجدت أن الناس صغارا وكبارا, نساء ورجال قد أصبحوا بعثيين, غصبا عنهم أو بأرادتهم. بعضهم يعلن الأمر ويتباهى ولا يمانع من الأستفاده لنفسه, وبعضهم خجلان ويحاول تبرير الامر.
كنت ارى الناس يظلم بعضهم بعضا, القوي يأكل الضعيف.
حتى الضعيف منهم لا يتوانى عن استغلال موقعه لكسب شيء ما من ضعيف آخر أو غني طيب القلب مغفل!
لم أكن أحب صدام حسين ,ولم أكن من المصفقين له أو المتسلقين ليستفيدوا من صفقة ما أو تجارة ما. وعندما يأتي زبون لشراء أجهزة من المحل ويقول انه من طرف الاستاذ عدي أو السيد وزير الداخلية وطبان, يصيبني انقباض في صدري وأتراجع وأجلس وراء المكتب وأصبح خرساء !
لا رغبة عندي في التعامل مع هكذا زبائن متعبين. لا رغبة عندي في التملق ولا أن أتورط وأقول كلمة لا تعجبه فأروح في داهية !
وعندما تأتي المناسبات "السعيدة" كعيد ميلاد السيد الرئيس يأتي الشباب الابطال ويطرقون أبواب المحلات طالبين المشاركة باعلان تهنئة في الصحف أو دفع مبلغ للاحتفال بالمناسبه السعيدة . وهم يعلمون انها عملية ابتزاز لا غير ولكن من يعترض ؟
والصحف مليئة بالمقالات المنافقة وقصائد الحب والمديح للسيد الرئيس القائد .
وأتساءل ,يصدر الان في العراق أكثر من 100صحيفة بعضها لأحزاب وبعضها مستقلة ,ومعظم الطواقم هم صحفيون سابقون .بالامس كانوا يصفقون ويكذبون ويتملقون ليعيشوا ....والان يفعلون ذات الشيء ولكن يسبون ويهزأون ويستعملون كل الالفاظ الرديئة ضد السيد الرئيس القائد سابقا ,الدكتاتور الجبان حاليا ...لماذا يفعلون هكذا هل من اجل أن يكسبوا الاموال ليعيشوا أم لتفريغ شحنات الحقد المدفونة منذ عشرات السنين ؟
الذين كانوا يتنافسون ويتسابقون من أجل التملق وكسب الامتيازات لهم أو لاولادهم بطريقة مشروعة أو غير مشروعة. هم الان الاكثر استعدادا للانقلاب لانهم بلا مباديء وبلا مصداقية وغير قادرين على أن يكونوا موضع ثقة لانهم لا يحبون سوى أنفسهم ومصالحهم وهم عبيد لمن امتلك السلطة والمال كائنا من يكون .....
وأظل حائرة اتساءل هل هؤلاء الناس أفسدهم صدام حسين أم أنهم كالقرود لا يمكن التعامل معهم الا بالقوة ؟
عندي كآبة وصداع ......


I was born in Baghdad and lived in it for a long time. I left this city and came back to it after 15 years. I left her in 1976 after I graduated from college and got married and came back to her after the first Gulf war with my husband and three kids. I never became part of a political movement or party and never liked the idea, because I have the feeling that when you become a member in any political party you become like a slave who doesn’t make his own decisions anymore.
Especially in third world countries where people have not yet fully matured their political experience in a healthy and natural way. The loyalty to the party became tainted with personal benefits for the member, his relative and friends…..
When I returned to Baghdad I found that the people, young, old, men and women have become Baathists, willingly or against their will. Some announce the fact and prides themselves on it and don’t mind working the situation for their own benefit and others are ashamed and try to find excuses.
I saw people wrong each other, the strong eating the weak.
Even the weak don’t stop from abusing his situation to get something out of someone who is weaker than their self or is a good hearted fool.

I didn’t like saddam. I was never one of his applauders or one of the climbers who were just after a lucrative deal. And when a customer comes to buy some water purification equipment from the store and says he is sent by Mr. Uday or the minister of Interior affairs Watban, my heart feels heavy, I sit behind my desk and become speechless!
I have no wish to deal with such tedious clients. I don’t like to be a hypocrite nor to be too frank with them and say something they don’t like and get myself in trouble.
When the “happy” occasions would come, like Mr. President’s birthday, and those heroic young men come knocking on the shop’s door asking us to contribute in an ad in the newspaper congratulating the president on his birthday, or asking for money as a contribution to the happy celebrations, they know it is blackmail, nothing else, but who is to say no? And the newspapers are filled with hypocritical poems of love and praise Mr. President our leader.
Today I wonder, there are in Iraq more than 100 newspapers now, some are party mouthpieces some are independent, in some of these papers the staff who work were journalists before. Yesterday they used to cheer, applaud, lie and give lip service to live…….Now they do the same but they curse, make fun of and use bad language to describe the former [Mr. president, our leader] who is now [the cowardly dictator]…….now why are they doing this? To live? Or to let out years of buried hate?
Those who used to act like they are competing in a Master of Hypocricy competition just to get more and more privileges for themselves or their kids are the ones who are most ready for big changes because they do not have any principles or credibility. They will never be trustworthy because they are selfish and slaves to anyone with power and money……
I am confused, have these people been corrupted by saddam or were they like this always and there is no way to deal with them?
I am depressed and have a headache.

my family..Is one of the very few,probably the only, family in Baghdad that is equipped with mobile phones..The reason behind that is that there was a special network established after the war for the NGOs (non governmental roganization).. And I was working with an NGO..My brother established an NGO, and so did my father,,, So, we can communicate all the time, which is nice.. and strange(!).......But,,,,
the only problem is that in Baghdad..You don't get enough electricity during the 24 hours to charge your mobile!! Isn't that just funny?
this is exactly like the fact that my dear brother, bought a Mercedes,ML430, with few tons of money,,and he..Actually we(since the whole family is ivlolved in the searching process) cant find petrol to let it move!!
as for my family's other cars..One of them is covered and stopping in the garage..And the other one is being used economically,,, look Mercedes: we already bought three cars from you..Cant you provide us some gas too?
the other fun fact is that there is a governmental internet service, which can be provided for you at home, a dial up service, but unfortunately..Most of the neighbor's still have no phones!
the last fun facr here is that we have been *liberated* and we went throught a war..A waaaaar//it shouldn't be a short word ,war, considering the mass of its meaning and consequences// and Saddam was captured..So are the whole play card set..And still..We don't have a president!

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

I think that I have a problem!
I am,,ehh,,over friendly?
is there such a thing?
I dunno..I know that a lot of girls think that am in love with them!!
I mean..It seems that men ARE really pigs..So when women c one nice guy..They just cant believe it..And when they meet an extra nice guy (as myself ;) they think" men cant be that nice..He must be in love with me"
should I slap *them*some times or something? :)
- hey..Good morning...Then bon..A slap..Then she thinks" ah .This is a normal guy..Its safe to hang up with him" :)
sow..I need some help here ..
take care of yourself..Don't show my blogging to your mams,,remember that our mission is not to let them know who we really are.

Monday, December 22, 2003

wow .. It's getting so crowded here!
for those who cannot read Arabic, Faiza (I mean mom) prefers to write in Arabic, but majed will be in charge of translating her SPEECHES :")
thank you for blogging maa

الساعة الخامسة مساء
جاءت الكهرباء الان.منذ الخامسة صباحا وهي مقطوعة .أتساءل دائما كيف تعيش العوائل التي لا تملك مولدة أو خط مشترك مع مجموعة بمولدة واحدة كبيرة. لا غسيل ملابس ولا تدفأة بمدافئ كهربائية والبدائل شحيحة في الاسواق.النفط والغازشبه مفقودة وان توفرت فهي غالية.أما البنزين فالطوابير أمام المحطات طويلة وتقاس بالكيلومترات وتدعو للدهشة والضحك، و قديما قالت العرب (شر البلية ما يضحك).....
الحياة تبدو قاسية وكئيبة .كنا قبل الحرب بحالة حصار لسنين طويلة ثم تعودنا تدريجيا كيف نتعايش مع واقع الحال.رغم اننا كنا محرومين من التواصل مع العالم,لا ستلايت لاموبايل لاانترنت ,فكل شىء ممنوع أو محدودبضوابط صارمة.لكننا كنا أسعد حالا من الان .
لا أعرف بالضبط لماذا لكن كأننا كنا عائلة مستورة تعيش أسرارها بجميلها وقبيحها وكان ثمة باب و شبابيك وبيت واسع يضمهم جميعا .والناس في الخارج يتسائلون ,بعضهم يحبنا وبعضهم يكرهنا,ولم نكن نبالي كثيرا لاننا
مثل كل الناس الاخرين نعيش يومنا بكل تفاصيله وهمومه,وعندنا طموحات
بغد أفضل.
واليوم.....انخلع الباب وساد الصراخ والفوضى في الدار الواسعة وصار أهل الدار يقتل بعضهم بعضا ويسلبه وينهش فيه مخالبه وأتساءل أين كان يختبيء كل هذا الحقد ؟
ثم جاء غرباء كثيرون ,يتفرجون علينا ,البعض القليل يود المساعدة والكثيرون يريدون الاذى لاسباب خفية أو معلنة. لا يهم فالنتيجة واحدة....

it is five in the evening.
Electricity just came back, it has been off since five in the morning. I wonder always how families who do not own an electricity generator or have a subscription with a neighborhood one manage washing their clothes or heating their houses since the alternatives are also scarce in the markets. Kerosene and cooking gas are almost totally unavailable on the market and if you find them they are expansive. And when it comes to gasoline, the lines in front of gas stations are so long they go on for kilometers and are amazing and funny.
Life feels harsh and gloomy. Before the war we were for years under sanctions and we got used slowly to the situation. How to survive and manage in our reality. And although we were cut off from the rest of the world (no sat TV, no communication and no internet) everything was banned, prohibited or very regulated, but we were happier than we are now.
I do not know exactly why, but we were like a family living its troubles and secrets, the good ones and the bad ones, in a house that had closed doors and windows. The people abroad would wonder about us, some like us some hate us but we didn’t care much because like many other people each one of us was living his life with its infinite details and sorrows, and having ambitions for a better tomorrow.
And Today, the doors have been pulled out, noise and chaos rule the big house and the people who live in are killing each other, they are stealing from each other and hurting each other. I ask myself where did all this hate hide for so long?
And then a lot of strangers came, looking at us, a few want to help but many more want harm for their own announced or hidden reasons. It doesn’t matter, the result stays the same.

* * *

كيف أستقبل الصباح؟
يأتي سائق بسيارته ليوصلني الى محل عملي.حيث حرمت من قيادة سيارتي وهي مركونة ومغطاة بالكراج منذ حوالي ستة شهور بسبب حوادث تسليب السيارات.
أمر بطريقي بشارع المطار حيث قطعت معظم أشجاره خوفا من المتسللين ضد القوات الامريكية ,فأصبح منظره حزينا مهجورا.ثم تمر مسرعة قوافل
من سيارات الهمفي ونهاية الرتل سيارات مكشوفة يقف عليها جنود امريكيون يوجهون رشاشاتهم صوب سياراتنا المدنية خوفا من عمل ارهابي!
فأعطي تعليمات للسائق بتخفيف السرعة والابتعاد عنهم قدر الامكان لئلا
نذهب ضحايا طلقة طائشة من بندقية جندي أمريكي جاء ليحرر العراق.

How do I start my day? I driver comes to drive me to my work place since I was denied the driving of my own car, it stands there covered in the garage since almost 6 months because of all the incidents.
On my way I go thru the airport highway where all the trees have been cut down for fear of people hiding amongst them attacking the American forces the road looks sad and deserted now, then suddenly speeding convoys of Humvees go by the end of the convoy is an open car with American soldiers standing pointing their rifles at our civilian cars, afraid of a terrorist act!
I tell the driver to slow down and to try to stay away from them as good as he can, just so that we do not become the victims of a stray bullet coming out of the gun of a soldier who came to liberate Iraq.

Dec 17
I arrived in Baghdad after a twenty-seven hour-long trip from Geneva. I was very tired then, but so eager to see my parents, my home and my neighborhood. I reached my lovely family’s home, I tasted the smell of Baghdad again… the electricity was off. Finally, I feel I am back home.

Day 4, Dec. 12.
It was the last day of the Summit, and I had to stories to report on in that day, both of them were generally about bridging the digital divine. So I went and spoke to people I needed/wanted to speak to, took information I needed/wanted. Then I went back to my place, and started editing. (You can find all stories I reported at the Al-Muajaha website
After that, I wandered in the exhibition area of the WSIS that included all the companies and corporations that were related and/or interested in the Summit. I got/took/stole lots of things from the stands there, some of them was useful… but it was fun in general to collect all these things.
At about 6:00 pm, about a 100 journalist –including me– were attending the closing conference of the Summit, hosted by the Chairman of the WSIS, and 3 other members of so-called managing board. They talked generally about how great and unique the Summit was, and their hopes of having better steps in information society within the next 2 years and until Phase 2 of the Summit in Tunis 2005. After the chairman finished his speech, the coordinator gave a green card to media to ask. Journalists started to fire their questions towards the managing board of the WSIS, I had a question in my mind and I stayed raising my hand all the time… but nobody called for me till the end of the conference, and immediately then I stood up and launched my question against the chairman. My question was “Mr. President, how dare you hope to have a better step in information society in phase 2 in Tunis, while here, in Geneva, we’ve all seen these violations against the freedom of expression inside the WSIS?” He said nothing but asked me to give him examples. I replied telling him about the Tunisian Paper and about Indymedia people who tried to enter some posters about their actions, but the Swiss soldiers at the checkpoint of the main entrance of the WSIS did not allow them to enter their posters and flyers, and took all the flyers instead. The Chairman did not say a word. But at that moment, one of the managing board stood to answer me saying that they knew about such events happening inside the WSIS and it is so sad to know that and they will try to fix the situation. (!)
We all –Iraqis and Iranians– went to celebrate the end of the WSIS, we had dinner at an Indonesian restaurant and it was good. At mid-night I excused from my fellows and went to Indymedia’s because they had a party, too.

I reached the palladium and found that the party was over, and they were all packing up their stuffs because the city was not ‘sorry’ for them anymore after the end of the WSIS. Yet, I enjoyed the last moments of their party… then they had to look for a place for me to stay, because I checked out from the hotel I stayed at after a big quarrel with the crew there. I ended up sleeping in one of the squats in Geneva with more than 20 other people. Still, it was cool!
I stayed for 3 more days in Geneva, were from the best days in my life… I learnt a lot from these guys. I learnt how to have a self-conscious in me, how to be creative, to be independent, free, to look in depth for the truth, and of course, how to go dumpster diving!

Day 3, Dec 11.


That was a boring day for me, I did nothing at the WSIS but sitting, browsing the Internet about different stuffs. I wrote several e-mails to friends and family, and did some searches about that Internet development trying to find something useful. At lunch, I met the people who covered expenses of my trip, and we talked about Iraq. Later I had an interview with a journalist, I do not know who was he or where he was from. However, he was so anxious to meet people from Iraq and talk to them so I did. He asked hundreds of questions that most of them seemed stupid to me…
The only thing that was fascinating is what I heard from people about a Tunisian Independent Newspaper that faced attempts of attacking people distributing the paper. And attempts to steal large amount of copies of that Newspaper around 2000, and the only possible cause for what happened is the article that was published in that Paper about how disappointing the WSIS was, as far as I knew about that event.
I left early from the WSIS, and it was getting more boring and disappointing day by day…hour after hour…minute by minute…by minutes. I could not stand the idea that there were 24 more hours left for the end of that Summit, seemed endless to me.


Jacquie (member of IMC-NY, a film maker) told me that she needed to make an interview for me, and we went outside talking about my opinions about the situation in Iraq, and that was a pretty boring subject to me, everybody always asked me that question and was waiting for my analysis for the whole current situation! I always answer that question, but feeling very uncomfortable about it. For me, I felt that I’m representing the Iraqi society when people ask me things about Iraq, the thing that makes me feel that every Iraqi mother and every Iraqi child and every Iraqi man are looking at me, praying to God that I may say something would help them, and that’s what really confuses me.
Anyway, the interview was not bad, I think… but I stayed with the guys there till about 3:00 am… then they gave me a ride to my hotel. I fell deeply to sleep.

Day-2, Dec 10.
The official opening day for the WSIS.

I woke up late again, and somebody was knocking so hard on the door, I found I already had my clothes on, I made my way through in the room trying to avoid walking on two people whom I didn’t know sleeping on my floor. I went downstairs, found the three Iranian girls, the two Iraqi women, Jo …all of them were waiting for me.

I arrived at the WSIS place at 10:30, and started to look for all the sources in the Internet about Internet development, and kept on reading things until 1:30 when I had to attend a five hour-long seminar about the new version of the Internet Protocol known as IPv6. I took all the information I needed in the first hour, and sat after that listening to what they were saying. Subjects started to get boring after an hour so I left and got back to my place in the Media Center, and started editing the information I got, I needed to make some interviews with people from ITU and ICANN so I went and did. I also made interview with spokesmen from Microsoft, Nokia, Sony, Sharp, and couple of other corporations that is involved or that make benefits out of developing the Internet. I went back to my place, continued my research on the Internet, replied my msgs, and downloaded everything I wanted/needed, I just liked to make full use of this damned 2Mbps connection.

I could not find anything interesting or useful either to me or to Iraqis or to the Middle East, actually, I could not find anything interesting for the whole world from my prospect. Therefore, I left early that day.

At night, I received an e-mail reporting on dirty ways of security that were discovered in the WSIS, like a tracking chip inside every Plastic ID, that makes censorship able to know where every stick holder is, what is he/she doing and with whom he/she is walking or talking or standing or sitting with. Moreover, with the help of the Internet proxy, ‘they’ can know what pages are browsed and who is browsing them and which PC he/she is using, and that was completely shocking. (For more information about those security managements, please check

When I knew that information, I just lost every seed of optimism I had about that Summit. Therefore, I stopped caring personally about that summit.

I went to that ‘alternative’ place that Indymedia people stayed in the night before but found it closed. I also found a paper telling me to go to the ‘Palladium’ and directions to it. I went and found that big cinema place called Palladium, inside it I found all these people from Indymedia gathering. Many computers connected among each other, video-editing devices and the big screen was showing some documentaries; obviously made by Indymedia people. I was later that the Palladium was given by the city after it felt “sorry” for them, in addition to a free phone line and an espresso machine.

I spent time talking with some people there about politics, the situation in Iraq, the Al-Muajaha paper situation, and couple of things… they were generally interested about it… we had dinner that was collected from the best food dumpsters in Geneva. (?)

Day- 1, Dec 9.
I woke up late, having this headache from last night …and its just like everybody in the world was knocking on my head, in a while I realized there are people knocking, but on the door… it was my trainer, Jo. So I got dressed up quickly and we all –three Iranian feminists, Jo and I- went out of the hotel, and walked to the bus station where bus No. 5 picked all media people to the ‘Palexpo’, a huge building that all exhibitions in Geneva took place. We reached the bus station and it was just a randomized media collectivity from ALL over the world, it was funny to see all these people gathered, but in the same time, it was something propitious indeed. The bus arrived and we all got inside it.

We reached the Palexpo in 10 minutes and I went to the registration office, the chick employee at the desk asked me for my passport and my invitation, but I was rather paralyzed when she was speaking to me, so all what I said was uh, umm, I don’t have. She didn’t look very happy with my convincing reply, so she murmured for a little bit and then she took me a picture with her digital camera and in 10 seconds she gave me my ID and a bag almost full of books and brochures and a piece of chocolate (?).

So, I waited for my comrades to register and then we all went to the main hall where the summit took place, security men and women were everywhere, we got our bags checked with x-ray machine and went to walk in a long cold tunnel. Eventually I entered the Palexpo, and I was huge, more than necessarily big, people were going in every direction, and all of them seemed seriously busy. It was the day before the official opening day for the World Summit for information Society (WSIS). So I went inside the media center area and grabbed a schedule about the next coming days, found a space for us to reserve for next days, I put my laptop on the desk, aside to a laser printer and a network hub where 6 LAN wires were coming out of it.

I found an instruction paper about how to connect to the Internet there, and I noticed that it is a proxy server set up there. Anyway, I connected my laptop to the Internet via the fastest connection I’ve ever seen in my life… later on I sat thinking of what subject shall I focus on during the Summit. Therefore, I chose to investigate about the Internet development, its technical benefits and political aspects.

I was concerned, having a proxy server in such a center for freedom of expression; I could not make myself optimistic about the future of this Summit.

Poly Media Lab
I went out of the WSIS, went back to the hotel… I found out that the other two Iraqi journalists arrived to the hotel finally, I dropped my bag at my room, and went out again with Jo and one of the two Iraqi journalists, Israa, Chief-in-Editor of the Iraqi newspaper Iraq Today, to check this story we heard about Police breaking in the place of the Poly Media Lab.

I had no clue about what Poly Media is, but when we got to the place and I read the sign ‘the police had shut down this place’ at the external wall of the building, I was curious to know what was there inside. So, we got inside… I found this map drawn on the door leading to the ‘alternative’ place of Poly Media, probably it was drawn after the police left… so the three of us went there and entered this lousy bar, Jo asked the landlord in French about Poly Media, he locked at us, and then showed us the place.

Once I entered this hall that had a stage on one of its sides, and people were all sitting and listening to one of them who was holding a mic and talking in English about a ‘situation’ they are facing, I smelled friendliness in that room and felt that those people are related in somehow to Indymedia, but soon people saw us and the atmosphere started to change. I noticed one of the walls had this data projector on it, and it showed text of people chatting among each other inside that hall, and all writings started to become like “stop the conversation, press are here” and “don’t continue your speech until the media is gone”. I tried to look for that friendliness I smelled, but I couldn’t smell nothing but silence. And that guy holding the mic, who was obviously facilitating this meeting or whatever, looked at us and ordered us to leave… I was not able at that moment to smell at all.
I had no other choice, I stood up and introduced myself as apart of Indymedia Baghdad, and they all began to laugh and make jokes on me, just like they were trying to give me a hard time, but in a friendly way.

So I met those guys, talked with them… and knew what the situation was…
The police broke into their place, allegedly saying that that was by request of the owner of the place… and they had to shut the place down because Indymedia people were using that place for work and accommodation, the thing that the owner didn’t accept. The police promised Indymedia people to give them a place where they can stay at, but instead, they closed that place and forgot/ignored their promises.

I understood that Indymedia people got upset and so they were deciding to threaten the city to give them a place where they can make their meetings in. People got bored of the meeting and decided to continue it later, then some of them invited me to free dinner, which was consisted of white beans burned to black, and cold half cooked rice, and gas-less cola.

We had fun, I made friendship with couple of them, and went back to the hotel with Jo and Israa and two other techies from IMC-Spain, who had no place to stay the night in after their place was closed. I was so tired when I got to my room so I just dived onto my bed and fell to sleep in a heartbeat.

(For more information about ploy media lab actions, please check the link

do i love her?
everyone keeps asking me the same question. gona disapoint you all..i dont!
but i wouldnt think that this kind of secrets what you are after..right ;)
SO, i have someone elese in my mind/not my heart/ and am not sure what to do.
here am i talking about uninteresting stuff again.
ok, it is funny what happened day you c people and they all seem to love Saddam and they seem to be happy with the system and the baath party..and most of them were actually attanding the party meetings,,and...
next day at the uni..after the war..i saw the same people i saw for the last four years..the same faces..but the funny thing that they all have defferent openions!some of them turned out to be a biiig opposite and a Saddam hater..most of them i have to say..and some others..were still loving Saddam and defending him..the most amazing part was about that doctor..who was leading the party meetings..and now he is giving us lectures about how happy should we be for getting red of Saddam!..its such a wierd situation...the day Saddam was caught,,i entered the classroom and i just didnt know what to say! i said loudly.."assalamo alaykom" ...which is the normal "hi" everyone gave me attention,,i said " congratilations for those who are happy.and deep sempathies for those who are sad" !! i wanted to please everyone..but it ended up that the both sides hated me:)) i think!
Propably..Saddam is one of the very few individualse on the green plnet that i hate..
but still..the last thing i thought of when i saw him between "their" to be sorry to disappoint you CIA folks..but i didnt receive your soldiers with roses..and i wasnt happy for Saddam's arrest.
know why?
cause propably, althought we hate him..although he distroyed us completely..although he distroyed our economy..our lifes..even our relegion,,but still, he was one of the few left who werent in the american conspirany ..i meen..he was one of the few who said NO to the devil (american fellows..nothing personal..its your goverment who am talking about),,propably that what made me sad,,again..the bad guys won.
we have that say here.."the enemy of my enemy is my friend" i think that is whats happened here.
enemy?ya,,unfortuantly..your goverments policy put them (and sometimes you) in the position of the enemy..isnt that true?
know something? i like american people..lately..during and after the war..i met so many foreigners,the thing that wasnt possible before;europians..americans..far east people..far west people..i worked with some of them..i made friendships with many others..and am still making new friends,,,what i want to according to my strange way of observing human behaviour..i look to people as if they were another specie..another kind of life..even iraqi and arab people..this way i can think silently..make judgments..avvoid the pre-made ones.
so,,after that process..i discovered..and dont laugh here,,,that we all are human beings!,we all have the same dreams...we all have the same hopes..we all have the same ambisious..we laugh..we cry..we want to raise our kids..we want peace..we want to feel happy..we want to love and be loved..isnt that right?
say yes please.
so if me..the simple 21 years old guy living in baghdad, where they lately heared about this invention called internet..and where they havent seen a mobile phone or a cridit card in their lifes..where no one ever heared about the big Mac (!), i say if I could c it..why the hell cant "one" of the most advanced goverments in the history of humanity c it too?
ya talking to you.
we were having a simple life..where the basic life needs are available and cheap..where security is not an issue..we used to drive back home at 3 am and feel safe..we lived a life where we didnt have the right to say something about poletics..thats true..and where people were killed for cursing Saddam..thats least we had a life..we could leave our places not worrying about the possibiliy of me not taking the insult of an american soldier who insult people on check points and do something afraid that "they" would kill me by afraid that anyone of my family could get the same afraid that they will break suddenly into my place looking for someone or something and distroy and steal everythingn in the critisize the americans..cause Bramer actually made a law for that saying that any kind of inflaming feeling against the ocupation will be considered as an attack or afraid to go back home..cause i know that there would be no electricity and that it will be dark and blue.
believe it ot not guys,,before you we had a life..a slow motion low-teck life? thats true..thanks to *you* we had a life,,,but now.....we dont. usual..i came to the uni morning..although i was really tired..and i was thinking of giving my self a day off..but i remembered all my mum's lectures about responsibility and these stuffs and decided to go anyway,,,after i took all the trouble and managed to get there/here(am in the uni now..they finally openned an internet service) i found...I f o u n d...that all the departments, including my department, Environmental Engineering(you must be impressed by now) are closed!! i couldnt believe it...first of all i thought that god finally answered my prayers and they actually cancelled the uni establishment..but shortly after i decided to KNOW whats going took a dep breath..and walked towards the paper on the department door..hoping that whats written is not gona destroy my innocent dream,, but unfortuanitally..that happened :(
it turned out that nothing happened at all..its just that someone, propably a student, through a grinade on a doctor's house, not forgetting to add a twist of machine gon bullets.
big deal!
c? and there are actually some ungrateful bastards who dont aprecciate the "libration"..for those i say..who gave you that day off? ha?
all the teachers decided not to teach for that day.
security situation is the ocupation responsibility, stupid Saddam could control it, when a crime used to happen..the whole city used to know about it..and you'l find everyone talking about it..that was low-tech saddam's result,,and now THE hi-tech USA cant garantee that your college will not be bombed any moment..daah.
now tell there anyone out there who still doesnt wana be librated yet?

Sunday, December 21, 2003

IT seemed very funny to hear the son of Gaddafi speaking on satellite channels yesterday, he looked like the Libyan version of Uday Saddam Hussein.
Mom is starting blogging .. Cheers everyone :")

test test

واحد .. اثنين ..

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