Saturday, September 04, 2004

 
Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
Good evening….
The weather in Baghdad has improved a little…in the early morning there are some nice breezes, but at noon and after, the weather is still hot…so, here is the end of August, and no door of winter was opened, as the old proverb says….perhaps in September the weather will be better….now, small flowers started blooming in the garden, and that is a new sign that the heat started breaking its intensity…
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I would like to talk a little about some daily happenings in my life these days…
In the morning the driver comes for me, rings the bell, I hurry out, carrying my purse, and a lot of papers concerning the business, the society, and other matters…
I close the front door behind me, I look suspiciously at the street and the passing cars, and I tell myself everyday that a car will stop, its windows will open, and machine guns will appear out of them, and shoot at me….
This thought always comes to my mind, and after the incident of my car, it became more intense. It haunts me in the morning, and when I get home at noon. I started to convince myself day and night that death walks with us, so, whenever it comes, welcome, we shall not stop working as long as there is life in our veins. There is a proverb of the Prophet (Prayers and Peace be upon Him), saying, in meaning: If the Day of Judgment comes upon you, and you were carrying a palm plant you intended to plant, go on, plant it and do not hesitate.
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Well, the work day is usually busy, talking to customers about Filters and Water Treatment Systems, in villages, towns, privet and sate-owned factories, and houses. Some times the talk is about Politics, our daily sufferings, war, the occupation, the Interim Iraqi government, and the ambiguous future of Iraq… I open the Internet Line, read my new messages, and answer most of them, while I finish checking the books, sales records and accounts…
And in business, there are some over settings, sometimes…
What provokes me most is a state official who buys equipments for his office, and asks for an increase over the bill value.
I say to him: in the days of Saddam the salary was law, and there was a reason for these acts, so, what is the reason now??
He laughs foolishly and says: Lady, the salary isn't enough yet, and there are still many people in the office who want their share…the head of the department, the accountant, the purchasing official….
I put my hand on my check and sigh, saying in my heart: The Ill-begotten money is like sea water…too salty to quench the thirst, and these will keep steeling, and never feel satisfied.
Today, a purchasing official in some state office came to me; I have already given a price list to a colleague of his in the morning, for an offer to buy a softener device, for reducing water hardness… He said he wanted to buy the device now, pay me in cash, without a bill, then he would sell it to his office by another price…
I stared at him, and all the sparks of anger flew from my eyes…
I said: This is not permitted…these are disgraceful acts, I do not make a deal with some people, then strike them in the back…
He said: What does it matter to you? I'll give you a clear sum of money, you'll pay no taxes…
I said: Thank you, and do not spare me the taxes, I do not care about it, but I do not like foul play, so, find someone else… I went back to my computer screen….
But he started insisting….Why are you so cross??? He said.
I looked at him and said, trying to be calm: My dear, I am not cross, but this is the way I understand things. This is my shop, I am free, and I behave in my own convictions. No one can force me to think his way, O.K???
He babbled a lot, he begged… but I preferred to act cool, and not answer. I busied myself with the Internet…so he left the shop.
I clapped my hands together…and said: Pity for the days of Saddam Hussein, when they were taking bribes, but in fear of being exposed…Today, there are limitless thefts, bribes, and official corruption….Who would ask, or know….each sings his own song….
What is the difference between these people, and those who robbed my car? All of them are regarding what is wrong as right, without care…all of them are the sickly product of a sickly time.
I remembered yesterday as I went back home from work, as we stopped to buy some groceries, the driver came to me and said: Can you imagine that, this taxi driver had a quarrel with that woman over there, she was wearing an Abba, and a veil over her face. He pulled the veil, and she turned out to be a man with a moustache, who wanted to rob him of his car.
I was amazed, and asked him: Where is she? He said: come, I'll show her to you…
We drove back to the main street, and there was this woman wearing an Abba, a veil over her face, showing the eyes only, and with her there was a 14 years old boy. She stopped a taxi, got in the back, and the boy sat beside the driver. I told my driver to move slowly until we are adjacent to the taxi, for I wanted to speak to the taxi driver in English, maybe he would understand, and get them out of his car. But my clumsy driver drove to the other side of the taxi, then shouted like a fool: Watch out, these are robbers, then drove on.
I was angry because of his foolishness, for foolishness is a gift sometimes, as they say. I told him to stop, the man did not understand you, he kept looking right and left for the robbers in the street, not knowing they were with him in the car, stop here and let talk calmly to him….
He said: UM Raid(oh, mother of Raid), be careful, they might be armed. This man dressed as a woman is surly carrying a gun…
I felt helpless, exactly as I felt in front of the thieves who robbed me of my car. And this fool with me ruined my whole idea, as we cannot move ahead now and talk, for the gang was in the car now, undoubtedly armed…. I kept following the car with my sight, as it went into a side street…my heart squeezed in sorrow for its owner, and his unknown fate. I kept thinking about what happened to him all day long, and at night, praying to GOD to be on his side, for this car is the livelihood of him and his family….
There was an Iraqi Army Search Point, somewhere in the distance, an American convoy heavily armed with automatic weapons, moving along the Airport Road….and the burning noon sun…
I rested my back to the car seat, sighed sadly again, and smiled bitterly. I went back home with a sour temperament….
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Two women came to the shop today, they were wearing Abbas. One of them sat on the chair in front of me to rest, while the other stood to ask about House Filters and their prices… I threw the pen out of my hand, stopped working, and kept staring at the seated woman…
I thought, maybe she will draw a gun from under her Abba and point it at my face, what shall I do??
I called one of the engineers to stand in front of me, beside her…I remained nervous, until they bought the filters, and left the shop….
I think life here will give me some hard psychological diseases, ha, ha, ha.
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Yesterday, one of the employees in the shop said, Good Morning, Yesterday my wife was beaten, and her purse was stolen…
I smiled, as I was receiving the morning's new disaster….a new disaster each morning, which is how to deal with matters, in a sporty spirit. So he said she was going to her school, for she works as a teacher, with her little daughter, and while going back home in a Mini-bus, with some other passengers, the bus stopped in Al-Gazzalia Street, two or three passengers took out some knives, asking the others to hand over their money and hand bags, then they beat them, and threw then in the street….
I do not know what to say…whether to laugh or cry??
And always the comment is: This is the Great Iraq….we have seen plenty of things in Saddam's time, and today we see more wonders….
I called the poor woman and said: Thank GOD you are safe, then laughed and said: Do not care, we are all drinking from this glass…. This is how you prove you are an Iraqi, you get burned by fire….and be patient…
We have no other choice……
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I went to a Charity society a few days ago, and I saw a young woman with a familiar face, who wanted to join the society…
I smiled and asked her: Where have I seen you before?
She said: I do not remember, but your face is familiar….
I said: My name is such, my job is such, and my work address is such….
She said: Oh…yes, I remember, I came to you with a French Organization, and we bought some equipments…
I clapped my fingers in the air, saying: yes, I remember you. You are a Doctor? She moved her head positively.
I sat with the ladies to discuss some issues. Then they suggested discussing the young Doctor's request to join the society.
She said she has worked with Non-Governmental Foreign Organizations, and now wants to work with a Non-Governmental Iraqi Organization.
They read the application, and found out her father was a Minister some time, and her mother is a well-known social and humanitarian activist, so they all said, Of course we agree for her to join us…
I lowered my head, and smiled….
I know another face of this woman; she came to the shop with some French people asking about equipments, then came back with a colleague without the French Organization members, and stood aside with Azzam, arguing with him how to gain a $10 commission….
I looked at her today, and smiled….the Minister's daughter wants a $10 commission, what do I tell a poor people's son when he asks for a commission???
And how do people choose clean symbols for leading posts???
Of course I would have been happy by her joining my society, if she asks that, and I found her to be the daughter of that man, and that woman…but today I look to the matter with a different eye… she has taken bribes, how could I trust her???
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Iraq today lives its worst conditions, who will reform this distressful reality… the Public Sector and Public wealth are being stolen and robbed very easily, and in public….who will be the judge??
Who will fix matters, who will elect honest, impartial leaderships, to lead the future of Iraq… Thieves are increasing daily, in numbers and experience, how many years shall we need to control them, and eradicate them??
And some small projects are being constructed for Iraqis, and huge expenses are being spent, most of them are bribes and thefts…
This is a continual depletion…who shall stop it??
The country is in an eddy, and the existence of foreign forces adds to the complications of the situation….
An honest, strong, nationalist Government, that's what is needed…to solve all problems…
But what is happening now, is that the Government is in a confused situation, complying to the biddings of the occupation forces, to eliminate the opposition, and open-up fighting fronts against Iraqis, instead of opening dialogue doors, doors of compassion, gathering the shreds of the torn people.
This is the disaster of foreign forces existence in any country….forces that posses a political and military agenda which they want to carry-out at any price, and let the country and its people go to hell….
This equation will have some other elements, in and out of it, if there was a national Rule, then, the equation and its elements would be totally different… There would be priorities to reconstruct the country, keep security, and control the gangs and stealing of public monies…
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The American elections are getting near… We no longer care who shall win, what we care about is that the American people should pressure its coming government to be more truthful and serious in accomplishing peace and security for Iraqis, to reconstruct Iraq, and to open the horizons of a shiny future… all that they have failed to accomplish till now…
What have they succeeded in doing???
They succeeded in opening new warring fields in Iraq, succeeded in admitting foreigners and terrorists into Iraq, and destroyed what was left of good in this country, and these people.
Some small, humble, good accomplishments took place ( restoration of schools and Medical centers, and some water and sewage stations, for example…), but they are not in proportion with the endless tide of daily disasters…
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I want to get back and think about this war since the beginning, and who wanted it to happen… the American Government has special interests, some of which are exposed, the others are subject to possibilities…so they put their hands into those of the Iraqi Opposition, or the part of it that permitted itself to enter Iraq on an American tank. I know of some Iraqi opposition who refuse, till now, to put their hands into the hands of the occupation Army, saying their existence here is illegal….but those are broken, so lights aren't directed on them…
All right, so these parties whose interests are coincided with the American interests, are laboring after Authority, Seats, and Posts. They have spoken in the name of the poor Iraqi people, whom everyone speaks in his name, while he is the last to know…. These parties and people received Authority here, and fought upon it, and Ahmed Al-Chalabi is one sample of them…
These samples think of their advantages and privileges, while the advantage of the Iraqi people is in the heels of their shoes…. Exactly as I used to say: The Interest of the Iraqi people is written on the bottom of Saddam Hussein's shoe heel….and those who came after him were no more merciful to Iraqis than him… each is panting after his interests, and let the people fall in hell…
This war has been waged in the name of the people, the occupation forces are present in the name of the people, the fighting in Fallujah and Najaf is in the name of the people, and the National Conference that has been elected there, far away in the Conferences Palace, also speaks by the name of the people….
And all this is taking place by the blessing of America…..
What can we say??
All that happened to us is by America's knowledge, America's partaking, and America's consent….
So, is America foolish??? Or vicious??
Did they posses any good intentions that they couldn't fulfill???
I wish I could be naive enough to believe the subject had some good intentions, and a complicated reality that stood against fulfilling them???
The question is: Who rendered the Reality into what it is now, and thus pushed it out of control??
The parable says: The road to hell is full of good intentions.
And we say: War in Iraq is like the road to hell…filled with good intentions.
But what have we reaped???
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Today I read in a newspaper that the Conference of the Republican Party is in session in America… and there was a photo of an Iraqi woman speaking in the conference, saying: the United States presented Liberty and Democracy to the Iraqis…
And this is exactly what Bush and his administration wants, Witnesses from Iraq, to verify the success of his campaign in Iraq…
But that woman was in an opposition Party against Saddam, and now she is an official in the American Islamic Council, so the reason looks obvious, why did she come to thank Bush, did she come by the name of the miserable Iraqis here? Those who are dying of fear, distress, and sadness for what destruction has done to their lives?
But the question is: How much percentage among Iraqis does the opinion of this woman represent?
Those in the Parties who have their own viewpoints, are they some 5% of the people, or maybe 10%? Does the opinion of those really represent the Majority of people? Would the American people understand such tricks?
I smiled as I imagined a conference held by Saddam's supporters somewhere, they would bring tens and hundreds of people to testify that Saddam Hussein was a brilliant leader, a democrat, and…., and….
Politics is a game far removed from truth and reality….a game that uses all means to convince people with a certain viewpoint… which wouldn't be correct most of times.
A happy person is that who can get away from the continuous brainwash, going on day and night through different Media means.
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I can perfectly understand the attitude of the American Government…. They have waged war on Iraq, they have vouched to rebuild Iraq in a new style… so, it is to their advantage, and to keep face, they would say everything is all right in Iraq…and moving according to schedule. Because admitting defeat would destroy the government's future, and that of the Ruling Party…
Well, all we care about as Iraqis is for the coming administration to be more honest and transparent in dealing with the Iraqi file…we want no excuses for the catastrophes that happened, but we want a successful and tangible work plan, that would rebuild our life again…this is better than apologies.
If I have done some wrong to a person, or a group, the best thing would be to help them get over their pains, which I was partly responsible for. That is how I understand things, according to my view and experience in life. To help those whom I have, intentionally or non-intentionally, shared in destroying their lives. To lead them to a better future…to help them build their new life…
This is what Iraqis want from America and its new government….good deeds on the ground of reality…deeds that would make Iraqis happy, and prove the honesty and seriousness of America towards us….
I do not wish for four new coming years of pain, unsuccessful experiments, unclear visions, and going astray…..
The American people will be the one to help us, they will be in test, and not only the government's credibility…. The whole nation there is subjected to the test…. A test of truthfulness in keeping promises, a test of the humanitarian vision towards other nations….
The test of Civilization, and the ability of Cultural Communication with others….without violence, without boasting or bragging, nor lying to oneself.
I hope America will succeed in the test here, for it will give her a good, clean reputation, and will give us a lot of hope in the presence of an honest, understanding partner, who intends to help us..........
Days will be between us........
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I received an E-Mail from an American reader, who says she is against war on Iraq, but her mother, who represents the old generation, approves of the war, and what happened during and after it… She sent me a web site address containing a letter from an American father to his four sons, justifying the war, and stressing the need to stand by Bush and his Administration to finish the campaign….that father says that war against America is as old as 1979, meaning since the kidnapping of the American Diplomats in Iran… the operations against the Marines and the Embassy in Beirut, the Embassy in Nyrooby, and other terrorist operations.
The letter is full of malice against Islam and Iraqis, illustrating them as monsters who hate America and envy her….
The letter was disgraceful, representing a short-sighted, limited, and malicious viewpoint…. I was astonished by that logic, wondering to myself, do they hate and despise us like this, then claim they waged the war because they love and pity us….
I can't understand whether they came here to help us, or to have their revenge upon us???....
I only want to understand the true face of America…is she with us, or against us… I want frankness…nothing but frankness, for that is the first key to know the other, and his true intentions.
The military operations of the war ended in a short time….
But that who deserves respect and clapping, is the one who can make peace and stability, reducing the disasters of the after-war period, disasters like gangs, thieves, robberies, and official corruption…
This is the true test of the American ability here….
If she succeeds, she deserves to be the Paramount Nation who deserves respect… And if she doesn't….then she is the nation who deserves pity….more than Iraqis. For her bereavement is a lot bigger than theirs.
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Translated by May \ Baghdad.


Wednesday, September 01, 2004

 
الأربعاء 1/9/004
مساء الخير....
تحسن الجو في بغداد قليلا...في الصباح الباكر, ثمة نسمات لطيفة, لكن في وقت الظهر والعصر ما زال الجو حارا...
وها هو آب ينتهي ولم يفتح للشتاء باب, كما يقول المثل القديم....
ربما في أيلول سيتحسن الجو أكثر....
والآن بدأت زهور صغيرة تتفتح في الحديقة, وهي علامة جيدة بأن الحرارة بدأت تنكسر حدتها...
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أريد أن أتكلم قليلا عن بعض أحداث حياتي اليومية هذه الأيام..
في الصباح يأتي السائق ويرن الجرس الخارجي, أخرج مسرعة وبيدي حقيبتي وأوراق كثيرة تخص العمل ,
والجمعية , وأمور اخرى...
أغلق الباب الخارجي خلفي, وأنظر بريبة للشارع والسيارات المارة, كل يوم أقول ستتوقف سيارة, وستخرج من الشبابيك بنادق أوتوماتيكية, وستطلق النار علي....
هذه الفكرة تراودني دائما, وبعد حادث السيارة, زادت حدتها.
وتراودني صباحا, وعند عودتي ظهرا للبيت.
وبدأت أقنع نفسي صباح مساء أن الموت يمشي معنا, فمتى جاء, أهلا وسهلا, ولن نتوقف عن العمل ما دامت الحياة في عروقنا
يوجد حديث للرسول عليه الصلاة والسلام يقول ما معناه : لو قامت الساعة وبيدك غرسة نخل كنت تنوي زراعتها, فاغرسها ولا تتردد.
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حسنا , يوم العمل عادة مزدحم بالحديث مع الزبائن, عن أمور تخص الفلاتر ومنظومات معالجة المياه, للقرى والمدن والمعامل
الخاصة والحكومية وللبيوت. واحيانا الحديث عن السياسة ومعاناتنا اليومية والحرب والإحتلال والحكومة العراقية المؤقته, والمستقبل الغامض للعراق. ...
أفتح الإنترنت وأقرأ الرسائل الجديدة, أجيب على معظمها..بينما أكمل تدقيق الدفاتر والمبيعات والحسابات...
وفي العمل توجد احيانا منغصات...
أكثر شيء يستفزني, هو موظف الدولة الذي يشتري أجهزة للدائرة ويطلب زيادة السعر على الفاتورة.
أقول له : أيام صدام كان الراتب قليلا وثمة مبرر لهذه الأفعال, والآن, ما السبب ؟؟
فيضحك بغباء ويقول : مو ست الراتب هم ما يكفي, وأكو هواية ناس بالدائرة تريد, من رئيس القسم الى المحاسب الى مسؤول المشتريات...
أضع يدي على خدي, واتنهد, وأقول في قلبي : مال الحرام مثل ماء البحر...مالح ولا يروي, وسيظلون يسرقون ولا يشبعون.
جاء اليوم مسؤول المشتريات لدائرة ما, وكنت قد اعطيت زميله في الصباح عرض سعر لجهاز سوفتنر لتخفيف عسرة الماء...
قال انه يريد ان يشتري الجهاز الآن, ويدفع لي نقدا, ولا يريد مني فاتورة, وسيبيعه هو للدائرة بسعر آخر...
نظرت اليه, وطلعت من عيني كل إشعاعات الغضب...
قلت له : لا يجوز...هذه أفعال مشينة, لا أتفق مع ناس, ثم أغدر بهم...
قال : ما يهمك؟ سأعطيك المبلغ صافيا, ولن يقطعوا منك ضريبة...
قلت: شكرا, لا توفر علي الضريبة, لا يهمني أمرها, ولكني لا أحب هذه الألاعيب, إبحث عن غيري...
رجعت الى شاشة الكومبيوتر....
لكنه بدأ يلح....ولماذا انت حادة؟؟؟ قال .
نظرت اليه وحاولت أن أكون هادئة : عزيزي , لست حادة, لكني أفهم الامور هكذا, وهذا محلي, وأنا حرة, أتصرف بقناعتي,
لا أحد يجبرني على التفكير بطريقته, إتفقنا ؟؟؟
بربر كثيرا...وتوسل كثيرا, لكني آثرت البرود وعدم الرد, وانشغلت بالإنترنت...فخرج من المحل.
صفقت يدا بيد...وقلت: رحم الله أيام صدام حسين, كانوا يرتشون ويخافون أن يكشفهم أحد ما...
واليوم سرقات ورشاوى وفساد إداري بلا حدود....
من يسائل ومن يدري....كل يغني على ليلاه....
ما فرق هؤلاء عن الذين سرقوا سيارتي؟
كلهم يحلل الحرام ولا يبالي...وكلهم نتاج مريض, لزمن مريض.
وتذكرت بالأمس حين كنت عائدة من العمل, وتوقفنا لشراء خضار, وجاء السائق وقال : تصوري, هذا سائق التاكسي تعارك مع هذه المرأة تلبس العباءة وتضع على وجهها خمار, سحب الخمار فطلعت رجلا بشوارب, كان يريد تسليب السيارة.
بقيت مذهولة, قلت أين هي, قال تعالي سأريك إياها...
رجعنا بالسيارة الى الشارع الرئيسي, كان ثمة إمرأة تلبس عباءة وتضع على وجهها غطاء لا يكشف سوى العينين,
ومعها ولد عمره حوالي الرابعة عشرة, أوقفت سيارة أجرة وركب الولد جنب السائق, وركبت هي في الخلف, قلت للسائق تقدم ببطء وقف جانب التكسي أريد الكلام معه بالإنكليزية, ربما سيفهم, وينزلهم من سيارته, لكن سائقي الأخرق, وقف جانب السيارة الأخرى, وصرخ كالمعتوه : إنتبه , إنهم سلابه, ثم مضى للأمام.
غضبت من غبائه, فالغباء موهبه كما يقولون, قلت له توقف, الرجل لم يفهم عليك, صار يلتفت يمينا ويسارا يبحث عن السلابه
في الشارع ولم يفهم انهم معه, قف هنا ودعني أكلمه بهدوء....
قال : أم رائد إحذري فقد يكونوا مسلحين, هذا الذي يتنكر بزي إمرأة, أكيد يحمل معه مسدسا...
أحسست بالعجز, تماما كما حدث لي أمام اللصوص الذين سلبوني سيارتي, وهذا الغبي الذي معي أفسد فكرتي كلها, لا نقدر أن نتقدم الآن ونتكلم, العصابة داخل السيارة, وهم بدون شك مسلحون....تابعت السيارة بنظري وهي تدخل في فرع جانبي...وانعصر قلبي حزنا على صاحبها وعلى مصيره المجهول, وبقيت طوال النهار والمساء أفكر فيما حصل له, وأدعو الله أن يكون معه, فتلك السيارة مصدر رزقه ورزق عائلته....
كان ثمة جيش عراقي يقف هناك في نقطة تفتيش بعيدة, ورتل أمريكي مدجج بالأسلحة الأوتوماتيكية يمضي في طريق المطار.... وشمس الظهيرة الحارقة...
أسندت ظهري لكرسي السيارة, وتنهدت مرة أخرى بحزن, وابتسمت بمرارة, وعدت للبيت متعكرة المزاج....
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اليوم جاءت إمرأتان للمحل تلبسان العباءات, جلست أحداهما على الكرسي امامي لتستريح, ووقفت الأخرى تسأل عن الفلاتر المنزلية وأسعارها...رميت القلم من يدي, وتوقفت عن العمل, وبقيت أحدق في هذه الجالسة أمامي...
قلت ربما ستخرج مسدسا من تحت عباءتها وتصوبه لوجهي, ماذا سأفعل؟؟
ناديت أحد المهندسين ليقف أمامي, والى جوارها...وبقيت متوترة, حتى إشتروا فلترا وخرجوا من المحل....
أظن أن الحياة هنا ستصيبني بأمراض نفسية صعبة, هاهاها.
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بالأمس , قال الموظف معي في المحل, صباح الخير, البارحة سلبوا حقيبة زوجتي وضربوها...
إبتسمت كمن يستقبل مصيبة الصباح الجديدة....كل يوم مصيبة جديدة, هكذا ينبغي التعامل مع الموضوع بروح رياضية.
قال انها كانت ذاهبة لمدرستها, هي تعمل معلمة, كانت مع ابنتها الصغيرة تعود للبيت في باص صغير, مع مجموعة من الركاب, وفي شارع الغزالية, توقف الباص, وأخرج إثنان أو ثلاثة من الركاب سكاكين, وطلبوا من الركاب تسليم نقودهم وحقائبهم اليدوية, ثم ضربوهم وألقوهم في الشارع....
لا أدري ما أقول...أضحك أم أبكي ؟؟
دائما التعليق : هذا العراق العظيم....رأينا أشياء كثيرة أيام صدام , واليوم نرى أعاجيب أكثر....
إتصلت بالمرأة المسكينة وقلت الحمد لله على السلامة, ثم ضحكت و.قلت :لا تهتمي , كلنا نشرب من هذا الكأس....
هكذا تثبتي أنك عراقية, تكتوين بالنار....وتصبرين...
لا نملك خيارا آخر......
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دخلت إحدى الجمعيات الخيرية قبل أيام , فرأيت شابة وجهها مألوف, تريد الإنتماء للجمعية...
ابتسمت لها وسألتها : أين رأيتك من قبل ؟
قالت : لا اتذكر, وجهك مألوف....
قلت : إسمي كذا وعملي كذا وعنوان عملي كذا....
قالت : آه...تذكرت جئتك مع منظمة فرنسية واشترينا اجهزة...
ضربت بأصابعي في الهواء, وقلت : نعم, تذكرتك. أنت طبيية؟
هزت رأسها بالإيجاب .
جلست اناقش موضوعا ما , مع السيدات.
ثم قالوا نناقش طلب هذه الطبيبة, تريد الإنتماء للجمعية.
قالت إنها عملت مع منظمات غير حكومية اجنبية, والآن تريد العمل مع منظمة غير حكومية عراقية.
قرأوا الطلب , فتبين أن والدها كان وزيرا في وقت ما, وأمها ناشطة معروفة بقضايا إجتماعية وإنسانية, فقالوا طبعا نوافق...
أطرقت, وابتسمت....
أنا أعرف وجها آخر منها, جاءت للمحل مع فرنسيين تسأل عن أجهزة, ثم عادت مع زميلها بدون اعضاء المنظمة الفرنسية,
ووقفت بعيدا تتناقش مع عزام كيف يعطيها عمولة عشرة دولار....
نظرت اليها اليوم, وابتسمت ...., إبنة الوزير تريد عمولة عشرة دولار, ماذا أقول لإبن الناس الفقراء حين يطلب عمولة؟؟؟
وكيف يختار الناس رموزا نظيفة لمواقع قيادية؟؟؟
طبعا كنت سأفرح بإنتمائها لجمعيتي لو طلبت هذا ووجدت أنها بنت فلان وفلانه...
لكني اليوم انظر للموضوع بعين أخرى...هذه مرتشية, كيف سأثق بها؟؟؟
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العراق اليوم يعيش أسوأ حالاته, من سيصلح هذا الواقع الأليم...
القطاع العام والمال العام, يسرقان وينهبان بكل بساطة وعلنا....من سيحاسب؟؟
من سيصلح الأمور, من سيختار قيادات نزيهة شريفة لتقود مستقبل العراق...
اللصوص يزدادون يوما بعد يوم, عددا وخبرة, كم سنحتاج من السنين للسيطرة عليهم , والقضاء عليهم؟؟
ومشاريع صغيرة تنجز للعراقيين, ومصاريف هائلة تصرف, معظمها رشاوى وسرقات...
هذا إستنزاف مستمر...من سيوقفه؟؟
البلاد في دوامة, ووجود قوات اجنبية تزيد من تعقيدات الموقف....
حكومة وطنية شريفة قوية, هذا هو المطلوب...لحل كل المشاكل...
لكن الذي يحدث الآن, ان الحكومة في موقف مربك, وهي تلبي طلبات قوات الإحتلال لتصفية المعارضة وفتح جبهات قتال ضد العراقيين , بدل فتح أبواب حوار ومحبة وجمع شمل للشعب الممزق.
هذه كارثة وجود قوات أجنبية في أي بلد....لها أجندة سياسية وعسكرية تريد تنفيذها بأي ثمن, وليذهب الناس والوطن الى الجحيم....
المعادلة تصبح لها عناصر اخرى داخلة وخارجة, لو كان ثمة حكم وطني , فالمعادلة وعناصرها ستختلف تماما...
ستكون ثمة أولويات لإعادة بناء البلاد, وضبط الأمن, والسيطرة على العصابات, والسرقات من المال العام...
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الإنتخابات الأمريكية على الأبواب...
ونحن ما عاد يهمنا من سيفوز, الذي يهمنا هو أن يضغط الشعب الأمريكي على حكومته القادمة لتكون أكثر صدقا وجدية في تحقيق السلام والأمان للعراقيين, وإعادة بناء العراق, وفتح آفاق مستقبل مشرق...هذا الذي فشلت لحد الآن في تحقيقه...
بماذا نجحت ؟؟؟
نجحت في فتح ساحات قتال جديدة في العراق, وأدخلت الغرباء والإرهابيين الى العراق, ودمرت ما تبقى من خير في هذا البلد
وهذا الشعب.
إنجازات صغيرة جيدة متواضعة حدثت( تصليح مدارس ومستوصفات ومحطات مياه ومجاري مثلا...) لكنها لا تناسب مع سيل الكوارث اليومية الذي لا يقدر بحجم...
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أريد العودة والتفكير بهذه الحرب منذ البداية, ومن أراد لها أن تقوم...
الحكومة الأمريكية لها مصالح خاصة بعضها مكشوف وبعضها خاضع للإحتمالات...ووضعت يدها بيد المعارضة العراقية
أو جزء منها, الذي أباح لنفسه دخول العراق على دبابة أمريكية,
اعرف أن ثمة معارضة عراقية لحد الآن ترفض أن تضع يدها بيد جيش الإحتلال وتقول أن وجوده لا شرعي هنا....لكنها مهمشة ولا تقترب منها الأضواء...
حسنا تلك الأحزاب التي اتفقت مصالحها مع أميركا, هي تلهث وراء السلطة والكراسي والمناصب, وتكلمت بإسم الشعب العراقي البائس, الذي يتكلم الجميع بإسمه, وهو آخر من يعلم....
هذه الأحزاب والشخصيات إستلمت السلطة هنا وتناحرت عليها, والجلبي نموذج واحد منها...
هذه النماذج تفكر بمصالحها وامتيازاتها, ومصلحة الشعب العراقي في كعب أحذيتهم....تماما كما كنت أقول : إن مصلحة الشعب العراقي مكتوبة على قاع حذاء صدام حسين....والذين جاؤوا من بعده لم يكونوا أكثر رحمة منه للعراقيين...
كل يلهث على مصالحه, وليسقط الشعب في الجحيم...
هذه الحرب تم شنها بإسم الشعب, وقوات الإحتلال موجودة بإسم الشعب, والقتال في الفلوجة والنجف بإسم الشعب, والمؤتمر الوطني الذي تم إنتخابه هناك بعيدا في قصر المؤتمرات, أيضا يتكلم بإسم الشعب....
وكل هذا يتم بمباركة أميركا.....
ماذا نقول ؟؟
كل ما جرى لنا هو بعلم أميركا, ومشاركة أميركا, وموافقة أميركا....
فهل هي غبية؟؟؟ أم خبيثة؟؟
أم أن النيات حسنة لكنهم لم يقدروا أن يحققوها؟؟؟
ليتني أكون ساذجة وأصدق ان الموضوع فيه نيات حسنة, وواقع حال معقد يحول دون تحقيق الأمنيات؟؟؟
والسؤال هو : من الذي جعل واقع الحال هكذا, وأخرجه عن السيطرة؟؟
المثل يقول : الطريق الى جهنم يمتلي بالنوايا الحسنة.
ونحن نقول: الحرب على العراق هي مثل الطريق الى جهنم...تمتليء بالنوايا الحسنة.
لكن , ماذا حصدنا؟؟؟
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اليوم أقرأ في الصحيفة أن مؤتمر الحزب الجمهوري يعقد في أميركا...
وصورة إمرأة عراقية تتحدث في المؤتمر وتقول : الولايات المتحدة قدمت للعراقيين الحرية والديمقراطية...
وهذا تماما ما يريده بوش, وإدارته, شهود من العراق, على نجاح حملته على العراق..
لكن هذه المرأة كانت في حزب معارضة ضد صدام , والآن هي مسؤولة في المجلس الإسلامي الأمريكي
السبب يبدو واضحا, ولماذا جاءت تشكر بوش
هل جاءت بإسم العراقيين البؤساء الذين هنا؟
يموتون من الخوف والكآبة والحزن على ما حصل لحياتهم من دمار؟.
لكن السؤال : كم يمثل رأي هذه المرأة من نسبة بين العراقيين؟
هؤلاء الذين في الأحزاب ولهم وجهات نظرهم الخاصة, هل هم أكثر من 5 بالمئة من الشعب,أو 10 بالمئة؟
وهل هؤلاء يمثل رأيهم حقا رأي الغالبية من الشعب؟
وهل يفهم الشعب الأمريكي هذه الخدع ؟
ابتسمت وتخيلت مؤتمر يقيمه أنصار صدام , في مكان ما, ويأتون بعشرات ومئات من الذين سيشهدوا أن صدام حسين كان قائدا فذا, وكان ديمقراطيا, وكان وكان....
السياسة لعبة بعيدة عن الحقيقة والواقع....تستعمل كل الوسائل لإقناع الناس بوجهة نظر معينة...معظم الأحيان لا تكون صحيحة.
والسعيد هو الذي يقدر ان ينجو من غسيل الأدمغة الذي يستمر صباح مساء عبر وسائل الإعلام المختلفة.
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أقدر أن أتفهم موقف الحكومة الأمريكية تماما....
هي التي شنت الحرب على العراق , وهي التي تعهدت ببناء العراق على طراز جديد...
إذن من مصلحتها للحفاظ على ماء وجهها أن تقول ان كل شيء على ما يرام في العراق...ويمشي حسب الأصول.
لأن الإعتراف بالفشل سوف يدمر مستقبل الحكومة والحزب الحاكم....
حسنا, ما يهمنا كعراقيين هو أن تكون الإدارة القادمة اكثر صدقا وشفافية في التعامل مع الملف العراقي ...لا نريد اعتذارا عما
حدث من كوارث , نريد خطة عمل ناجحة وملموسة تعيد بناء حياتنا من جديد...هذه أفضل من الإعتذا رات.
إن أسأت لشخص أو مجموعة, فافضل طريقة هي في مساعدتهم لتجاوز آلامهم التي كنت أنا جزءا من أسباب حدوثها, هكذا أفهم حسب نظرتي وتجربتي في الحياة.
أساعد الذين شاركت بطريقة ما , مقصودة أو غير مقصودة, في تحطيم حياتهم.
أقودهم الى مستقبل أفضل...أساعدهم في بناء حياتهم الجديدة...
هذا ما يريده العراقيون من أميركا وحكومتها الجديدة....أفعال طيبة على أرض الواقع...أفعال تفرح العراقيين وتثبت صدق وجدية أميركا تجاهنا....
ولا أتمنى أربع سنوات جديدة قادمة من الآلام والتخبط والتجارب الفاشلة وعدم وضوح الرؤيا.....
الشعب الأمريكي هو الذي سيساعدنا , وهو الذي في الإمتحان, ليس فقط مصداقية الحكومة هي التي معرضة للإمتحان.
الشعب هناك كله معرض للإمتحان....
إمتحان الصدق في تحقيق الوعود, وامتحان الرؤيا الإنسانية نحو الشعوب الأخرى....
امتحان الحضارة , والقدرة على التواصل الحضاري مع الآخرين.... دون عنف, دون تكبر وتفاخر, دون كذب على الذات.
أتمنى أن تنجح أميركا في الإمتحان هنا, سيعطيها سمعة جيدة ونظيفة, وسيعطينا الكثير من الأمل بوجود شريك متفهم وصادق
وينوي مساعدتنا..........
الأيام بيننا........
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وصلتني رسالة الكترونية من قارئة أمريكية, تقول انها ضد الحرب على العراق, ولكن والدتها التي تمثل الجيل القديم تؤيد الحرب وما حدث فيها وبعده...
وترسل لي موقعا الكترونيا فيه رسالة من أب أمريكي لأبنائه الأربعة, يبرر بها الحرب, ويشدد على ضرورة الوقوف مع بوش وإدارته لإكمال الحملة....ويقول ذلك الوالد ان الحروب ضد أميركا قديمة منذ 1979 , اي منذ خطف الدبلوماسيين الأمريكيين
في ايران...والعمليات ضد المارينز والسفارة في بيروت , والسفارة في نيروبي, وغيرها من العمليات الإرهابية.
الرسالة تمتليء بالحقد ضد الإسلام والعراقيين, وتمثلهم كوحوش تبغض اميركا وتحسدها....
الرسالة مخجلة, وتمثل وجهة نظر حاقدة وقصيرة ومحدودة....ودهشت من هذا المنطق, وتساءلت مع نفسي, هل هم يكرهوننا ويحتقروننا هكذا , ويدعون بانهم شنوا الحرب حبا فينا وشفقة علينا....
لست أفهم هل جاؤا هنا لمساعدتنا, أم للإنتقام منا ؟؟؟....
أريد فقط أن أفهم الوجه الحقيقي لأميركا...هل هي معنا, أم ضدنا...
أريد الصراحة...لا شيء سوى الصراحة, فهي المفتاح الأول لمعرفة الآخر, ونواياه الحقيقية.
الحرب انتهت بعملياتها العسكرية بفترة قصيرة....
لكن الذي يستحق التصفيق والإحترام هو الذي يقدر أن يصنع السلام والإستقرار, ويقلل مصائب ما بعد الحرب, من عصابات ولصوص وسرقات وفساد إداري...
وهذا هو الإمتحان الحقيقي لقدرة اميركا هنا....
إن نجحت فيه إستحقت ان تكون الدولة العظمى التي تستحق الإحترام...
وإن لم تنجح....فهي الدولة التي تستحق الرثاء....أكثر مما يستحقه العراقيين .
فمصيبتها اكبر من مصيبتهم
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Monday, August 30, 2004

 
Good morning....
I have put new pictures from Baghdad.
I wish you`ll like it.
and I wish you all good day.
faiza

Sunday, August 29, 2004

 
Thursday, August 26th, 2004
Good evening…
Baghdad is still in tension, the streets may close suddenly, increasing the traffic jams, and many hits against the occupation forces taking place in most inner Baghdad streets and high-ways, as an expression of anger against what is happening in Najaf. Grief continues in Baghdad…
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I would like to speak about Najaf, and what this city means to us Iraqis generally, and to Shi'aa in particular.Najaf holds the Mausoleum of Imam Ali (Peace be upon him). He is the Prophet's cousin, his companion since the beginning of the calling for Islam, the husband of his youngest daughter, Fatima (Peace be upon her), the father of Al-Hassan and Al-Hussein, (Peace be upon them).Ali, (Peace be upon him), suffered from revolutions and inquietudes during the period of his rule, wars erupted in his time, the Islamic Caliphate state became divided into two states: one in Iraq, with Ali, the Prince of Believers, the Caliph, being of the kin of Prophet Muhammad, (Prayers of God be upon him, and HIS Mercy and Blessings), and one in Syria, the Umayyad state, the first seed to the secular state which separated the state from religion, taking another path in life… luxury, power, some leisurely few in high palaces, and far- away people whose word couldn't reach the ruling faction… I think it was the seed of the dictator, unjust, Arabic state. While in the Caliphate state after the Prophet (Prayers of God be upon him, and HIS Mercy and Blessings), Ali being the last of them, the leader was a man from the Prophet's companions, or his cousin, and the Islamic Principles in Mercy and Justice were the prevailing rules, the Prince of Believers wearing humble clothes, sitting among people. He, his wife and children were an example of modesty and good manners to people. I think that model was the core of a Democratic, Islamic State, where the ruling was under the emblem: (Their Decision is in consultation among themselves), from the Holy Quran.
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Kufa was the Caliphate center in Ali's rule (Peace be upon him), the Kufa mosque, Ali's house, and some other religious sites are still there, where people visit them. When he died, (Peace be upon him), he was buried in Najaf…So, Najaf city became a sacred symbol to Muslims, especially Shi'aa, where they bury their dead.Graveyards in Najaf are vast, endless cities, as if without boundaries…as if they are real cities, but its residents are in another world, having different customs…differing from the cities of ordinary people. On its walls there are writings: Peace be upon you, people of –NO GOD BUT THE ONE GOD, you are the former, we are the latter…When I read it I feel spiritually calm, shy from the dead, and feel sad for the fate of all humanity. Every year we go, my sisters and I, to visit my parent's graves…we take fruits and pastries to distribute among the poor, asking them to read Al-Fatihaa Verse (The first verse in Quran) for the souls of our dead…we sit by the graves, lighting candles, reading the Holy Quran, remembering our loved ones, and we cry for their separation from us… and when we get back to Baghdad…I keep thinking all the way: How petty life is, how a human should live in all honesty and truthfulness, because he will surly die, so die an honest, well-remembered person, better than dying a villain who harmed people and stole their rights, or spilled their blood without justification… And I remember the words of Imam Ali (Peace be upon him): Death is the best preacher…meaning- that remembering death schools the soul, and purifies it from greed and follies.And also his words: Work for your life as if you will live forever, and work for your after-life as if you will die tomorrow…
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We used to perform these rituals at the end of Rajab, the Arabic month, every year before the war…Last year we didn’t go…..And these days are in the month of Rajab, and there is violence, fighting, and blood in the streets of Najaf and Kufa…So we will not go…I saw pictures of the American soldiers barricading behind the walls of graveyards, carrying their automatic weapons, and shooting at Al-Mahdi Army….I kept staring at the picture, putting my hand on my cheek, and a voice inside me asking: Oh my God, even the dead weren’t spared by the occupation forces? They followed them to the graves, and disturbed their peacefulness….What should I say?I always said- thank GOD my father and mother are dead, and didn’t see the occupying army, they would probably have burst in grief to see Iraq an occupied, destroyed country…. But the occupation forces want all Iraqis, dead or living, to know it is here, want to step upon them all, dead or living, by their consent, or without it …….That is how things seem to be….
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I always wonder: what is the difference between a man lying, and a man telling a half truth??? I don’t know….for there are many aspects of explanations.All right, Bush meets some Iraqi men whom Saddam Hussein cut their hands for dealing in dollars by the Black Market some time…the punishment was cruel, and In-human.And Bush volunteers to have artificial limbs fitted to those men, courtesy of the American government, or his personal account.He uses the subject as an advertisement for his humanity…So, why doesn’t he take some Iraqi children whose limbs were amputated by cluster bombs, dropped by the occupation forces on Iraqi villages, and have artificial limbs fitted to them?? Does he have the audacity to show the American people the other side of the story?? Why?? If he was a just, merciful, humanitarian man, let him complete the picture…That is how I understand courage and justice. And this is how I want the American people to think when looking at our reality, so the picture would be complete. So there would be honesty with one’s self…..
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Exactly like the history of Red Indians in America…When the story is told by biased governmental sources, they portray the Indian as an aggressive, barbarian, backward person…And when we read the works of Historians and writers, we see a different picture, we see the Indian as a good, understanding human, but there were clashes between their tribes and the state army, which drove them out of their forests and pasture lands, in order to be given to new residents to cultivate…so the Indians revolted against the new comers…Truth has many faces, so the picture would be complete…And only a fool sees a one dimensional picture, and believes it to be the whole truth.
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Going back to the Iraqi Business Women Society…the Society is new, poor, and in need of research, proposals, projects, and locating some funding for those projects…. I have a lot of various ideas, which I wrote down as small projects. I visited some factories of Hand-Made and Mechanical Carpets, who are state-owned factories, their products are beautiful and lovely, I am thinking (as a project) of buying some of it to export to Europe and America and other countries… I was also thinking of exporting pieces of the lovely Iraqi Hand-crafted products …thinking that part of the profits gained by these sales would revert back to the society to buy new products, and the other part would be used to buy winter clothes and school bags to a number of poor students, as a contribution from the society to re-build the local community…There are some Non-Iraqi societies working here, who have very good funding from abroad…they are researching in defending women’s rights, enlarging the political contribution, and democracy building. I attended a lecture today…by the title: Violence against Women.The Doctor spoke about cases of violence against women, its damaging effects upon their personalities, and upon society… then the girl responsible for that Society Branch said she would show some slides next week, pictures of women who were violently treated by their families. She said she is preparing for a symposium bout the discrimination by mothers against children, and some other painful, realistic stories… and a family whose crippled daughter burned herself, because she couldn’t face their sarcasm…Most of the attendants left…I approached the remaining ladies and the Doctor who gave the speech, and said: I have some comments, if you please…She said: Be our guest….I said: Who decides the program of the lectures? And who steers them in this direction??They said: We do, what's wrong with it?I said: These programs are suitable for a society living in normal conditions, and in peace, like the societies of America or Europe… like an Operah show, and her weird stories. But our society is torn apart, just out of war….the lectures are supposed to be aimed at keeping the Iraqi family bound, not to show painful, provoking cases. Displaying the pictures of violence is a provocation to violence…. They said: We want to make the women more aware.I said: A woman should not leave here feeling provoked against her husband and family, she should be made aware by another way…without altering priorities… and I took the pen and wrote on the board: ( The Most important thing is to keep the family's unity). They shouted to my face: How? Give us your ideas; we do not want some general speech… I said, All right, in the next lecture I will give you ideas.
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On my way home I kept thinking about the answer…Yes, I found it….Lecturing women about things like-How to raise your children affectionately, without violence…How to treat your retarded or crippled child …and How to raise your children without discriminating between them…These are slogans of loving tenderness to unite the family…not aggressive slogans which make enemies out of family members…. I will present them in next week's meeting…by the will of GOD.
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I find that the Iraqi family is in need of someone to take its hand to a better tomorrow…someone to help in solving the daily problems, especially economic problems…some societies that would help families to establish small business projects, to earn some daily bread, instead of letting their members become an easy target for crimes and theft…I think that these are the societies we need now…On some coming stage we will need societies that concerns itself with democracy and the political process, but now I see these as one-eyed societies….looking for democracy and political freedom, but does not see a catastrophe called Occupation….how could some people enjoy democracy and political freedom, while occupied by foreign forces??? How come??This is a contradicting equation, someone here is laughing at himself…or on people.There are clashes in Iraqi cities, civilians falling dead and wounded, houses, mosques, and commercial shops demolished, and some aggressive policy in dealing with opposition and opponents…then comes some American society talking about democracy, and giving lectures to Iraqis…Where is Democracy? What have we seen of it??We saw deeds very much like those of Saddam Hussein, more cruelty, and more repression against opponents.And the man didn't even speak about democracy; he was a clear, pure dictator…But America wears all masks and faces…and takes them off at will…Violence and blood mingles everyday with words like democracy and freedom….Some fiasco is being played here everyday…it makes humanity ashamed.
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We all remember how Hussein Kamel bombarded the Imam Hussein shrine with artillery fire, after the upsurge in the south, 1991. He addressed Him, jeeringly: You are Hussein, and I am Hussein…After that he fled from Iraq, had a conflict with Saddam Hussein, contacted America, and gave them information about Iraq and the weapons of mass destruction, thinking America will reward him… But he returned to Iraq in a mysterious way… Uday killed him, demolished the house over his head, and stood over his corpse with his shoes, stepping over his head.The Iraqis were saddened by the ugliness of these acts, but they said, and still say, This is the consequence of bombing the shrines of the Prophet's Kin, and making fun of them.And today America is bombing the Imam Ali shrine, unaware of what she is doing….Days will be between us…and as we saw the tragic end of Hussein Kamel, we will see the end of whoever behaves like him…..
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Sorrows are aplenty, and speech is long…. But what good would it do??Bush and Kerry are quarrelling these days about the story of the phony violet medal of Kerry's since the Vietnam War… each is heaping accusations upon the other…Not a proper conduct of presidents of a super power at all…behaving like little children, each exposing the other in front of people…And the American people are divided among themselves…Here, we no longer care who wins…for it will be the same, the future of Iraq is dark.Even if Bush wins, he will be gone for good in four years time, and perhaps Kerry will come, and he doesn't have a clear vision of anything…The American people, and the whole of America's future is threatened between Bush, his war on Iraq, and his being a religious conservative…and between Kerry, and the Liberal slogans, without religion, nor restrictions of any kind… But Bush, in spite of being religious, was mercilessly cruel, for that who has a religion does not wage wars, killing, and spilling blood…Actually, both choices are bitter…. And this is a painful crisis, a country of 350 million people, and only two contradicting candidates.I do not know, but I feel that what will come will be painful…Iraq is occupied by a country filled with problems and crises…How are we to manage our affaires, and how will our future be?I do not know…we are in the middle of an eddy…inside of which there is another eddy… Who will save us? America itself is in need of that who saves her from what she is in……..
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I wish to visit America, and meet the American people in open symposiums and free-spoken discussions. I want them to know the truth of what is happening here since Baghdad fell…I want them to know the truth from lies… I do not want to take part in election campaigns against Bush, or with Kerry… I have nothing to do with these tricks…I do not like it. But I want to help the American people open their eyes from their slumber…exactly as I want to help the Iraqi people to get up, and rebuild their lives all over again…Long live the people, down with governments….
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Translated by May \ Baghdad.


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