A Family in Baghdad

Saturday, June 25th, 2005
Good morning…
I am still in New York… it is a very crowded city…and looks old and filled with emigrants from all countries of the world.
Washington looked like an elegant, over proud Aristocratic lady…
New York looks public, noisy, inelegant, and not clean…
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Yesterday walked on the Brookline Bridge, which is an old one, with big piers of old, huge stones, and connected to them were the metal cables that carry the body of the Bridge. The Bridge has a central lane for pedestrians, with fences on the right and left, separating the car's lanes…
On the left of the Bridge, as we head towards the Municipality building, and the city center, looms ahead the Liberty Statue; a woman carrying a torch. The statue seems like it is drowning in far away fog….belonging to a far away world…
There were some boats making their way thought the water…with buildings lining on the left, which seem to be shopping centers, and not residential buildings…
I asked my friend, Tara: what are these? And where is the World Trade Center that was destroyed, and thus generated the war on poor Iraq?
She said: these buildings gather the big commercial companies, usually called (corporation) by the people here, as they express their anger and hate towards these companies; Mobiles, Computers, various products controlling the price in the market, merging with each other to protect their commercial interests, and the poor citizen is always the crushed one, and the won't-be-satisfied-companies are the beneficiaries….
I stood and looked on…..and understood that the buildings that were destroyed on that accursed September, (a black hour may it be), were here, standing among those…
Hummm…
I remembered the poster of the burning towers, the steel skeleton the only remaining part, and on it were stuck the photos of people who died here, and a great sentence: Our brothers will never be forgotten…
I remembered that poster, hung in the office of Senator Hilary Clinton, when we went to meet the staff in her office, to talk about Iraq, (she is the New York State representative, and that is why the poster hung in her office).
I asked him: before I talk about Iraq, can I know the Senator's position from the war on Iraq? Is she with, or against?
I think he was surprised from my question, but he was smart, and diplomatic… he said: after the September events, Senator Hilary joined a march to give President Bush the authority to react upon those events…
Hummm…
And what is her position now?
He said: she is following up the news about Iraq with concern, and interest, and she does not approve of the Abu Gahreb and Guantanamo prison's events, she is worried about the human rights…
Hummm…
I looked at the picture, the burning towers, and the photos of the dead…
I asked him: do you think there is a connection between us in Iraq, and this ugly criminal act? Do you think we did this to you?
Is there any evidence that an Iraqi hand was here?
Why do we have to pay for the mistakes of others?
He talked a lot…defended, and gave justifications, as usual… I do not want to hear the same boring words; I don't even want to remember….
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We walked on the Bridge…the weather was nice, the air fresh… I remembered the Generous Tigris, as it crosses Baghdad, beautiful, and calm….after the war its sight became silent, and sad, as if it carried the sorrows of all the Iraqis…
Whenever I saw old, tall trees, in Washington, Vermont, Boston, and New York, I remembered the Baghdad airport Road, with the trees growing for some 30 years; tall, green, bright…then, the ugly occupation forces came on, and cut off all the trees on that road, burning their roots, for security reasons, of course…
How much did we lose in Iraq; the souls of people we love, trees, roads, bridges, and destroyed houses…for the sake of "Liberating Iraq", which isn't liberated yet, but rather entered a dark prison, darker, and more cruel than those of Saddam Hussein's.
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After I met the staff of a number of Senators with my friend Mary, who works with the American groups demanding ending the war, and troops withdrawal, I became convinced that they know nothing about Iraq, and that the scope of their information, or their vision of what happened, and what is happening until now is: nothing…
And what about the future? What are the suggested solutions to bring peace to Iraq: nothing.
I discovered that their knowledge of Iraq is as much as my mother's, May GOD rest her soul, knowledge about the Nuclear Science.
I used to come back tired, by the end of everyday, tired by much talk and explaining so they could understand what is happening in Iraq, from an independent view point, by some eyes that have seen the injustice of Saddam Hussein and his mistakes, and the injustice of the occupation forces, and their mistakes….
I said to them: the thinking of the future should be free, and its vision should also be free; it shouldn't take sides, lie, or change the facts, as some in the Parties or the government usually do…those have lost their freedom, because they look at matters with one eye, so they look at half the truth, and cover the other half….
I used to tell Mary: by GOD I want to go home soon, I am not convinced by a dialogue with people who work for the government, it’s a waste of time….but I am doing it only for you, because you arranged that program.
The dialogue with non-governmental organizations is usually more comforting, and more positive, because they listen carefully, asking questions to know what happened, and what would the Iraqis suggest?
And asking how to extend help? They want to open direct links with Iraqi groups working inside Iraq, to coordinate the efforts of getting the occupation out…
I felt they were honest, seeking any possible way to help the Iraqis…
While the groups that work with the Senators; some of them used to listen carefully, with interest, and take notes, while others stared in my face, and I knew nothing of what's on their minds; with me? Against me?
I see them staring at me, bewildered….
Some promise that they will make all possible efforts and convey the information, and I think they are truthful to their word.
Others took no notes, leaving the room as if they were in a heavy, boring mission… and I do not suppose he will mention Iraq to the Senator he is working with…
But in my various meetings, I said to most of them: this is the actual state of things in Iraq now; the country is destroyed, the people are angry against the occupation, having lost all faith in it, they suspect it has any good intentions, that it is planning to remain in Iraq forever, that the Iraqi government is sending secret messages to extend the existence of the occupation forces in Iraq without consulting the people, and these are dangerous conducts, this government, who is supposed to represent the people, asking the people about their opinion. People discovered that the elections were an unclean, non-transparent game, the leaders of the parties, religious and non-religious parties, convinced the people to risk their lives to participate in the elections, promising to improve their conditions; the water supply, electricity, jobs, improve the security conditions, and drive away the occupation forces….so, the people went on and participated…your TV. Channels and your newspapers showed the photos of the Iraqis, with the purple imprint on their forefingers, and you said this is the victory in Iraq.
What victory is this?
The people elected lists that they only saw on the same day of the elections, and those had no working program.
Why should I elect while I do not know who is this and who is that, and what are their programs?
Do you usually do this here, in America?
What was changed for the Iraqis?
The new government spent three months, with its members in conflict around the positions…
Is this the democracy you wanted for Iraq?
When I used to see a convoy of a government member in Baghdad, there were two Humvee vehicles in front of his car, and two more behind it, with two helicopter planes hovering above…
Is this the government I should trust? A government living under the protection of the occupation forces?
We, the civilians, walk the streets, and are subjected to killings, robberies, and kidnappings, with only GOD, the lord of all creatures to defend us….
Where is the stability in Iraq? And what is the future that awaits us?
Do you think the Iraqis are like the miserable Afghanis?

Taliban used to forbid them from going to school…
While Iraq had a free educational system, you finish the university, and you can continue with the Masters and Doctorate degrees almost for free…
There are thousands and thousands of well-educated people, bearing high degrees, in Iraq, men and women, and from those the new Iraqi leaderships shall emerge….
Some of the assistants said to me: Why aren't you in the Iraqi government? You deserve to be a prime minister…
I answered, laughing: I am a clear person, and I do not like lies. I do not want the occupation forces in Iraq. Your government won't like me, and they will prevent any Iraqi like me from getting to rule in the present time…
And there is an assassination campaign going on in Iraq, since the end of the war, till now, a campaign to eliminate the beautiful, intelligent, Iraqi minds, so the main stream would remain populated only by the weak and poor, those who wouldn't argue….or wouldn't understand what is going on…
But after more than two years, and all the deadly attempts to evoke a civil war, the attempts didn't succeed; the Iraqis endured, because we have learned from our fathers the story of the British occupiers, and their well-known slogan: Divide, then rule….
And thank GOD, the Iraqis still reject the idea of a civil war…
When I studied about "Peace Building", I found it a clear and easy subject. I didn't go to the moon to study about peace, there are institutes in every American state teaching the Building of Peace, and this the Alphabets of whoever wants to work in politics.
Why wouldn't your leaders go to study peace?
I am just an engineer, but I found myself after the war working with Iraqi organizations, there were problems and chaos, so I decided to study something to lean on; it is a science, to be implemented in the post-war societies…
The occupation forces, and Premier, created conflict, and a division among Iraqis, not peace…
Do you want us to believe that the American leaders do not know how to make peace in Iraq?
Or to believe that what happened; the dividing of people, the provocation of hatred and violence were just mistakes, and mismanagements?
Very well, let me assume we are naïve, fools, and shall believe, what is the solution you have now, on the ground of reality?
What is the alternative?
They said: the government is talking now of a troop withdrawal, and a comprehensive national Iraqi dialogue initiative.
Hummm.
I said to them: this is your chance to prove your good intentions to the Iraqis.
There should be an official announcement of the opening of a national Iraqi dialogue, for Parties, and the national coalitions inside the government, and outside of it… they should sit around one table, put down a schedule of topics, and discuss every thing, the most important of which being the schedule of the occupation forces evacuation from Iraq…. And how to deal with the enemies who are hurting the Iraqis everyday, sending trapped cars to kill the civilians.
They must sit down together, and have a frank talk, face to face….
They asked me about the insurgents, and I said, as always: I do not like that word… we divide them into two groups; the national resistance, and those are against the occupation, and even the Iraqi government wouldn't dare to say that they are the enemies of the Iraqis…
But there are some faceless enemies, and those we want to throw out of Iraq… with the occupation forces, for they are connected together; if the occupation goes, so would the reason of their existence…
Iraq needs a strong government, springing from the people, an army, a police force to serve the people, not to arrest people, detain them, and torture them…
Leave Iraq to the Iraqis……
That would be the only solution................
If you want to help us, well, thank you. But if you don't want to, that would be your problem…
We know our way now..........
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When I got back from Washington to New York, by train… I saw thousands of cars parked in vast parking lots, in various cities. Trains ran in different directions, inside and outside of the cities…planes raced through the sky, towards far and near airports… huge trucks carried goods through the high ways…
And I realized that this country would die if it should lose the fuel…
It is the life's blood for it… without it, they would die…..
And I fully understand what is happening….
America is in a dilemma… a serious dilemma…
They cannot say the truth: we want your land; we want your oil…
So, they spend the time making up stories, and stories, and stories… to the American people, the Iraqis, and the whole world… to justify their remaining in Iraq…
I know it is a big challenge to the future of Iraq, and to the Iraqis…
But we do not have many choices… either we surrender to them, fear them, and hide in our houses…
Or we can stand up to them, stand in front of their faces, stop them in their tracks, and get them out of Iraq.
Because we endured a lot…and lost a lot…
We want a nicer future to our children…
And enough of what we saw; of injustice, and agony…
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Translated by May/Baghdad.

Thursday, June 23rd, 2005

I arrived to New York today, from Washington D.C... I was very tired from traveling, and carrying the bags…
People here, I mean the men, do not help women as we are accustomed in our country.
My friend "Tara", a Canadian, came to meet me at the airport, and we carried the luggage together, no body helped us, and when we got to the building where she lives, we said hello to the janitor, but he didn't come to help us, so, we pulled the luggage to the elevator, and babbled a little about his miss-manners, I said to her; maybe if we have offered him some money, he would have helped us, for there is nothing done fro the sake of GOD here… money is perhaps the only language. On the train from Vermont to Washington D.C, I arrived at night, after 10 p.m., I wished someone would help me to bring down my luggage, I asked an African American man, who was sitting near the door where the bags were to help me, he was wearing headphones on his ears, but he said: I'm sorry, I have my stuffs. Then he went off the train, carrying one bag on his shoulder.
I wondered at the men of this city, in our life, men run to help any woman, considering that to be an act of gallantry and noble manners…and here, they just shake their shoulders, and move on carelessly…
This is an astonishing culture…where women demand their rights, what are their rights?
I said to them, in more than one occasion: in Iraq, and in most Arab countries, the woman has the right to learn, work, vote, travel, drive cars, choose her husband, handle her possessions, so, what do you think you will bring to the Iraqi and Arab women more than that?
And now I discovered that the Arab Muslim woman is respected by the men in society, and always pampered in public places, and among friends and relatives… if I carry something heavy, I always find someone would take it from me, and help me, if I had a flat tire on the road, I always find some man would come forward and help me. It is an expression of respect that would always make us happy, giving us a sign how firmly connected our societies are, and how beautiful, natural, and comforting our relations are.
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Our professor said, in one lecture while we were talking about the foreign non-governmental organizations when they enter some society; then they would make a common mistake, when they address all that society with the language of: we understand more than you do, so we shall spend the money according to our own understanding… and so the money would go to fancy cars, luxurious offices, luxurious houses for the organization's members, on meetings, workshops, and empty talk….while what that society really needs is development, productive projects, marketing the products of poor families to improve their conditions… but no one really cares about the real needs of people.
There is a huge gap between that society, and the organizations that came from abroad for its sake…
And I think the Iraqis suffer from the same problem…. Hovering between the American administration's vision of the solutions to solve the Iraq problem, as they think it is the right solution, and between the Iraqi's vision, which no one listens to, for two years and more now… and look what the outcome is?
Destruction, devastation, losses of souls and possessions, and nobody cares, for the sole loser is the Iraqis themselves…
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When I arrived in Washington in the evening, I found Rick and Mary waiting for me at the railway station…
We took a small car driven by an African American man, we put the luggage in it, and he dropped us to where they parked their car.
When we got to the house where they live temporarily, we said; it is really a small world, for we met for the first time in Baghdad after the war, as they came to work in a non-governmental organization, which really helped the poor families, by organizing workshops teaching sewing for women, teaching them a career, in the hope of helping them improve the income of their families.
And we met again in Amman, after I left Baghdad, tired, my head heavy with worries, and questions: what is happening in Iraq? Where are they driving us?
And today, here we meet in Washington; it is really a small world….
When we were in Amman, Mary gave me the address of the institute in Vermont, but I rejected the idea in the beginning, and found it ridiculous: what peace shall I study? What empty words? Iraq is being destroyed!
But GOD had it in His will that I would go, so I assented to the idea later on, applied for my Visa, and had every thing they asked for ready to go, and participate in the summer training course.
I got a lot of benefits out of that program, it opened my eyes, and through it, I understood a lot of what happened, and what is happening to Iraq… I saw a lot of participants from many world countries, each told the story of his country, with the pain in it, without the usual filtration of the lying, official governmental Media…..
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On the next morning, which was a Sunday, we went for a walk in the wide streets of Washington; this city is the governmental center, I found it clean, tidy, and officially elegant, filled with government offices in big, sizable buildings, and distinguished buildings like the Capitol, the Congress Library, the White House, the Senator's offices, and their employees, where they receive people from outside America, or from the inside, by pre-arranged appointments, listening to their speeches, promising them that they will relate it to the Senators….
There were many Museums on the same area, we had a discussion, then decided to go to two of them only; the Botanical Museum, displaying the botanical life from around the world, and the Native Americans Museum.
An American friend, whom I got acquainted with yesterday, asked me: what did they tell you in that Museum? Look how we killed them?
I said to her: it made me very sad to read the story of the Red Indians, and the injustice they were subjected to, I wished that Rick, Mary and I could stand on the pavement just outside, and ask the people walking out of the Museum: what are your comments about the Museum?
My American friend said, laughing: Faiza, what do you expect? They will tell you there are lots of beautiful pottery in that Museum, from the traditional Indian products…
I laughed a lot to her sarcastic remarks…. I didn't expect those remarks from an American, for they are more sarcastic than my own….
Ha, ha, ha…
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The Museum was new….built with a beautiful Architectural design; the main exterior building material was small, yellow stone, and glass. Inside, there were electrical elevators and escalators, wide walkways, and marble. There were some halls showing documentary films, exhibits of traditional products, or sculptures and paintings by American Indian artists, commemorating the memory of their heritage and symbols. There were halls hosting glass fronts, on which was written sections of the history of the eradication of the native people of this country…
A long, sad history….bringing to shame the consciences of people, those who still have any conscience…
There were exhibits of knives, daggers, swords, and sickles they used to make, small jars, and pottery cups, like any simple primitive products of people living that age, (the beginning of the story here, is the year 1491, as the Museum says).
Then, the history here says; the Europeans invaded this land, found gold in it, and used it as a source of strengthening the currency of their country, starting campaigns to kill the natives here, and in about 150 years, they killed more than 20 millions of them, and only a few millions remained, living in far off regions, isolated from the cities built by the white new colonists.
Those colonists were hungry and greedy, coming from a Europe which suffers wars and crises, so they found this land, full of the wealth they need…
All right, you could have shared the wealth with the natives, but why kill and eliminate them?
Shame on you…….
What is this sick mentality, a mentality that loves injustice, tyranny, controlling the weak, killing them, and obliterating them from existence?
Then, they forced the Christian religion upon them, so that each Indian performing the rituals of his old religion would be punished by death.
What is this? What kind of a religion is this?
If we made them Christians, like us, they were supposed to have become our brothers and sisters, to be treated fairly, and given their rights. But to force them to take our religion, and then enslave them, how can that be?
There is a cruel, sick mentality of those Europeans, and I can see that some of it is still here, in their grandchildren…
Mary asked me: what did you know of the story of the Indians?
I said to her: when I was young, I used to see western cartoon films, without translation, and in those, there was a Red Indian, with a feather in his hair, his nose was crooked, meaning; he was wicked, he used to sneak behind the rocks to hurt the innocent, nice people…
Ha, ha, ha… then, in the western cowboy movies, we used to see the same story, only played by people, not cartoons…
That was how America marketed the story of the Native Americans to the world.
Why did they change their minds now? Is it really a case of an awakening conscience?
And what is the meaning of an awakening conscience, after 500 years of such a history?
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We tried to buy something as a souvenir from that Museum, but the prices were fiery… a small statue of an Indian man or woman, had a price of more than $100, or more than $200. There were some marble slabs, on which there was engraved some Indian faces, with feathers in their hair, the cheapest of which was $30….
The spirit of the material and investment still dominates the Museum's atmosphere…
Rick and Mary gave me a book about the elimination of an Indian tribe, they said you shall cry a lot, and be sad. I said to them: I learned not to cry about the stories of sadness, but to make them a lesson to learn…. Like I watched the film of the Rwanda hotel… I didn't grieve, but learned… I always remember the journalist in the film, when he said to the hotel manager: I will not send a video tape about the Rwanda massacres to the media for the people to see…. For the people in my country shall watch it, then say: (oh my Gosh), then go to have dinner, talk, and laugh….
And I remembered my friend from Tanzania, when she told me in an evening, while we were having dinner at the institute: I do not understand these people… We in Africa live in difficult conditions, people die of hunger and diseases, and we are struggling to help them, and improve their conditions, and today, I met an American woman, who came here, she had a gold fish at home, so she hired an employee to look after the fish during her absence here in the institute, the man called her today, and told her the fish died, and I cannot describe to you the shock and sadness that befell the American woman, as she cried for the gold fish….
We fell in to laughter….
I said to her: our hearts are tired from grieving for humans; getting hungry, suffering, getting sick and dying, we think how to help them, and save them, while that woman lives in another world…. The biggest catastrophe in her life, is the death of her fish…
How can she understand what we say?
What does hunger mean, to a sated man, who has never known hunger?
What does fear and sadness mean, to someone who has never lived wars, and the loss of security?
And the irony of it, is that those people's governments are involved in the destruction and devastation that we suffer from….
How do we make them understand?
Some of them do understand, feel, apologize, and want to help….
While some are stupid, and stubborn, like an ox….
What do we do?
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People here in America, as I have seen in my meetings, are two clear types, or perhaps, there is a third type hovering in the middle…
A type like Rick and Mary, and their friends in Washington, working day and night in a campaign to stop the war on Iraq, and to pull out the troops from there. Like Janet, who was my room mate in the institute, a professor of Women Studies in a University, who told me about the past mistakes in the American history, and about the new generations of her students, who are asking questions, and looking for convincing answers. And like Helena, who took me to Boston, and who has a web site, on which she always demands to stop the war on Iraq, always receiving angry and vicious e-mails from Americans. And there is Susan, who works with the Quakers in North Carolina, participating in demonstrations against the war on Iraq, carrying in her car a list of the dead and wounded Iraqi civilians in the war on Iraq, an American flag bearing the word "Peace" in Arabic and English, and the signatures of American men and women who say: we do not want the war.
These people have a clean, live conscience, seeing things, and measuring them like any human outside America, whom the materialistic culture didn't deform their minds, so they kept seeing what is right, and what is wrong, distinguishing between them, and rejecting the wrong… working to stop it, and preventing it from bringing more harm to the whole world….
They see the ugly parts in their country's history, admitting it, and feeling ashamed by it, and they are not less nationalistic than the second type, who strongly denies the idea that there are historical mistakes, and a wrongful path in their country's history, and thus justifying all the ugly deeds; killing the Indians, slavery, the enslavement of Africans, the Hiroshima bomb, Vietnam, the war on Iraq and Afghanistan, interfering in the world countries affairs, pressuring their governments to alter their policies, like the Latin America countries, and like Philippines, Nepal, Korea, Japan, and the Arabic and Islamic Middle East countries….neglecting Africa, and its people in need of development, and advancement, interfering, in public and in secret, in the policies of the governments there.
The second type always thinks that their country is always right, playing the role of GOD, The LORD of all people, and they are proud about that….
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All the people I met were of the first type, the ones who love peace and justice, and when I said good bye, I said to them: Pray for peace in Iraq, and the world…
They said: We will, and we shall work for that purpose…
And I said: Me too, I shall pray, and work…
What is the percentage of these good people, compared to those who support evil on earth, and they don't know?
I do not know….
But GOD shall give victory to his good, faithful worshipers, however much there numbers were..........
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Rick and Mary said, when I said goodbye to them: We want to go back to our house in Baghdad…for our hearts are there, in Baghdad…
I said: I shall keep praying to GOD that peace would come back to Baghdad, so you too shall go back to your house there…
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I face two problems here:
First, that I started thinking with myself in English all the time, so I could arrange my thoughts before the meetings…and that is good for strengthening the language, but also sad; for I love the Arabic language….
And second: I miss the aroma of our culture; the houses, the people, the streets, I miss the sight of mosques, and the sound of Al-Atha'an, (the call for prayer), Allah Akbar… Allah Akbar, (GOD is the Greatest), ringing in the evening, dawn, and noon…to bring peacefulness into the believer's hearts.
I wish to get back soon.......
Peace be upon you all....................
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Translated by May/ Baghdad.