Saturday, June 18, 2005


Monday, May 29th., 2005
its my first day here in the school....
In the morning, there was the first meeting of all participants in the training course, with the teaching staff, and the supporting employees.
On a wall in the Hall, a World map was hanging, and each participant of us was asked to stand before the class, beside the map, and introduce his name, career, organization, where he came from, and show his country on the World map, and what were his activities to become a Peace Builder.
I noticed the people attending were from regions riddled with conflicts like Africa, Asia, the Middle East, or Latin America, spent most their lives under the pressures of the conflicts in their societies. But those of European or North American origins, I saw that most of them worked in different countries around the world as Peace Builders; in Philippines, Nicaragua, Cambodia, Palestine, Georgia, Kosovo, Somalia, and other conflict regions of which perhaps we never heard. Countless countries I cannot remember all…from east of the globe, to west.
Why would these people leave their homes in search to help others?
I was asking myself…
People's lives in devastated countries show their histories full of immigrations and immigrations to different exiles…from Afghanistan to Pakistan, from Rwanda to Borondy, from Bosnia Hertsigovnia towards their neighboring European countries…or from Palestine to Syria, Jordan, or other neighboring countries.
Those poor people didn't choose to immigrate, to live in camps to push away boredom from their lives, or to look for a deeper meaning of life.
But I think that when the western people collide with the truth of their live's emptiness of deep, noble meanings, they go in search of them in other countries, helping other people…their western governments were, in most cases if not all, the reason in destroying those countries, forcing the immigrations of those innocent inhabitants…
What should I say??
I don't know what to say…
There are people here, in the west, who are honest, their consciences are alive, not corrupted yet, who suffer from deep spiritual crisis. I do not want to ridicule or make fun of them; for if I was living in that empty, contradicting culture, which is controlled by capitalism and materialism, that emptied life of its deep, beautiful meanings, I would have ended up with a deep spiritual crisis, like them, and I would have left my country in search of an experience with poor, tortured people on Earth, to help.
On the other hand, there are a lot of men, women, and young people of the poor, crushed, oppressed nations, from old, great cultures and civilizations, who had had an opposite spiritual crises, who hate their roles as victims of the capitalism that knows no mercy, which stole their wealth, ridiculed their cultures, and put them on the margins. Because capitalism is a deformed creature, without a family, bearing grudges against those who live within families that keep principals, and the beautiful concepts that respect life. Capitalism strives in all ways to destroy and shred principals in societies; like religion, civilization, and the customs that give people a referential binding them under an umbrella of its own.
Capitalism doesn't want people to remain under one umbrella…..she always wants to divide them, tearing them apart, leaving them in a sea of darkness, and confusion…..
So those victims ended up wishing they were of those who carry a western passport, or that they could emigrate to the west and live there forever, as the western movies portray life there as an extreme of happiness and joy…and thus the dream of their lives becomes the west, and how to get to it.
I pity those victims…for sooner or latter, they shall discover the lie; that the west isn't that model, happy society on earth…
I came here, but I didn't see happy, nor luxurious people… I saw ordinary people like any other, some of them work, and some are unemployed. Those who have jobs are in terror of the idea that they might lose their jobs one day, for the economic conditions aren't comforting, in spite of the fact that the government depletes the budget in endless wars, in great ventures, under great slogans like: fighting terror, and achieving freedom and democracy on earth.
In the morning lecture we talked about the " conflict". It was portrayed as an Iceberg, the visible part of it is small, while the greater part of it is hidden under the water. And of course, the hidden part carries interests, values, intentions, assumptions, and former old wounds…as for the visible part, it bears only words, minor disagreements, and deductions….
Then we saw a diagram showing the phases of the conflict's growth, from bottom to top:
· The emergence of disagreements. (First phase).
· Arguments.
· A problem.
· Violence
· War. (The last phase).
Then there are the phases of cooling down the conflicts, from top to bottom:
· A cease fire. (First phase).
· Arranging an agreement between the conflicting parties.
· Rebuilding the country.
· Rehabilitating the infra-structure, and everything that benefits people; like education and health.
· Re-establishing the ties, and bridging the gaps between the various factions of society.
I look at that diagram, and see how the disagreements were created between Iraqis; this is a Sunni, this is a Shia'at, this is a Kurd, and this is an Arab. Then the dispute, problems, and violence started, to push the country forcibly towards a civil war.
I see with my mind and eyes that the process of manufacturing conflicts has been going on in Iraq since two years, to push parties towards a civil war..........
There are no peace builders in Iraq now.
In the afternoon, we sat in groups to draw a map of conflicts in various countries, after the display of a model to a conflict in one country, ( the intervention of a foreign country, for example, then a local government, then opposition forces, then, the civic society organizations), and putting the relation between one item with the others.
We divided ourselves into groups; from Africa, Asia, South America, Iraq, or Palestine.
I remained seated alone, for what group would come with me to speak about Iraq?
I was the only one from Iraq.
Then, the manager of the program suggested that I join with a group of Americans to talk about the Iraqi-American conflict. We sat down, and agreed that I would put down the titles of the conflict's components from the Iraqi side, as I saw them, while the American participants would put down the conflict's components from the American side, in their opinion.
We sat down around a table, and divided the board to two sides; one concerning the Iraqi said, and the other concerning the American side , while the supervising professor started drawing circles on the board, each representing a component…
On the Iraqi side we drew:
-(The first group):
· The American government.
· The occupation forces.
· The Iraqi government and supporting Parties.
· The Iraqi National Guards.
· The local media, or others.

-(The second group):
· The Iraqi resistance.
· Al-Zarqawi, (Al-Qaida)

-(The third group):
· The Iraqi people.
· Iraqi Nationalist Groups of independent men and women.
· The civil society organizations.

And I said to them: According to the conflict map, the first group works against the second, targeting it, while the third group is not taking part in the direct conflict, and is trying to calm the situation down, but nobody is responding to it.
And, there are a lot of Iraqis who think that the story of Al-Zarqawi is just a cover-up to destroy the Iraqi resistance, and all who reject the existence of the occupation.
Then, we wrote down the conflict's components in America:
-(The first group):
· The American government.
· The major private companies.
· The media.

-(The second group):
· The American people.
· The civil society organizations.

And they agreed that the first group is controlling the situation, trying to enforce its vision on the second group, who finds its self unable to change the situation.
By the end of the dialogue, I found out that the American people aren't in a better off situation than the Iraqi people. Both were powerless, and the decision lies in the hands of a small bunch, whom war means private interests to them; hidden, and public.
I said to them: America is always bragging, she destroyed us while talking about freedom and democracy, and I see today that you are suffering a lack of freedom and democracy, just like the Iraqi people…..I see that you live in a dilemma in need of explanation…..
Laughter filled the hall…. But I was very upset.
I was in no mood for laughter.
After the end of discussions, and the group's work, we hanged the conflict maps for various regions in the world on the wall, and I saw a common factor in almost all of them…
The USA government was always adorning the map, sitting on its edge like a dark, half circle. It reminded me of something we used to draw when we were kids in school, we used to draw the sun as a half circle of bright yellow, shining on every scene from nature we drew…
What a difference between that beautiful, warm sun, and this dark circle, representing evil…
In the next morning, we had a new lecture about the (needs) of every party in the conflict, and their (fears). The lady who is the manager of the program said that we should be careful and alert in distinguishing between the ( I need), and the (I want) phrases.
The needs are usually basic things; like water, air, food, and freedom.
But in the phrase (I want), enters greed…like : I have a shirt, and I want another. I have possessions, but I want yours.
Again, we were divided into groups, the same groups who drew the conflict map, shall discuss each party's needs and fears.
We entered the same hall in which we had our discussions yesterday…
There were about six Americans, men and women, who will talk about their government's needs from the war on Iraq, and its fears that made her wage the war. And I shall be the one talking about the Iraqis needs, as a nation, and their fears of the existence of an occupying force in their country.

-The American government's needs:
· The wealth in Iraq, (namely: the Oil, as an energy source, that began being scares in the world).
· Dominion, and the proof of power, in the Middle East first, then the whole world.
· Securing a strong economic future for the country.
· Providing security for the country, against outside enemies.
-The American government's fears:
· The weakening and tumble of the economy, if the energy sources were depleted.
· The national security of the people and the state are threatened by terrorist groups, like (Al-Qaida).
· The emergence of competing international forces in the region, besides America.

And the professor stood up and said: these are reasonable reasons and fears for war on Iraq. And we think, and say: from one side, those in the American government are right in providing energy sources for their country, and security for their people. But from another side we think; what about human rights?
I remained silent, watching the great dialogue between the Americans.
Yesterday, the same group agreed with me that the people are oppressed, not knowing what is happening, and that the decision is in the hands of a small bunch of leaderships, who want to assume power, and reap more money…
Today, they put down many points about needs, (which, in my opinion, are not needs, but more in the line of: I want; meaning: greed), and they seemed in agreement as to the logicality of these "needs" and "fears", then, at the margin of the dialogue, they finally remembered the human rights in Iraq.
I can almost see how things get analyzed, when a person becomes lost in choice: between the general principals, and the personal interest??
Then it was my turn, to talk at last about the needs of the Iraqis:
· Their need of freedom and independence.
· Their need of enjoying the wealth of their country, to improve their economic conditions.
· Their need to build the future of their country, by their hands.

And their fears:
· That the wealth of the country would be stolen by private, foreign, investing companies.
· That the military bases would remain in the country, threatening its independence.
· That the coming governments would be dummy governments, without power, and wouldn't fulfill the wishes of the people.
· That the future of Iraq would be dark, as long as there was a foreign force, dominating economically and militerilarly.
By the end of the group's work, I felt very annoyed… that governments could deceive people with the idea of: This war will bring a positive fruit for your future…meaning: raising its people to accept the idea of selfishness, taking opportunities, and sucking other people's blood.
That is the capitalist mentality….use all means to invest your intelligence and abilities, to gain wealth and profits…there are no red lines to block your way… monopolize, no matter what the way is, get other people's wealth. The important thing is the result. You shall be the owner of a wealth, holding decisions in your hands… and when you put your hand on these wealthes, you will control the fate of millions of people…
This is the mentality that knows no mercy, fault, and no principals… perhaps.
For them, principals were made for the weak, and the broke….like the prophets, and philosophers.
As to who owns power and wealth, that would be his way to control…and let principals go to hell.
After this, I could almost hear a demonic laughter, ringing around the whole of earth… where thieves move around now, tightening their grips upon the wealth of the poor, weak millions, who do not have the ability to confront, and change….at least, till this moment….and the thieves wish, dream, and plan, to keep things like this, forever.................
(….and they deploy their cunning, and GOD uses his cunning….and GOD is the best of schemers…..).
Sooner or later….we shall see the end of this story.
Translated by May/Baghdad.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Good Morning..
i have spent the last weekend with my new friend Helena Cobban
she is living in Virginia, but she came to pick me from the campus, and we went to Boston by car , to meet her beautiful young daughter Lorna, and her son Tareq and his very nice girlfriend Liz.
they were very kind with me..and i really appreciate every thing they have done to me.
Helena has web site, she is blogger,
she also wrote books about peace building and Palestinian issue, she was living in Lebanon during the civil war.
Helena and i went to walk by the river in Cambrigde city ( i hope my pronouncing is right) , then we went through Harvard University, then we went to the museum in that town, we found a book about looting the Iraqi museum during this war..
we bought two copies, and we were grateful for the authers to take care of this issue and documented it, iraqi people are now in a dark well, no time to think about what happened to the museum..
thank you my dear Helena..and your lovely family..
wish there will be another chance to meet all of you again..
and wish there will be peace in Iraq, to invite you all to visit Iraq, inshalla
have a nice day !

Good Evening..
still in the school with the class and training course about peace building....
lot of informations and stories from different countries,
my mind is soo tired and busy..
but i have got great benefit from this visit .
if i have still living in iraq, i would never understand what was happening to my country.
here, i understand the reality of the war on iraq.
its very clear, but, still there is lot of ignorant or stubborn who would never open their minds and eyes to recognize what is the truth.
well, let them stay in their deep sleep..
the issue now in the hands of iraqi people..
they are who should defend their human rights and freedom, and independence of their country.
we should never wait for others to come and give help.. or make change to the better.
its our life, our iraq, our future..
every day i believed in this idea more and more..
i will write more details later inshalla , about what i have studied here, and different stories
from different participants .
and before two days i made a presentation about iraq, and told the attendant about how was the life under Saddam Hussain era, then the life during the war days, then the life after more than two years of occupation....
it was a small clarification , about the story of iraqis, since decades, but not the one the people used to hear from biased media..
wish you all good night

Monday, June 13, 2005

Wednesday, June 8th , 2005
These days I am in America, attending a training course about (Peace Building), in an institute near the state of Vermont, eastern USA…
The institution is private, non-governmental, an American lady friend directed me to it, a friend who used to work in Iraq after the war, in a non- governmental organization, financing some women's societies to build up some small projects, like a tailoring workshop, to train Iraqi women in poor neighborhoods.
I respect this woman very much, because she isn't one of the "Women's rights" seekers in Iraq, nor domestic violence, human rights, democracy, and the other vocabularies of the western governments, who " over-used" these words, thus harming them in a cheap way. Whenever I called her, I feel her voice breaking, and her heart squeezing in pain for Iraq, and what is happening there. Of course she left Iraq because of the bad security conditions there, wishing to get back to it as soon as possible, to help people…
And I always tell her: when Iraq is once more basking in peace, security, and independence, you shall come to visit us there, by the will of GOD.
Anyway, this institution lives in a different world from the American government's, and the subjects taught there discusses the conflicts and their types in the world countries, offering solutions about how to deal with every one of them, and how to look for those solutions…(of course, all is in theory, but I do believe that a believer seeks wisdom, feeling happy whenever he finds it, no matter what the source is).
And while the American government is usually, and historically, involved, and is the cause of many wars and conflicts in various countries, I ask myself daily: why wouldn't they send their leaders first to an institution like this one, to learn how to build peace among nations?
Hummm… difficult questions in a funny, contradicting time…the country that wages the wars, is the same one to host peace-teaching institutions!
This country lives a true crisis…the conflict between theory, and practice.
What do they tell the world about freedom, and world human rights, and what do they implement of these, according to their moods?
It seems that the theory says: Oh, Well, all is up to the case, or the mood; meaning- it depends!
And there is a crisis among the new generation, and what they read of a shameful history committed by the old generations. The stories of the annihilation of the native inhabitants, the racial segregation, slavery, the Hiroshima bomb, the war on Vietnam, then Afghanistan, then Iraq….
All these are complicated stories, old and new, but in need of frank answers.
And this is a true crisis among the theories of freedom and democracy; are they for all humans? Or are they the privileges of a pampered minority, like the American people, and let the others go to hell?
Those Americans who still retain clean, live, and unbiased consciences see the picture clear, shameful, and puzzling… but how to solve it? What is the appropriate way to get out of this dilemma?
Oh, yes…this nation suffers a clear conscience-concerning dilemma …and there must be a self-trial for what the governments of this nation committed, and how they gained the agreement of their people, or convinced them with the legitimacy of their evil acts?
And the people will pay the price, sooner or latter…
Not only is the American government hated and rejected all over the world…but the American people are paying the price of their government's mistakes when they face the hostility of the nations they visit, in Europe, Asia, Africa, and South America… while the government is planting in their heads the notion that: they are jealous and envious of you??
What losing, unsuccessful justifications, that a big percentage of the American people themselves no longer believe them.
Anyway, I decided to pay the traveling expanses and the training course from the family's pocket. And I asked GOD to grant me an easy journey, if it would be any good to Iraq, and the Iraqis.
I want nothing for myself… I want only answers for questions that destroyed me, nagging in my mind since the beginning of the war on Iraq, till now…..
What happened to us? And why?
What is our future?
How do we get out of this impasse?
And when I came here…I started to see clearly what the answers to my questions would be…
I am here since one week or so, and shall remain for two weeks, by the will of GOD, till I finish my classes, then I shall travel to other states to meet anti-war on Iraq groups, to tell them what is happening in Iraq, from an independent Iraqi view point, which has nothing to do with Saddam Hussein, nor with the new parties that entered Iraq under the American canopy, or on an American tank… those who beautify and sweeten the portrait of occupation, giving the idea that it is the only way to build Iraq all over again…. These parties have no legitimacy…the occupation gave them legitimacy, as they gave it legitimacy.
I always believe that legitimacy belongs to those Iraqis who lived in Iraq, and the new government should be formed from them, because they were the ones who suffered, endured, lived through wars, embargo, hunger, and injustice, and they didn't play the hypocrite, nor climbed up on top of others, or betray, they didn't applaud the occupation because it presented them with a personal revenge against Saddam and those with him, or for achieving some personal, selfish interests for them, granting them the positions the power, and the right to plunder the nation's money. Those who do not agree to the destruction of Iraq's future, to making it a poor colony, under an empire who lives by sucking the blood and wealth of miserable, weak nations….
All the Iraqis whose hands were not stained by steeling, plundering, and injustice, are the ones who have the right to build Iraq's future, and decide the fate of Iraq's wealth, for this wealth is a property, and the pure right to Iraq's people, and none other… this is the justice in which we believe, and I don't think there is someone who believes the stories about the necessity of giving the international companies the rights to invest Iraq's natural wealth, or the necessity of the foreign occupation forces remaining in Iraq, to guarantee the stability and security…for we have lost stability and security since they entered Iraq……that is what the daily life's events have been proving for more than two years now…..
I have been asking myself everyday, perhaps along with many Iraqis like me: Is it a coincidence, what happened in Iraq? Was it a reaction to some bad deed we committed?
Is what is happening in Iraq since the war; the disasters, the accumulation of negative events of killings, violence, and sectarian conflicts, a coincidence? Or is it bad planning?
Or is it a confusion from the American administration?
(Poor things…perhaps they love us, only they don't know how to handle the matter!!).
I was naïve enough to think like this, like many other simple Iraqis who were not members of parties, nor had the experience and understanding of what was happening.
But today, I re-read the history of two years again…after what accumulated with me of stories and experiences that opened my eyes, so I am no longer the naïve, well intentioned creature who doesn't understand what's going on around her…as is the case generally with nations.
I will write diaries about the lessons we took, the lectures, the theories about conflicts in society, how to escalate and increase it, and how to cool it down, and put it under control.
Then, how to draw a map of the conflict in society, and the parties involved in that conflict.
Then, the explaining and clarification of each party's needs, and his fears against the other.
How to build the culture of peace, and non-violence, and how to build the culture of tolerating the other. How to build a dialogue.
There are also the studies of the contemporary conflicts in the world, we have about 70 participants from all over the world, (Asia, Africa, Latin America, the Middle East, and European Asia), and they are all required to submit answers to these questions:
* Clarify the Americium military role in your region, and its influence upon it.
* Clarify the American and European economic role, and that of the Asian economic group, like Japan and china.
* Human rights and democracy, what are they? And how are they dealt with in each country.
The participants worked through groups, presenting amazing and honest illustrations of what is happening in their countries, which the media doesn't usually mention.
Here, I listened to the true story of each country, without lies, nor touch-ups, in most of the cases, because the participants were from non-governmental organizations, they were the people, talking with the spontaneity of the people, without lies, hypocrisy, nor playing with words.
I tell you; this training course taught me a lot, which I wouldn't have learned if I stayed in Baghdad, turning my head left and right like a fool, or reading the lying, poisonous newspapers, Arabic, or non-Arabic, or listening to radio and TV. Channels, Arabic, or non-Arabic… For they all became the same color usually, and the miserable citizen is always the targeted victim, for a brain wash.
I shall not call them publicity Media from now on…. Hahaha…
But the daily lying and brain-wash Machines...
But that who decides to get away from it, and its poisons…shall escape…and shall find other sources to learn the truth… the important thing is; that he shall always pray to GOD to open his eyes, and show him the truth…as I did, in my experience after the war on Iraq…
And I believe in the idea that: If you insisted upon looking for the truth, you shall undoubtedly find it.
And if you were a lazy fool, believing whatever you hear…well, then, that is your problem!
after attending the classes, I understood exactly what happened to Iraq, and in what path they are leading it.
And what is the future they want for it…
I now have a clear vision of almost everything, and answers to all questions…
Thank GOD, whom we do not praise but HIM….
And peace be upon you all……
Translated by May/Baghdad.

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