A Family in Baghdad

Thursday, June 16th, 2005
Good evening…

Tomorrow, Friday, shall be our last day of classes, then we will leave the campus on Saturday morning, some of us to go home, others to some other state to see relatives or friends, while some will remain to continue the Masters program…
As for me, I shall remain for another week in other states, to meet some groups of people and talk about Iraq, war, and the future…
I am still hesitating in starting the Masters, for I think it requires staying "online" for a year, studying, then traveling to a country with a post-war society, remaining for a week there, like Rwanda, or one of the South American countries…
For me, going back to Baghdad is more important than anything, working there with local organizations, or independent nationalist groups, of men and women, is the best experience, better than the Masters. But I will keep on thinking seriously about studying; if it helps me to present help to the people in Iraq, I shall continue to study, but if it has nothing but boring theories, I won't go….
I always ask GOD to help me choose what is best…
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My head is tired with the lot of the stories I heard, and the lessons I took along with the participants. I wish I will have enough time to tell them all to you…
I miss going home to my house and family again, and I am sorry for leaving the people I met here, most of whom, if not all, were nice to me, and treated me respectfully.
In the beginning, some of them were hesitant, looking at me suspiciously, and worriedly, especially those from North America, for to them, I was a veiled Muslim, therefore I was an aggressive terrorist, wishing death for all!
But by the passage of time, while I mixed with them in class, cafeteria, or the library, we got used to each other, and the barrier of fear and suspicion was broken…and we spoke and laughed like members of one family.
After my presentation about Iraq, which was attended by people from the institute and outside of it … I saw that people moved much closer to me…even the suspicious and fearful, came to shake my hand warmly, thanking me for giving them an idea of what is happening in Iraq, different from what they usually hear in the Media…
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In the beginning, my friend Mary spoke, an American who used to work in Iraq with a humanitarian organization; she was against the war on Iraq from the beginning. Then they had to leave Iraq because of the bad security conditions.
Mary said that the war was harsh on people; the malnutrition rates in children, and the poverty rates both rose up, the events of Fallujah were cruel and unjust, dislodging families, and the town isn't build until now, they gave people some compensations which weren't enough to repair the houses, buy furniture, or get back to normal life, the American army is present, building bases, and refuses the idea of withdrawing…
Mary spoke like any Iraqi, hurt for what is happening in Iraq…I felt her more of an Iraqi than some stupid, ignorant, or beneficiary Iraqis, who supported the war, and didn't admit till now to its negative side, that is destroying people's lives, now, and in future….
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I sorted my thoughts, and asked GOD to help me clarify the picture calmly….
I said to the audience: I will talk about our life in the times of Saddam Hussein, during the air raids, the fall of the state, then, in the two years after the war….
In Saddam's time, there was no freedom to talk about politics, no participations of other parties, no activities…as much as you could live far away from Saddam and those around him, you could have a peaceful, normal life.
I left Iraq since 1976, when I graduated from University, and got married, I lived in Lebanon, Jordan, and Saudi Arabia with my husband and our boys…we are both engineers, and worked for different companies.
I went back to Iraq after the Kuwait war, in 1991, I saw a destroyed country, not like the one I left at the end of the seventies, when Iraq was living its golden days; new, wide avenues, modern, beautiful bridges, 5-stars hotels, new residential districts, and people living in luxury… Saddam Hussein wasn't the president then…
But somehow, he took over power, and within months, he waged the war against Iran.
Why was there a war against Iran? Was it for the benefit of the Iraqi people?
We all know that the American government was his partner in that war, supplying him with weapons to fight Iran, and he used Chemical weapons against them, and against the Kurds… but the American government didn't speak against him, nor show his faults…
Then, the war ended, and the Iraqis had barely taken some breaths, when he attacked Kuwait, under the pretext that they stole the Iraqi oil money… the Iraqis didn't like what happened, they weren't willing to get involved in a new war…
The American war planes came on, and destroyed Iraq, as a whole… they destroyed the infrastructure; water, electricity, communications…government offices, factories, bridges…
They left nothing….
Then, the American government persuaded the world, or rather, forced it, to agree to, and implement the idea of an embargo against Iraq…
From 1991 till 2003, and Iraq was under an embargo… not enough medicines, no communications with the world, no development in education, health, or in any services. Everything deteriorated, as if frozen, or dead, in the life of Iraq.
And, of course, who was hurt most by the embargo? Was it Saddam and his family? They lived in luxury, richness, happily in high palaces…while the people starved, from hunger, sadness, injustice, and repression… Saddam wasn't the only unjust person…the whole world let the Iraqis down, and was unjust to them.
Then, the play of the Mass Destruction Weapons and the search for it started, then, the events of September 2001, and Iraq's name was thrust in the conflict. We all wondered: what have we to do with Al-Qaida, or the bombings in New York? Why should we pay the price of someone else's mistakes?
The war drew near, and the Iraqis were in confusion… they said: oh, well, let the war come, maybe there is some who want to save us from the hell we' re in; the hell of losing hope, and the constant deterioration in our lives, and the continuing economic embargo that is throttling the country.
And the war came on; our houses shook from the daily air raids, they hit water, electricity, communications…and we were under raids, terror, and bewilderment. We had a generator, and a Satellite receiver, and on the Arabic channels we saw someone saying: The American government is signing the contracts of rebuilding Iraq with companies like Picktell and Haliperton…we opened our mouths in amazement: who gave them the right to be the representatives of the Iraqi people, to sign contracts?? In World War II, the legal governments of England, Germany, France, and other European countries after the war, signed the contracts of their re-building, so, what is happening in Iraq?
Then, after the country fell, on the first or second day, we saw on Satellite TV. Channels, the Iraqi museum being robbed, and what was left of its antiquities destroyed…and there was someone who entered the National Library and burned it, with all its contents of old books and valuable historical documents….
And we wondered: Are we, the Iraqis, who did this to our history and heritage?
Then, we saw the American army go to Saddam's palaces, break the doors, and call to the poor and unemployed: Come on, get in, Ali Baba; meaning: let's play thieves… and the poor and ignorant people rushed in, and plundered all…while the photographer's lenses broadcasted those horrible, shameful pictures to the world. We cried at home, saying: NO, this isn't our Iraq, and those aren't Iraqis.
But the idea got to the whole world to say: this is a barbarian people who couldn't handle their own affairs!
Then, Premer came along to say: Kick out the Ba'athis from employment!
And we all know that most Ba'athis joined the party out of fear, for they couldn't get jobs as official employees, teachers, or university professors unless they joined the party…
The streets became full of posters saying: Uprooting the Ba'ath…
And the seeds of separation and hate were planted among Iraqis…
Then, months later, the story of Sunnies- Shia'ats- Kurds- Arabs started…they divided Iraq into geographical regions, convincing the Shia'ats and Kurds the Sunnies did them an injustice, by ruling the country, and it was time to get their revenge…
The debate started about sectarian shares that should be maintained in future elections…chaos reigned in the country…people started disputing and discussing the right and wrong of that idea….
Then, came the attack on Fallujuah, people believing the notion that the Ba'athis, and the supporters of Saddam want to ruin the country, so, let the occupation forces go to fight them and eliminate them, so security would be regained in the country…
And so, Fallujuah was bombed, and destroyed; families were evicted, people were killed, men were forbidden to leave town, only women and children. They said that all the men there were terrorists deserving to die…. The marine snipers stood up, and killed any live creature moving in the streets….
And the story of Fallujuah wasn't done yet; they went back there again, and finished bombing it and destroying what was left of it, they forbid the press from moving inside the town, but we all saw the film about shooting the wounded in Mosques, or shooting house and commercial shops with fire in a random way, without any evidence of a hostile firing…
How shall we be convinced that the future of Iraq will be bright, if we let them kill our brothers and sisters?
The same play was repeated later in Al-Qa'aim, Hadeetha, and other Iraqi towns….
And there is the endless story of Al-Zarqawi….after each offensive they say: Oh, we found his assistant, or his personal computer, but there are endless chases…and of course, new victims…
There are always some trapped cars, we don't know who was its source, killing civilians…
The American army started taking the men of the new Iraqi Army along with him, to attack the houses of the Iraqi civilians, and to arrest them, thus starting a hate wave in the country against them, for people started asking: is this new Iraqi Army with or against us?
The scandal of Abu-Ghareeb prison shocked the Iraqis, they said: so, are these the Human Rights? Are these freedom and democracy for Iraq?
The American army is building numerous military bases, uncountable ….refusing the idea of announcing a time table of the forces withdrawal… and there are some who are marketing the ideas of Privatization, Free Economy, and Private Companies…the people are frightened, wondering: What is the future of Iraq? How much independence shall we own?
The last elections weren't clear, or transparent. The leaders of the new parties; religious or non- religious, deluded people that their participation in the elections is the way to get rid of the occupier…and people went to vote…
The new government spent 3 months of its life, (which is supposed to be 9 months); fighting for the distribution of posts and power seats….and people were lost, wondering: Where are the priorities? Where are security, settlement, job opportunities, and the country building?
People are tired, complaining, but nobody cares about them…
We no longer trust anyone…the robberies and official corruption became a public every-day story…
In Premer's time, $ 9 billion of the Iraqi people's money were lost, no one claming responsibility for… some ministers are stealing millions of the people's money, running away to live in countries adjacent to Iraq, and no one is questioning or punishing them…
This is Iraq today….as if we are living in the heart of a dark tunnel… of which we do not know when we shall get out, to the light….
Some Americans ask me: We feel ashamed of what our government has done, how can we help you?
And I say to them: You can not help us, from here to Iraq…just pressure your government from where you are, to get out of Iraq, and to pull out the army, and we shall manage our affairs there…
Here I studied about building peace…and realized that your government did nothing in Iraq but build conflict, dispute, hate, and violence among people, to justify the presence of its forces there….
I do believe that future is made by people…..
The future of Iraq is in the hands of Iraqis, the future of your country is in your hands, and it is your responsibility to think how to achieve change in the policy of your government…..
Peace be upon you all.....................
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The hall roared with applause, people stood up for seconds to applaud…
I went to a corner…drank some water…I felt like my mouth was dry, for how long I spoke about the sad history of Iraqis…
My friends from many countries came there to greet me, saying: Well done.
I felt glad, and satisfied, because I delivered bits of our real life story, which people outside of Iraq do not usually know…
Some of my friends said: We were worried about you, we expected you to burst into tears any moment…
I said to them: Do not worry about me…I have cried enough since the war, and perhaps before the war… now it is time to think about the future of Iraq….I do not want to think about the past, or cry upon it… I only told you about it so you could understand where we are now? What mishaps have befallen us, and how we were patient about them… so you would know who the Iraqis are.
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Every day, I remember a poem by Al-Shabee, (one of the genius poets of this nation), may GOD be merciful to him, and I repeat it with my self:
If the people ever wanted to live
Destiny must comply…
The night must disperse…
And the bond must surly break….
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Translated by May/Baghdad.