A Family in Baghdad

Good morning,
those words below, are from an American reader, not from me.
sad America, where are you going , in what direction?
Faiza

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I just finished reading your last blog. Your words penetrate my heart. You are very well spoken. My heart cries out when i read your words.

Here in America, things are getting worse by the day. Each day we read about how yet another major company is down sizing and laying off people. High oil prices are literally bringing down the economy here in the states. I wonder what is the reason for high oil prices? Could it be the OPEC nations have had enough of Bush and his policies? My faith in the American people is dwindling each day as the gap betwn McCain and Obama is narrowing. I can't believe Americans would vote for McSame.

Americans houses are being foreclosed by the thousands each day all across America. Our stock market is tumbling and oil prices become higher each day and companies closing up and moving overseas or to Mexico.

Bush has made a mess out of Iraq and now the United States. Band aids are not big enough or strong enough to put on the bleeding wounds of these countries Bush and his cronies have managed to destroy. Food Banks in Arizona are asking citizens to donate food as the food has run out to feed the hunger and the poor.

McCain says the US will be in Iraq for 100 years. Why are they there? What have they accomplished other than literally destroy Iraq and its infrastructure and its people.

I pray for you all the time and for your family, friends and for the people of Iraq and in hopes one day, Iraq can go back to its peaceful way of life with no interference from outsiders, I.e. America.
Amen,.....

Friday, June 20, 2008
Peace be upon you…

I don't know why sometimes the disturbing news pile upon me, unsettling my mood. I long very much for Baghdad; I wish I can book a one-way ticket to her, tear up my passport, and remain to live and work there, till death comes to claim me….
By God I am tired of being away, from the hard daily work, from seeing the anguish of the Iraqis here everyday, and I cannot help everybody…
I mean; if it was a matter of 50 or a 100 Dinnars, I can help, but thousands of Dinnars are needed for treatment of children, men, and women; and this I cannot provide, after some organizations here abandoned us; organizations that used to give free medical treatment or cover the cost of some operations. But now the UNHCR is announcing frankly in its monthly meetings with the organizations working with it, that the financing has stopped for any projects concerning the Iraqi refugees.
And no one knows the reason why? Is it a political pressure by America against the Humanitarian organizations, so they would pull out their hands from Iraq?
To force the Iraqis into what is called- the voluntary return to their homeland, despite the lack of sufficient security and settlement till now.
The Iraqi Prime Minster, Noori Al-Maliki, came to Amman a week ago, and held a news conference in a grand hotel in Amman. I heard the news from a journalist and the reporter of an Iraqi satellite station who interviewed me last week, to speak about the Iraqis' suffering in Jordan. They both said, separately, that the Iraqi Prime Minster asked for the return of the Iraqis from Jordan to Iraq, saying that the government is prepared to give ID. (1,000,000) to each family, something equal to about US$ (800).
The Iraqi families denounce this talk when they hear it; they do not like it. They say- how do we go back to the state of no security? No water supply, no electricity, and no jobs? What would the $ (800) do for us? We sold our houses, we emigrated from Iraq, and now we have nothing there. This sum of money would pay the rent of an empty house for a few months, then what? What shall we eat, what shall we drink? How shall we mange our lives there? From here we call our kin and relatives inside Iraq, and they say to us- Do not come back! If the life there was better, they would have advised us to return…..
We want a real commitment from the government, to ensure the return of the displaced inside Iraq to their houses and their areas, to provide security, services, and jobs for them, so they can have a decent life in their homeland.
And how can the government ask the Iraqis in Jordan, Syria and Egypt to return to Iraq, while it hasn’t solved the problem of the internally displaced?
How can we believe that the situation has improved?
If those displaced inside Iraq returned to their towns and their conditions settled, now that would be a positive indication to the government's credibility, and the Iraqis living in the neighboring countries will return when they see positive encouraging results on the ground… but now, even with all the suffering and the anguish, we do not think of going back; a least here there is security, water, and electricity…
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And I also talk about some families I met here, who are waiting to be re-settled; some of them see this as a temporary solution until Iraq gets back to the state of security and settlement, while others despaired of the improvement in Iraq's conditions, but they all say- our eyes and hearts will keep on watching Iraq, and we will get back as soon as things get better; we do not believe there is a country anywhere more beautiful than Iraq….

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I am amazed by the Iraqis' love of Iraq…
When I sit with them, every person and every family, in separate meetings, no one knows about the other, but there is one common theme pulsing in their hearts, as if they have all agreed upon it among them…
Praise to God… Muslim, Christian, Baptist or Yazeedi, they all say the same words, complain about the same wound… Praise to God who united us on the land of Iraq, to the love of Iraq, and the grief about what happened to it…
And this amazing mixture of people lived together for thousands of years, they had an old, deep, common civilization since the dawn of history………. Many religions and various cultures lived on the land of Iraq, forming this beautiful mixture of people, who got accustomed to living together through the sweet and the bitter… wars, sanction, hunger, poverty and deprivation, until the last war came in 2003; which dedicated the ripping and tearing of this social, cultural and religious fabric, a fabric that survived for thousands of years in a tight solidity from the roots…
Iraq is going now through one of the worst experience in Iraq's life; a big dilemma that will either break it completely, or, Iraq might emerge from it strong, like the phoenix of the mythology, that will rise from the ashes every time; strong, soaring, like it is created all anew. And that is exactly what I hope will happen one day….

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The agonies of the families here are countless… poverty, hunger and deprivation; by lack of finances, lack of food and medical services, patients who come from Iraq with diseases, most of which are cancerous, and the costs of treatment here are disastrous in private hospitals. These people suffer from the shortage of finances to cover the treatment costs, and I personally feel that with them I have lost some face; as I sent e-mails or phone calls asking for financial aid to cover treatment costs for this and that. And then I hear news about some Iraqis who drown themselves in nightclubs, dancing, drinking, and corruption, spending thousands of dollars every night on such silly matters, and say to my self: So; God is our aid, and He is enough.
What is happening to the world? Are we passing a phase of losing noble values and an absence of conscience? Where did this hard-heartedness and indifference come from?
I do not know…
Sometimes I imagine the world is closing down on me, and my chest tightens…. I wish I can find a forest or an island in a far-off ocean to live in, and forget about these tiring creatures called- humans; I no longer have common points with them…. But my sorrow for the poor and the needy prevents me from running away, forcing me into the commitment to remain and help them; knocking on all doors, not to abandon them…
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By day, I am busy working, busy with reports, receipts of the project, and telephone calls with different branches to make sure how the project is going on. I get home very exhausted, with no mood to talk about any subject…
And by night I lie in my bed and think with myself:
Um Mohammed came from Basra with her 26-year-old son, he has a tumor in the neck; an advanced case of tissue cancer. She suffered here and we suffered with her, while we searched for a donor to cover the costs of the chemical treatment, the x-rays, the chemical analysis, and the examinations.
Um Mohammed's father in law came from Baghdad a week ago; he has a gland in the liver that needs to be removed, the operation requires thousands of dollars, of which they do not own even one, and I don't, either. I don't know; maybe he'll die waiting for a donation.
Um Ahmed's husband was kidnapped at his front door, 3 years and 3 months ago, he is possibly in an Iraqi-government's prison; I seek someone to help us locate him…
A blind old man's family went back to Baghdad and left him alone. I help him monthly to pay the house rent, but I know that his wife and daughters there in Baghdad suffer hunger and poverty; I cannot help them, I do not have super financial means to cover the expenses of all the needy…
Um Salam, a widow with four small children, the elder is no more than 12 years old. How will she raise them? And life here is like an inferno, because of the high prices; she awaits the approval for re-settlement, but she doubts they will agree to her request, because her husband and her brothers used to work at the Iraqi Interior Ministry in Saddam's time…
Isn't there any pure- humanity, for the sake of God? Must politics always interfere to spoil everything? What harm did this woman and her children do?
There is a number of Iraqi women who are alone without families; whose husbands or families were killed and they remained alone, waiting to be re-settled. They face improper advances and molestation by this and that, looking towards a life more dignified and more settled, in some spot in this world.
At work, I daily receive women who were beaten and treated cruelly by their husbands. Poverty is the reason in most cases; or the frustration that befalls the man because of poverty and unemployment; they turn him into a wild, cruel, and aggressive creature. This is what happens to some Iraqi families here; the conditions of displacement, poverty, estrangement and degradation all put pressure on the men and the women and increase the rate of family violence…
Some women also come to complain about their husband's bad manners, being alcoholics, beating wives and children, or molesting their daughters. God help us; He is our aid, and He is enough…
Are these the signs for the end of time, of the dooms day? That the world has lost its mind, its ethics, its mercy, justice, and all its beautiful features?
I, personally, am tired, but I didn't lose hope that some people still exist in this world who form a beautiful face to it…
They are a minority, no doubt, but they still exist……… perhaps one in every thousand….
And thank God for every thing… We ask Him to support us, give us strength, and help us to do what He would be satisfied with, on this earth…
Amen……
And I still wish to find a forest or an island to escape to sometimes, so my soul would rest from the burden of thinking of all these disasters every day........

الجمعه 20 حزيران 2008
السلام عليكم...
لا أدري لماذا تتراكم علي احيانا الاخبار المزعجة ويتعكر مزاجي , وينتابني شوق شديد الى بغداد , اتمنى ان أحجز تذكرة بإتجاه واحد الى هناك, وأمزق جواز سفري, وأبقى أعيش وأعمل هناك حتى يأتيني ملك الموت....
والله تعبت من الغربه , والعمل اليومي الشاق, ورؤية عذابات العراقيين هنا كل يوم , ولا أقدر أن أساعد الجميع..
يعني لو مسألة 50 دينار او 100 دينار ممكن أساعد , لكن الاف الدنانير مطلوبه لعلاج اطفال او رجال او نساء, هذا لا يمكن توفيره , بعد ان تخلت هنا منظمات كانت تعطي علاج مجاني او تغطي تكاليف بعض العمليات , اما الان فالمفوضيه تعلن بصراحه في اجتماعاتها الشهريه مع المنظمات التي تعمل معها, ان التمويل توقف لأي مشاريع تخص العراقيين اللاجئين, ولا أحد يدري ما السبب ؟
هل هو ضغوط سياسية من اميركا ضد المنظمات الانسانية لترفع يدها عن العراق؟
وتجبر العراقيين على ما يسمى العودة الطوعيه الى بلادهم رغم عدم وجود الأمان والاستقرار بما يكفي لحد الان.
رئيس الوزراء العراقي نوري المالكي حضر الى عمان قبل اسبوع , وعمل مؤتمرا صحفيا في فندق فخم بعمان , ووصلت لي الاخبار عن طريق صحافي ومندوب محطة فضائية عراقية قابلوني الاسبوع الماضي من أجل الحديث عن معاناة العراقيين في الاردن.
وقال الاثنان , كل على حدة , ان رئيس الوزراء العراقي طلب عودة العراقيين من الاردن الى العراق, وقال ان الحكومة مستعدة ان تقدم مبلغ مليون دينار عراقي لكل عائله وهو ما يساوي 800 دولار امريكي
العوائل العراقية حين يسمعون هذا الكلام يستنكرونه ولا يعجبهم , يقولون كيف نرجع الى حالة لا أمان ؟ لا ماء لا كهرباء ولا وظائف ؟
وماذا ستفعل لنا 800 دولار؟
بعنا بيوتنا وهاجرنا من العراق والان لا نملك شيئا هناك, هذا المبلغ سيدفع ايجار بيت فارغ لعدد قليل من الشهور, ثم ماذا سنأكل ماذا سنشرب؟
كيف سنتدبر أمور حياتنا هناك؟
من هنا نتصل بأهلنا واقاربنا في الداخل ويقولون لا ترجعوا !
لو كانت الحياة أفضل كانوا نصحونا بالرجوع .....
نريد من الحكومه التزاما حقيقيا بتأمين عودة المهجرين في الداخل الى بيوتهم ومناطقهم , وتوفير الامان لهم , والخدمات , والوظائف, حتى تتوفر لهم الحياة الكريمه في وطنهم.
وكيف يمكن للحكومة ان تسأل العراقيين في الاردن وسوريا ومصر ان يعودوا الى العراق , وهي لم تحل مشكلة المهجرين داخليا؟
كيف نصدق ان الوضع قد تحسن؟
اذا عاد المهجرون داخليا الى مدنهم واستقر وضعهم, هذا سيكون مؤشر ايجابي على مصداقية الحكومه, وسيعود العراقيون الذين يعيشون في دول الجوار حين يرون نتائج ايجابيه مشجعه على الارض...
أما الان فرغم كل العذاب والمعاناة لا نفكر بالعودة , على الاقل هنا أمان وماء وكهرباء ...
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وايضا لو أتكلم عن عوائل قابلتها هنا تنتظر إعادة التوطين , البعض منهم يرى هذا حلا مؤقتا حتى يرجع العراق الى حالة الأمان والاستقرار, والبعض يئس من تحسن حال العراق ,
لكنهم جميعا يقولون ستظل عيوننا وقلوبنا تراقب العراق, وسنعود فورأن تتحسن الاحوال, لا نصدق ان ثمة وطن أجمل من العراق....

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يذهلني حب العراقيين للعراق..
عندما أجلس معهم , كل شخص او عائله , في لقاءات منفردة لا أحد يعرف الآخر, لكن ثمة نغمة واحدة مشتركه, تنبض في قلوبهم كأنهم قد اتفقوا عليها مسبقا...
سبحان الله..
مسلم او مسيحي او صابئي أو يزيدي, كلهم يتكلمون بنفس الكلمات, ويشتكون من نفس الجرح...
سبحان من جمعنا على أرض العراق, وحب العراق, والحزن على ما حصل له ...
وهذا الخليط العجيب من البشر, عاشوا معا منذ الاف السنين , ولهم حضارة مشتركه عميقة قديمه منذ فجر التاريخ ..........
أديان كثيرة وثقافات متعددة عاشت على أرض العراق, وكونت هذا الخليط الجميل من البشر, الذين تعودوا ان يعيشوا معا على الحلوة والمرة ... حروب وحصار وجوع وفقر وحرمان , حتى جاءت الحرب الاخيرة 2003 والتي كرست التقسيم والتمزيق لهذا النسيج الاجتماعي والثقافي والديني الذي عاش الاف السنين في تماسك شديد من الجذور ...
العراق الان يمر ضمن واحدة من أسوأ التجارب في حياته , ومحنه كبيرة إما ان تحطمه تماما أويخرج منها قويا مثل طائر العنقاء في الاساطير , كل مرة ينهض من الرماد , قويا محلقا كأنه خلق من جديد, وهذا تماما ما اتمناه ان يحدث يوما ما في العراق....
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وعذابات العوائل هنا , لا تعد ولا تحصى..
بين فقر وجوع وحرمان من قلة الموارد وقلة الطعام والخدمات الصحية , الى مرضى يحضرون من العراق بأمراض معظمها سرطانيه , واسعار العلاج هنا كارثيه في المستشفيات الخاصة , وهؤلاء يشكون من قلة ما يملكون من أموال لتغطية تكاليف العلاج, وأنا شخصيا أشعر أنني فقدت معهم شيئا من ماء وجهي وأنا ارسل ايميلات او لاتصل تلفونات اطلب مساعدات ماليه لتغطية نفقات علاج هذا وذاك.
وتصلني اخبار عراقيين يغرقون في النوادي الليلية والرقص والخمر والفساد, ويصرفون الاف الدولارات كل ليله على هذه السخافات , واقول في نفسي حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل.
ماذا يحدث للعالم؟
هل نمر بمرحلة فقدان القيم النبيله وغياب الضمير ؟
وهذه القسوة في القلوب واللامبالاة من أين جاءت ؟
لا أدري...
احيانا أتخيل أن الدنيا تضيق علينا , ويضيق صدري ....
أتمنى لو أجد غابة اوجزيرة في محيط بعيد , أعيش فيها , وأنسى هذه المخلوقات المتعبه من البشر, ما عاد ثمة أشياء مشتركه بيني وبينهم....
لكن حزني على الفقراء والمحتاجين يمنعني من الهروب ويجبرني على الالتزام بالبقاء لمساعدتهم, أطرق كل الابواب , ولا أتخلى عنهم...
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في النهار يشغلني العمل والتقارير والفواتير والتلفونات مع الفروع حتى اتأكد كيف يسير المشروع , ارجع للبيت مرهقه لا مزاج عندي للكلام حول أي موضوع...

وفي المساء أستلقي على فراشي وأفكر مع نفسي:
أم محمد جاءت من البصرة مع ولدها عمره 26 سنه عنده ورم في الرقبه , سرطان متقدم في الالياف, تعذبت هنا وتعذبنا معها ونحن نبحث عن متبرع لتغطية تكاليف العلاج الكيميائي والاشعات والتحاليل والفحوصات.
أم محمود جاء والد زوجها من بغداد قبل اسبوع وعنده غدة في الكبد ويحتاج عملية استئصال , تحتاج الاف الدولارت , لا يملكون منها الفا واحدا ولا أنا ايضا, لا أدري ربما سيموت وهو ينتظر متبرعين.
ام احمد زوجها خطفوه من باب البيت قبل 3 سنين و3 شهور, ويحتمل انه موجود في سجون الحكومه العراقية, ابحث عمن يساعدنا لنجده ...
الشيخ الضرير عائلته رجعت لبغداد وتركته وحده , أساعده شهريا في ايجار البيت لكنني اعلم ان زوجته وبناته هناك ببغداد يعانون من الجوع والحاجه , لا أقدر على مساعدتهم , لا أملك امكانيات ماديه خارقه لتغطية مصاريف كل المحتاجين...
أم سلام أرمله مع اربعة أطفال صغار, كبيرهم لا يتجاوز 12 سنة , كيف ستربيهم ؟
والحياة هنا مثل الجحيم من كثرة ارتفاع الاسعار , وهي تنتظر الموافقه على إعادة التوطين لكنها تشك انهم سيوافقون عليها لان زوجها واخوانها كانوا يعملون في وزارة الداخليه العراقية زمن صدام...
الا توجد انسانية صافية لوجه الله ؟
دائما تدخل السياسة لتخرب كل شيء؟
ما ذنب هذه واطفالها ؟

ثمة عدد من نساء عراقيات وحيدات بلا عوائل , قتل ازواجهن أو اهلهن وبقين وحيدات وينتظرن اعادة التوطين, ويتعرضن كل يوم للاستغلال والتحرش من هذا وذاك , وينتظرن حياة اكثر كرامة واكثر استقرار في بقعة ما من هذا العالم.

في العمل ,تأتي يوميا نساء معنفات مضروبات من ازاوجهن , ومعظم الاحيان الفقر هو السبب , او الاحباط الذي يصيب الرجل بسبب البطاله والفقر , يحوله الى مخلوق متوحش قاسي وشرس, هذا ما يحدث لبعض العوائل العراقية هنا, ظروف التهجير والفقر والغربه والمذله كلها تضغط على الرجال والنساء وتزيد من حالات العنف الأسري...
تأتي نساء ايضا يشتكين من سوء اخلاق الازواج وكونهم مدمنين على الخمر, يضربون الزوجات والاطفال ويتحرشون ببناتهم جنسيا , حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل...
هل هذه علامات آخر الزمان واقتراب الساعه؟
العالم فقد عقله واخلاقه ورحمته وعدالته وصفاته الجميله؟
أنا شخصيا متعبه , لكنني ما فقدت الأمل أن ثمة أناس مازالوا موجودين في هذا العالم ويشكلون وجها جميلا فيه...
هم أقليه بلا شك , لكنهم موجودون .........
بين كل الف ربما يوجد واحد ....
والحمد لله على كل حال...
نسأله ان يثبتنا ويقوينا وينصرنا لنفعل ما يرضيه على هذه الأرض ...
آمين......

وأتمنى ان أجد غابة أو جزيرة أهرب اليها أحيانا , لترتاح نفسي من عناء التفكير بكل هذه المصائب يوميا ........

Friday, May 16, 2008

Peace be upon you…
By God I miss writing, I haven't written since a long time; I've been busy, busy, busy…
My new job is exhausting, and interesting, at the same time; with long hours of work, and many tasks, so I seldom sit down and find myself without something to do for a day…
Days and weeks pass by quickly, and I await a suitable day off to sort my thoughts and start writing…. And thank God, today I decided to remain at home during the weekend to write some of my latest news, and why I was not available…… and I want to give you a view about the nature of my new job…
I go to work at about (8:30) in the morning, get into my office, start my computer, and check if there are any e-mails through the internal mail of the organization I work with; I mean- an-inside e-mail among the employees. I also check my personal e-mail and see if there is anything important to deal with. Then I start working, sinking into the details little by little; papers on my desk or in the drawers, expenditure receipts , draft reports about the project that should be typed and sent to the parties that requested them, a meeting draft that should be typed and sent to the party that requested it, and sorting all these papers into special appropriately- titled files… then I would put the expenditure receipts for the branches working on the project into Excel sheets, print them, then put them into a file, attached to the receipts; each on a separate A4 sheet…
My work as a project coordinator involves all these boring details; there is no secretary, there is an assistant, and she dose the same office work with me, but I carry the bigger responsibility, for I shall be asked and be held accountable by the organization's manager or the donor , for any shortcomings in the project… then the nine branches should be contacted, to learn about their latest news and activities, to notify them of any new information, or about a meeting on coming days….
If there were some contacts to be made with the branches, it should be listened to; and a reasonable solution should be given to each problem; a financial problem, perhaps, or a technical matter about implementing the project, or even personal conflicts among the employees… there is also the budget to be followed-up; its details and how to spend each item, pursuing the developments in it to reduce some items or add some items, and debating with the financer about these steps….
Then, there are meetings now and then, either inside the organization to explain and clarify some financial or administrational matters, or with the donor to brief him on what has been accomplished in the project, and to listen to new instructions about financing or the relations with other partners implementing other projects concerning the Iraqis, or perhaps a meeting with people seeking aid, or organizations wanting to help the Iraqis through new projects and are looking for ideas and suggestions….
I go back home at 4 p.m., totally exhausted, my mind spinning with what I heard today and what I shall do tomorrow, or next week. But in spite of all this mental and psychological pressure I find myself satisfied because I work to help the Iraqis, to deliver their complaints to the organizations so that the level of performance should improve on the ground of reality…
And this job is the only thing that gives me patience for leaving Iraq, and all that I love there…
As for the financing of small projects for some poor Iraqi families here; well, I didn't stop doing this. I still receive phone calls from families, or be informed by someone about them, then I would check the matter, and then ask for help from my friends or pay from my private money, to finance a project like a sewing machine or a beauty saloon at home, a used computer with a printer, or other such projects that women can carry out at home to earn a small income that would cover some of their families' needs….
**********************
Some of the organizations working in Jordan for the Iraqis ,under the umbrella of UNHCR , are international organizations, like "Save the children", "Care", "caritas", and "relief international", … while others are local organizations like the "Jordanian Red Crescent", the "Jordanian Women's Union", and the "National Alliance to fight Hunger"…., the projects carried out by the organizations vary; from providing health, educational, or recreational services, Psycho-Social and legal consultations, or providing food rations or cash money for the very poor families.
Our project involves providing legal and Psycho-Social services for women, and educational services for women, too; (computer training and English language free courses), free lessons for students (Arabic, English, Math, and computer training), also there are recreational services for children too; and a Puppet- show project for kids and mothers, to teach them the Art of Communication by using Marionettes…
Of course, people need cash money in the first place, and food rations, free health care and education for the children, then come the other needs; like the psychological and social counseling, or recreational and cultural services, I mean- the Iraqis are also like other humans who need recreation, culture and enlightenment, not just money and food…
It is clear that the organizations that offer the money and food have limited budgets, because they offer services for a limited number of families, and this is a sad thing; because they cannot cover the needs of all the destitute families, and this is a clear defect in the organizations' performance here, but it seems the main reason is the shortage of financing…
I mean- is it fair or logical that America is spending billions of dollars to send tanks and missiles, fighter planes and armed soldiers, to kill civilians and destroy cities and the infrastructure of Iraq, while humanitarian organizations are begging for $100 million dollars to help the Iraqi refugees?
Is it worth the price of a missile targeted at Iraq? The price of a tank? A fighter plane? What is the percentage of comparison between what is being spent upon war actions, combats and bloodshed, to what is being spent to improve the lives of civilians in Iraq; like building a hospital or a school, or fulfilling the needs of millions of displaced people inside Iraq, and refugees in the neighboring countries?
And who does this? America and Bush's government? Aren't they the same people who feign crying upon human rights?
Where are the Human Rights?
Who dedicates the biggest budget to kill people, isn't it the same American government?
And what is the budget dedicated to making peace on earth, to helping the poor, the sick, and the devastated among world countries?
The budgets of governments speak about their true intentions, not the empty, lying talk that fills the media pages; the one-eyed, blind, lame, and retarded media that rules the world and broadcast lies day and night.
Most of America's budget is directed to war, (more than 50% of their budget is for military purposes); so, it is a country that spreads destruction and ruin among people on earth, and doesn't spread justice, freedom, or democracy, as they claim…..
Unfortunately, these are actual facts, and I do not invent them myself….
********************************************
I used to smile and wonder, like all the Iraqis, without exception, do: where is the Iraqi oil's money? Where is the Iraqi government's role in supporting the Iraqis, inside Iraq and out? Who is the decision-maker to achieve justice, and fulfill the poor people's needs?
Usually, no one knows the answer….
These are questions that go without an answer…
I mean, the most difficult questions might be those asked innocently by a young child: Where is God, the Lord of all creatures? Can I see Him? And the mother would try simply to make him understand the difficult equation; that God, Praise His name, exists, but we do not see Him, and these are the evidences of His existence; the creation of heaven and earth, of mountains, the moon, the sun, the planets, the seas, the rivers, His creation of humans, plants, and animals, how everything moves in a balanced, perfect system. All this couldn’t have happened by chance; there is a great Creator for all this, God, Praise His name, the best Creator… as for humans, they are imperfect creatures, who oppress, kill, shed blood, and spread corruption, but among them there is a faction that believes their mission on earth is to achieve justice, and stop corruption and bloodshed…
And another worrying question comes up: how did these people become the decision makers in their countries? How do we push the clean, straight, uncorrupt, non-thieving, and non-blood shedding people to become world leaders?
This is a question that has been keeping me awake for a long time…all people, including me, should think of a way to enable the clean symbols to reach into becoming decision-makers in our lives; in school, in the bank, in organizations, in mosques, in churches, in the political Parties, in private companies, in state sectors, and in everything that touches people's lives and their future, and also-in governments!
This globe is housing us all; the destruction that befalls it befalls us all, even if we do not feel it at the moment, but it shall creep little by little into our personal lives and our homes, and it will hurt us…
The war against Iraq was a fire that burned everything- as we used to say :the green and the dry, in Iraq… then it started sneaking into neighboring countries, then to other world countries; not necessarily in the form of violence and explosions, but the deteriorating economy, the rising costs of living, poverty, and the shortages in employment prospects, all these are side effects of wars, which spread to hit the close and the far-off ones, touching their lives and their pockets; those selfish ignorant fools from the nations of Europe and America; the financial crisis will touch their pockets, and one day they will move in anger to ask their governments what have they done to them, to ask the corrupt decision makers what have they done to them, but then it would be too late, for then the devastation and ruin might have reached a non-controllable point…
And as verse in the Holy Quran says: "…and here we turn the days among people…", meaning- we are all prone to face nice days and cruel days, no one is guaranteed to have luxury forever, but the wise man is that who comprehends, be prepared, and works, he is the one who rushes to help those in need, to lift injustice from the oppressed, so that things wouldn't turn against him one day, and what befell them would befall him, because of his selfishness and ignorance…
I am sorry to sound like a speaker in a public park, giving a boring speech……… but working with people who used to live in safe towns and villages, in safe houses with whole families, who used to have an income and a stable life, and now have lost everything… life became worthless in my eyes, except to work for a noble cause, to save the likes of those people…and there are a lot more like them on earth, but only according to the comprehension of each of us; perhaps he would see them and feel their existence, and maybe he wouldn't, even though they may be beside him- if his vision was blind, I mean- if his heart was inattentive, distracted from what is going on in the world, caring about nothing; what is the difference between this creature and an insect or a fly? All a fly cares about, after all, is buzzing over the trash, in the hope of getting something to cheer-up her day…..
Yes, by God, there are so many people among us who are very much like the fly that buzzes all her life and hover around the trash…
****************************
Yesterday was the anniversary of the Palestine Catastrophe…in 1948, when peaceful Palestinian civilians were killed and driven from their villages and towns into neighboring countries, where they lived as refugees for 60 years, dreaming about returning to their homeland, their houses and lands… those who remained inside lived through a saga of resistance against the Israeli occupation of their land. This story went through many historical stages, and each time it was aborted, and still is; killing, destruction, ruin, hunger, poverty, denial, and an endless injustice….. The civilians there are subjected to hunger, poverty, and negligence in a mass punishment so resistance would end among them. And when Hammas won the elections in Gaza a year or two ago, won thought the pole box; something holy to the people in the west, the western governments refused the acknowledge these results; they besieged Hammas and refused to give them the financial aid to pay employees' wages, people remained under an economical siege and in hunger so they would give up their support of Hammas, while these countries supported the Mahmood Abbas line and made him stronger, even though the average people in Palestine hate him, because he is known to be corrupt and his lack of integrity and patriotism…. And the Palestinian powers in the government entered into a sad state of internal conflict… to some it seems a conflict about power, but perhaps it is a struggle between right and wrong; between a faction who want to represent their people in a just way, who defend their national interests, and another faction; opportunists hypocrites who care for nothing but to enlarge the size of their bank accounts and sit on the power chairs for the longest possible time.…
Also, the same story is going on in Lebanon, between Al-Hareeri line; the owner of $12 billion dollars, and the Hezbullah line who want to be the people's representatives, to defend their rights and decrease the corruption in the country…
And the same sample is repeated in Iraq under the occupation, with the present government a weak deformed one, protected by the occupation, defended by Bush, and used to kill all the spirit of resistance among the Iraqis (Sunnies or Shia'ats), the important thing is that the atmosphere of Iraq should be clear for America and it’s investing companies, along with their accomplices to plunder the country's wealth, and that's what's been happening daily since 2003.
And by the way; Iraq is supposed to be exporting some 2.5 million barrels of oil a day, how much are the companies buying it for? $50 a barrel? $60 a barrel? Well, we don't care how much they're selling it for, but we are assuming how much is the plundered income of Iraq, out of its national oil wealth? And why isn't Iraq reconstructed, since 2003? Because it seems the program is to clean Iraq of all resistance against the occupation, then we might reconstruct it as we will…
The same idea in Palestine since 60 years; when we clean up the resistance against Israel, we reconstruct as we will, and the same story in Lebanon; when the resistance against Israel is cleaned up, we will reconstruct the country………
Well then, what about the people who live there? What about human rights, democracy, and all the empty talk they gave us a headache with?
Well, these are things used according to the temperament; when Israel and America kill innocent Palestinian, Lebanese, and Iraqi civilians, these stories shouldn't appear in world TVs and newspapers, but when an Israeli civilian or an American soldier are killed, the world would rise and not sit back… those are criminal Arabs and Palestinians, killers, and blood shedding monsters, and this is Israel; the poor innocent, the greatest democracy in the Middle East ( as Bush described it in his speech yesterday…). This great democracy that looted a land that isn't hers, kicked the original land owners out of their country, denied their rights, took over their houses and farms, killed the rest of them, and bombed and killed their neighbors, all under the pretext of self defense?
Is there is a one eyed, or blind, or a retarded carrier of news who controls the western media, deforming the true story… or are the people there blind, and enjoy that blindness? Or perhaps our absence from the international field enabled Israel to take over people's minds and emotions, forge stories, and get an on going sympathy for 60 years?
Even though I met a minority of western people, human rights activists, who knew the truth of what is happening in Iraq, Palestine, Lebanon, and Afghanistan, but they are marginalized and no one listens to them in their countries….
And when the love of injustice prevails, when that becomes accepted and favored in people's hearts, they should wait for dire consequences from God; the Lord of heaven and earth… it doesn't matter whether they believe in Him or not, that's their problem…The important thing is- that He sees and hears, His is the true judgment, leaving no small matter or big out of count….
And that who spent his life ignorant, with a blind insight, not blind eyes, shall be sorry in the end, for not putting forward any justice, or pushing back an injustice…
We ask God that we shall not be among these people, but among those who install justice and peace on this earth….
Peace be upon you…..
* * *

لا يهمنا كم تبيعه, لكننا نفترض كم هو دخل العراق المنهوب, من ثرواته النفطيه الوطنيه .؟
ولماذا لا يعاد اعمار العراق منذ 2003؟
لأنه يبدو ان البرنامج هو تنظيف العراق من كل المقاومه ضد الاحتلال , ثم نعمره على مزاجنا...
نفس الفكرة في فلسطين منذ 60 سنة, عندما تنظف من المقاومه ضد اسرائيل , نعمرها على مزاجنا,
نفس القصة في لبنان , عندما تنظف من المقاومه ضد اسرائيل , نعمر البلاد.........
طيب ماذا عن الشعوب التي تعيش هناك؟
ماذا عن حقوق الانسان والديمقراطية والكلام الفارغ الذي صدعوا رؤوسنا بسببه؟
والله هذا شيء يستعمل حسب المزاج, عندما اسرائيل وأميركا تقتل الفلسطينيين واللبنانيين والعراقيين المدنيين الابرياء , لا ينبغي أن تظهر هذه القصص في صحف وتلفزيونات العالم, اما حين يقتل مدني اسرائيلي أو جندي أمريكي فإن الدنيا تقوم ولا تقعد ...
هؤلاء عرب وفلسطينيين مجرمين قتله وحوش سفاكي الدماء, وهذه اسرائيل البريئه المسكينة أعظم دوله ديمقراطية في الشرق الاوسط
( كما وصفها بوش أمس في خطابه )...
هذه الدوله الديمقراطيه العظمى التي سلبت أرض ليست لها, وطردت اصحاب الارض الاصليين من بلادهم وأنكرت حقوقهم واستولت على بيوتهم واراضيهم وقتلت ما تبقى منهم , وقصفت وقتلت جيرانهم , كل هذا تحت حجة الدفاع عن الذات ؟
ثمة ناقل للأخبار أعور أو أعمى أو متخلف عقليا يسيطر على وسائل الاعلام الغربيه ويعوج القصه الحقيقية ...
أم أن الناس هناك عميان ومستمتعين بهذا العمى ؟
أم أن غيابنا نحن عن الساحة الدوليه جعل اسرائيل تستولي على عقول الناس وعواطفهم وتزور القصص
وتحصل على تعاطف مستمر منذ 60
سنة ؟

ورغم أنني قابلت أقليه من الغربيين ناشطين على مستوى حقوق الانسان , يعرفون حقيقة ما يجري في العراق وفلسطين ولبنان وافغانستان , لكنهم مهمشون ولا أحد يصغي لهم في اوطانهم ....

وعندما يعم حب الظلم وقبوله واستحسانه في قلوب الناس , فلينتظروا عواقب وخيمة تأتيهم من رب السموات والأرض...
يؤمنون به أو لا يؤمنون , لا يهم , فهذه مشكلتهم ...
المهم أنه هو الذي يسمع ويرى , وميزانه العدل , لا يغادر صغيرة ولا كبيرة الا أحصاها ....
وسيندم الذي قضى حياته غافلا أعمى بصيرة , لا أعمى بصر, لم يحق حقا ولم يبطل باطلا ...
نسأل الله ألا نكون منهم , بل نكون ممن يقيمون العدل والسلام على هذه الأرض....
السلام عليكم .....

Thursday, March 27th, 2008
Peace be upon you….
Keeping a diary is no longer one of the daily rituals of my life, like it was while we lived in Baghdad… or even after I left Baghdad to Jordan in 2005.
I don't know; perhaps because of the big amount of calamities I witnessed among the Iraqis here, or listening to the silly news from inside Iraq everyday; all these things made me feel tedious from writing, with an increased conviction that helping people is the best way to create the positive change on the ground, instead of wasting the time in talking and empty dispute…..
I also know that the solution to Iraq's problems is a political solution, not a military one. But I do what I can to ease the suffering of poor and powerless families that I meet here, who need the aid to remain alive…
Three years passed while I am here, five years since the war and occupation of Iraq, and hundreds of sad stories are weighing on my heart with the passage of time, turning me into a sad creature most of the time, and serious to an extent that I might appear harsh to a lot of the people who do not know me for true….
In truth; I do not like to appear harsh or dry, but I can't help it… and I say to myself: these are the features of people who went through rough experiences, like wars…then I console myself by saying: and that is a lesser outcome than a shaken personality, or thwarting and the loss of hope…
Inside me, there is still strength, patience, and a big amount of hope… but I have lost a lot of my tender personal and romantic characteristics… even my tears became scarce; I no longer see them coming down easily, and while after the war I cried a lot, I now find no use or merit in crying….. perhaps seeing people and hearing about their disasters gave my heart that "something" of strength and firmness… but in my heart there is still a lot of mercy and compassion for the poor, and that is something I am always keen on keeping in my heart; mercy and compassion for the weak creatures…. These are noble humanitarian features, and I think that whoever loses them has lost a big part of his humanity…. ****************************************
Pets are weak creatures I love very much since my childhood; they give me a sense of personal calm. That is why I am always keen on keeping a cat at home, and since I came to Jordan till now, I had three cats…. The first ran onto the street and disappeared a year ago, the second got sick and died months ago and I cried about her, the third is a small gray kitten I called "Tigger", who is now six months old. He greets me when I get home, rushing towards me, running around me to show his joy with Mama's return. He sits at the table when I take my meals, curls in my lap when I use the computer, and sleeps over my head or chest when I lay down to sleep, and when I am annoyed at that and push him away, he sits on the pillow pulling at my head with his claws, forging a long battle with my hair locks, forcing me to spank him, then he runs away…sometimes we spend time playing and fighting, and I end the play quickly because his claws are strong, and my hands show the marks of playing with him…. This crazy little cat is my joy during the absence of my sons… this relation with him takes away a lot of the daily exhaustion and stress, due to dealing with different types of people, most of whom are tiresome and difficult to please….or due to the stories of devastated Iraqis I meet, which tried me and saddened my heart very much…. *********************************
How many a family used to live under the roof of a secure house, having a steady means of income, with secure and stable rituals of daily life, but war and the occupation destroyed all, tearing such families apart, depriving them of house and income by which they lived, so they came here, to Amman, for example, went to Syria, or other "disperse" countries, to live in a state of panic and fear, of what happened and what shall come, their state spelling: where were we, and how we became? They spend their days inquiring and looking for aid, from governments, organizations, or embassies… they left no door un-knocked upon, but in most cases they got nothing but disappointment, or drops of aid that isn't enough for a decent living…
I always hoped I would have the time to write long stories about many families, so that people would know the details of the Iraqis' lives, here and there…
We are all humans, having many common points; we hate politics, taken advantages, and all the useless empty talk; we hate wars, occupation, and the innocent's bloodshed; we sympathize with each other when we hear of a family with a sick child without the means to pay for his treatment… or about a family that has lost the father, and the young wife remained with a number of orphans; how would this family arrange its affairs to raise these orphans, to educate them until they pass the danger zone into the shores of safety? How many a situation of exploitation will face this young woman who lives with her children without protection? And many other women whom I found living alone, because their families were killed or displaced, so they went out looking for a better future. Some were widows, divorced, or not married in the first place; how many dangers will they face? Who shall protect them? And many men living alone, because their families were in Iraq and couldn't catch up with them; they suffer because of their inability to reunite the family, and because they live in conditions of poverty and depravation the likes of which they never encountered any time before…
I don't know why the feeling grows inside me that the world in which we live is a world without justice, without mercy; people became cruel-hearted, stupid, and selfish; that who has doesn't think of helping those who need help. These wars destroyed people's ethics, not just their lives….the poor people's lives were destroyed and their needs and sufferings increased, and the rich people's money and the hardness of their hearts increased…. The number of poor people is increasing day by day; they are a majority… the rich people own what is more than their needs, monopolizing wealth to themselves, and they are a minority…
**********************************
This war destroyed the lives of millions of Iraqi people, but who can get to them to hear their sad stories?
Often, western people call me; journalists or documentary film makers, asking to arrange interviews with Iraqi families, to publish the stories of their sufferings around the world, but their numbers remain limited, and their efforts also; people around the world will remain under the influence of the silly, frustrating news bulletins, which no one cares about any more; because they keep repeating the same boring stories, showing explosions, fires, and screaming people; turning the war, violence and killing into an ordinary daily ritual…..
***************************
I spent the last three years in various voluntary works to help the Iraqis, through which I acquired an experience of how to deal with people and how to solve their problems in a practical way, despite the multitude of needs and the scarcity of financial sources…. A month ago I got a job with one of the local organizations here, which works with the High Commissioner for Refugees, executing programs serving the Iraqi refugees in Jordan, and of course, the disasters are big, but the financing was small, as usual…
The High Commissioner for Refugees always cries that there are not enough resources to spend upon the Iraqis' needs; food, medical treatment, school fees, or other necessary needs of people everywhere…. While I wonder with myself: How many millions are being spent daily on the war in Iraq? Tanks, fighter planes, helicopters, soldiers, security men, heavy and light weapons, and an endless list of spending… numbers speaking of two or three Trillion Dollars as the expenses of the war on Iraq, a deficit in the American budget approaching two Trillion Dollars, an international decline in the Dollar value, and other disasters that would befall the American economy in the near future….
Then, the question is: who is the winner out of this stupid war?

Bush, Dick Cheney, and others of the war propagandists in the world claim that some positive developments took place in Iraq, and I always wonder what are these developments that the poor Iraqi citizen couldn't comprehend; a citizen still deprived of security, stability, clean water, stable electricity power, and available jobs.
So, what are these positive developments that Bush and Cheney mean?
Building permanent American military bases in Iraq?
Killing more Iraqis opposing the American existence?
Enabling the Iraqi leaderships advocating Bush to get a firm control over decision-making in Iraq?
Long-term, cheaply-priced contracts to invest Iraqi oil to American companies?

We have a saying that says: …and what is hidden is graver…. Meaning- Bush, Cheney, and their likes of criminals have a lot of reasons to insist upon remaining in Iraq, and whatever happened in Iraq or in America; the humanitarian or economical disasters, to them, are things worthy of being the price of advantages they dream of accomplishing in the long run….
********************************************
At the same time, I receive new calls every day reporting of Iraqi families suffering from deprivation, hunger, and disease, in need of food rations, someone to pay the house rent, or treatment for a patient…
meaning- only a $100 can bring joy to the house and hearts of a family of five....
while millions of Dollars are spent every day in Iraq to kill more innocents and civilians, destroy their cities and villages, and their future?
What is this dirty world around us, a world that has lost its morals?
********************************************
These days, there is fighting going on in Baghdad and the southern governorates, like Kut, Hilla, and especially Basra. There is a curfew and deep tension in Diwaneyya, Nassireya, and other southern governorates… there is fighting going on between the police force, army, and militias belonging to Parties in the government backed by the American forces, on one side, against AL-Mahdi Army; a militia belonging to Muqtada Al-Sader, on the other side….
Yesterday, a reporter from a British Radio station called me, and asked me in an interview on the air: Do you think that these battles between the Iraqi government and the militias are an indication that the Iraqi government assumed its role to control Iraq, improve the security conditions, and curtail the role of the militias?
I don't know why these people in the west illustrate things in a way totally different from reality?
The issue is; there is an election due to take place in the Iraqi governorates next October, and there is a divergence in viewpoints between the Muqtada Al-Sader's people, on one side, and Al-Hakeem and Al-Maliki's people on the other side, these last two being more loyal to the occupation, while the former has anti-occupation stances. So it seems obvious these are settlement operations for political interests in the first place, so they can obtain seats in the Governorates' Councils after the elections, and pass on laws, like the Federalism Law, for example, and other laws that Bush and Cheney would consider "positive achievements", while Iraqis like me consider them historical disasters; Who would be happy to see his country being fragmented into small, torn, combating pieces, ruled by thieves and militias?
And of course, these bloody settlements take place on the streets of Iraq, with tens or perhaps hundreds of innocent Iraqi civilians as their victims, but no one would beat the drums and cry upon them as Bush and Blair cried for the victims of Saddam Hussein, the dictator….
Why?
Because this government in Iraq is friendly to Bush, and its faults should be covered up?
Hummmm….
It is a world of interests, my dear; there is no pure- white nor pure- black; colors turn according to moods, and so does the explanations of events, according to moods… and, oh, poor Iraq, poor are the people of Iraq; for there is an over-powered majority, paying the price of the foolishness of a corrupt minority…
We ask God to give us patience, until we can see the end of this bloody play that has been going on the Iraqi land since the occupation…for five scrawny years, full of devastation, ruin, death, and bloodshed….
We rely on God, the best Supporter…
And we also wait to see the end of Bush and whoever supported him in this war; how should that end be?

الحمد لله انه مازال في العراق رجال شرفاء
يرفعون رؤوسهم ويقولون كلمة الحق
نسأل الله أن يثبتهم وينصرهم على القوم الظالمين
آمين

http://www.alsharqiya.com/data/mainstory/2008/03/715.wmv

الخميس 27 آذار 2008
السلام عليكم....
ما عادت كتابة اليوميات طقسا من طقوس حياتي كما كانت ونحن نعيش في بغداد...
أو حتى بعد ان غادرتها الى الاردن 2005
لا أدري فربما كثرة المصائب التي رأيتها بين العراقيين هنا, أو سماع الاخبار السخيفة القادمه من داخل العراق كل يوم , قد جعلتني أشعر بالملل من الكتابه, وزادت قناعتي أن مساعدة الناس هي أفضل وسيلة لعمل التغيير الايجابي على الأرض, بدلا من إضاعة الوقت في الكلام والجدل الفارغ.....
ايضا , أعلم ان الحل لمشاكل العراق هو حل سياسي وليس عسكري, لكنني أفعل ما استطيع لتخفيف المعاناة عن أسر فقيرة وضعيفه أقابلها هنا, وتحتاج ألى مد يد العون لإبقائها على قيد الحياة...
ثلاث سنوات مرت علي هنا, وخمس سنوات منذ الحرب على العراق واحتلاله , ومئات من قصص حزينه أثقلت على قلبي بمرور الوقت وجعلتني اتحول الى مخلوقة حزينه معظم الوقت,
وجادة الى درجة قد أبدو جافة لكثير من الناس الذين لا يعرفون حقيقتي....
في الحقيقة أنني لا احب ان ابدو قاسيه او جافه , لكن الأمر ليس بيدي ...
وأقول لنفسي : هذه من سمات الناس الذين مروا بتجارب قاسية مثل الحروب ..
ثم أواسي نفسي وأقول : وهي أهون من أن تهتز شخصيتي او احبط او أفقد الشعور بالأمل...

ما زال في داخلي قوة وصبر وأمل كبير ...
لكنني فقدت الكثير من صفاتي الشخصية الرقيقه والرومانسية...
حتى دمعتي صارت عزيزة , ما عدت أراها تنزل بسهوله , كنت بعد الحرب كثيرة البكاء,
أما الآن فلا أجد في البكاء أي فضيله أو جدوى.....
ربما رؤية الناس وسماع مصائبهم هي التي أعطت قلبي هذا الشيء من القوة والصلابه..
لكن مازال فيه الكثير من الرحمه والشفقه للفقراء , وهذا ما أكون حريصه دائما على أن يظل في قلبي, الرحمه والشفقه على الضعفاء من المخلوقات....
هذه صفات إنسانية نبيله , وأظن أن من يفقدها , يكون قد فقد جزءا كبيرا من إنسانيته ....
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الحيوانات الاليفة هي مخلوقات ضعيفة أحبها جدا منذ طفولتي , وتعطيني الشعور بالراحه النفسيه ,
لذلك أنا حريصة دائما ان يكون عندي قطة في البيت منذ حضرت الى الاردن , لحد الان اقتنيت ثلاث قطط....
الاولى هربت للشارع واختفت قبل سنة , والثانية تمرضت وماتت وبكيت عليها قبل شهور, والثالث هو قط صغير لونه رصاصي أسميته تغر , يعني نمر, عمره الان 6 شهور , وهو يستقبلني عند عودتي للبيت بالركض والهروله من حولي ليبدي فرحته بعودة ماما , ويجلس على طاولة الطعام حين اتناول غدائي, وينام بحضني حين أشتغل على الكومبيوتر, وينام على راسي أو عظام صدري حين استلقي للنوم , اتضايق منه واطرده , فيجلس على المخدة يخمش راسي بمخالبه ويفتعل معركه طويله مع خصل شعري فيجعلني أضربه ثم يهرب ...
نقضي احيانا وقتا في اللعب والعراك , وأنهي اللعب بسرعه لأن مخالبه قويه , ويدي تبدو عليها آثار المعارك معه ....
هذا القط الصغير المجنون هو متعتي في حال غياب أولادي ...
وهذه العلاقة معه تمتص الكثير من التعب والتوتر اليومي نتيجة التعامل مع فئات مختلفه من الناس, اكثرهم متعبين ويصعب إرضاؤهم ....

أو أن قصص العراقيين المنكوبين الذين اقابلهم , اتعبتني واحزنت قلبي كثيرا ....
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كم من عائلة كانت تعيش تحت ظل بيت آمن , وتملك مصدر رزق ثابت , ولها طقوس حياة يوميه ثابتة مستقرة, لكن الحرب والاحتلال دمرت كل شيء, ومزقت هذه الاسرة, وافقدتها البيت ومصدر الدخل الذي كانوا يعيشون عليه, وجاؤا هنا مثلا الى عمان , أو ذهبوا الى سوريا, وغيرها من دول الشتات, ليعيشوا حالة من الفزع والخوف مما حدث ومما سيأتي, ولسان حالهم يقول : أين كنا وأين أصبحنا؟
ويقضون ايامهم في السؤال والبحث عن المساعدة, من حكومات أو منظمات أو سفارات ...
لم يتركوا بابا الا وطرقوه, لكنهم في معظم الاحيان لم يحصدوا سوى الخيبة , او قطرات من مساعدات لا تكفي لعيش كريم ...
كنت اتمنى دائما ان يسنح لي الوقت لكتابة قصص طويله عن عوائل كثيرة حتى يعرف الناس تفاصيل حياة العراقيين هنا وهناك...
نحن بشر, وبيننا قواسم مشتركه كثيرة, ونكره السياسه والمصالح والكلام الفارغ الذي لا طائل منه,
ونكره الحروب والاحتلال وسفك دماء الابرياء , ونتعاطف مع بعضنا البعض حين نسمع عن عائله لديها طفل مريض وليس عندهم رصيد لتسديد تكاليف علاجه..
او عائله فقدت الأب وظلت الزوجه شابه وأرمله مع عدد من الايتام , كيف سترتب امورها لتربي هؤلاء الايتام وتعلمهم وتجاوز بهم منطقة الخطر الى بر الأمان ؟
كم من موقف استغلال سيواجه هذه المرأة الشابه التي تعيش بلا حمايه هي واطفالها؟
ونساء اخريات وجدتهن يعشن لوحدهن لأن عوائلهن تعرضوا للقتل او التهجير, فخرجن يبحثن عن مستقبل افضل, بعضهن أرامل او مطلقات او غير متزوجات أصلا, كم من خطر يهدد حياتهن ومستقبلهن؟ كم من مواقف استغلال ومذله سيتعرضن لها؟ من سيحميهن ؟
ورجال يعيشون لوحدهم لأن عوائلهم في العراق ولم تلحق بهم , يتعذبون بسبب عدم قدرتهم على جمع شمل العائله, ولانهم يعيشون ظروف فقر وحرمان لم تمر عليهم في أي وقت سابق ...

لا أعرف لماذا يتزايد عندي الشعور أن العالم الذي نعيشه هو عالم بلا عداله, بلا رحمه , الناس صاروا قساة القلوب وأغبياء وأنانيين , الذي عنده لا يفكر بمساعدة من يحتاج المساعدة ,
هذه الحروب دمرت اخلاق الناس , وليس فقط حياتهم....
الفقراء تدمرت حياتهم وزادت احتياجاتهم ومعاناتهم,والاغنياء زادت اموالهم وقسوة قلوبهم ....
الفقراء يزدادون يوما بعد يوم , وهم الاكثريه ...
والاغنياء يملكون ما يفيض عن حاجتهم , ويحتكرونه لانفسهم , وهم أقليه ..
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هذه الحرب دمرت حياة الملايين من العراقيين , لكن من يصل اليهم وينقل قصصهم الحزينه؟
عادة يتصل بي أشخاص قادمون من الغرب , من صحافيين او صانعي افلام وثائقية , ويطلبون مقابلات مع عوائل عراقيه لينشروا معاناتهم حول العالم , لكن يظل العدد محدود والجهد محدود , ويظل الناس حول العالم تسيطر عليهم نشرات الاخبار السخيفه المحبطه التي ما عاد أحد يهتم بها , لأنها تعيد نفس القصص الممله وتصور التفجيرات والنيران والناس يصرخون , والتي تجعل من الحرب والعنف والقتل طقسا يوميا عاديا .....
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كنت أقضي السنوات الثلاث الاخيرة في اعمال تطوعيه مختلفه لمساعدة العراقيين, وأمتلكت خبرة من خلالها كيف اتعامل مع الناس وكيف احل مشاكلهم بطريقه عمليه ,رغم كثرة الاحتياجات وقلة مصادر التمويل ....
وقبل شهر حصلت على وظيفه مع إحدى المنظمات المحليه هنا, والتي تعمل مع المفوضية , لتطبيق برامج تخدم اللاجئين العراقيين في الاردن , وطبعا الكوارث كبيرة والتمويل صغير كالعادة ..
المفوضية تبكي دائما ان لا مصادر كافيه للانفاق على احتياجات العراقيين من غذاء أو علاج طبي او نفقات دراسيه أو غيرها من احتياجات الناس في كل مكان ....
بينما اتساءل في نفسي : كم من مليون ينفق يوميا على الحرب في العراق؟
دبابات وطيارات مقاتله وطائرات هليكوبتر وجنود ورجال أمن واسلحه ثقيله وخفيفه , وقائمة مصاريف لا نهاية لها ...
وأرقام تتكلم عن اثنين او ثلاثة ترليون دولار هي نفقات الحرب على العراق, وعجز في الميزانية الامريكية يتجه نحو اثنين ترليون دولار, وهبوط في قيمة الدولار عالميا ,وكوارث اخرى ستصيب اقتصاد اميركا في المستقبل القريب....
السؤال إذن : من هو الرابح في هذه الحرب الغبيه؟


بوش ودك تشيني وغيرهما من مروجي الحروب في العالم , يدعون أن ثمة تطورات ايجابيه حصلت في العراق, وأنا أتساءل دائما ما هي تلك التطورات التي لم يدركها المواطن العراقي المسكين الذي ما زال محروما من الامان والاستقرار والماء النظيف والكهرباء المستقره ووظائف العمل المتوفرة, ما هي التطورات الايجابيه التي يقصدها بوش وتشيني ؟
بناء قواعد عسكريه أمريكيه ثابته في العراق؟
قتل المزيد من العراقيين المعارضين للوجود الامريكي؟
تمكين القيادات العراقية المواليه لبوش من احكام السيطرة على صناعة القرار في العراق؟
عقود طويلة الأمد لاستثمار النفط العراقي لشركات أمريكيه وبأسعار رخيصه؟

وعندنا مثل يقول : والمخفي كان أعظم....
يعني بوش وتشيني ومن يشابههم من مجرمين , عندهم أسباب كثيرة للاصرار على البقاء في العراق, وأن ما حدث من كوارث انسانية او اقتصاديه سواء في العراق او اميركا , هي بالنسبة لهم تستحق أن تكون ثمنا, لمكاسب يحلمون بتحقيقها على المدى البعيد....
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وفي هذ الوقت , أستلم كل يوم اتصالات جديدة تبلغ عن عوائل عراقية تعاني من الحرمان والجوع والمرض, تحتاج الى حصة غذائية أو من يدفع أجرة البيت او العلاج لمريض...
يعني 100 دولار فقط تدخل الفرحة الى بيت وقلب أفراد عائله واحدة ربما عددهم خمسة ..
بينما تصرف يوميا ملايين الدولارات في العراق لقتل المزيد من المدنيين والأبرياء وتدمير مدنهم وقراهم ومستقبلهم ؟
ما هذا العالم القذر من حولنا و الذي فقد أخلاقه ؟
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وهذه الايام ثمة قتال يدور في بغداد والمحافظات الجنوبيه مثل الكوت والحلة والبصرة خاصة , ومنع تجول وتوتر شديد في الديوانية والناصريه وغيرها من محافظات الجنوب...
قتال بين شرطة وجيش ومليشيات لأحزاب في الحكومه وتساندهم القوات الامريكية , ضد جيش المهدي وهو مليشيا تابعه لمقتدى الصدر....

بالأمس اتصل مذيع محطة راديو بريطانيه وسألني في مقابله على الهواء: هل تظنين أن هذه المعارك بين الحكومه العراقية والمليشيات هي مؤشر أن الحكومه العراقية أخذت دورها للسيطرة على العراق وتحسين الوضع الأمني وتحجيم دور المليشيات ؟

لا أدري لماذا هؤلاء الناس في الغرب يفسرون الأشياء بطريقة تختلف تماما عن الواقع؟

المسألة ان ثمة انتخابات ستحدث في المحافظات العراقية في شهر اكتوبر القادم , وثمة اختلاف في وجهات النظر بين جماعة مقتدى الصدر من جهة, وجماعة الحكيم والمالكي من جهة اخرى, حيث الاخيرين أكثر ولاء للاحتلال , والأول عنده مواقف معاديه للاحتلال, فيبدو واضحا أن هذه عمليات تصفية من أجل مصالح سياسية بالدرجه الاولى حتى يكسبوا مقاعد في مجالس المحافظات بعد الانتخابات , ويمرروا قانون الفدراليه مثلا, وغيرها من قوانين سيعتبرها بوش وتشيني( مكاسب ايجابيه)
بينما يعتبرها عراقيون مثلي انها كوارث تاريخيه , من سيفرح وهو يرى وطنه يتشظى الى قطع صغيرة ممزقه متناحرة يحكمها لصوص ومليشيات ؟

وطبعا تجري هذه التصفيات الدمويه في شوارع العراق, ويذهب ضحيتها عشرات او ربما مئات من عراقيين مدنيين أبرياء , لكن لا احد يضرب الطبول ويبكي عليهم كما بكى بوش وبلير على ضحايا الدكتاتور صدام حسين....
لماذا؟
لأن هذه الحكومة في العراق صديقة بوش وينبغي ان نستر عيوبها؟
هممم....
العالم مصالح يا عزيزي, لا يوجد أبيض خالص ولا أسود خالص,
الالوان تتقلب حسب المزاج , وكذلك يتم تفسير الاحداث حسب المزاج...

ومسكين يا عراق , ومساكين هم أهل العراق, فثمة اكثرية مغلوبه على أمرها, تدفع ثمن حماقات أقليه فاسدة...
نسأل الله أن يجعلنا من الصابرين , حتى نرى نهاية هذه المسرحيه الدمويه التي تجري على أرض العراق منذ احتلاله ...
منذ خمس سنوات عجاف , مليئات بالخراب والدمار والقتل وسفك الدماء ....
حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل...

وننتظر أيضا لنرى نهاية بوش ومن يؤيده في هذه الحرب , كيف ستكون؟

Thursday, February 14th, 2008
Peace be upon you….
These days I am in Cairo, visiting my son who is studying here…
I love Egypt very much, especially Cairo, for there are so many common things between people here and Iraq; the people's faces here beam optimistically, specially with visitors, they welcome and respect them, like the Iraqis used to do before the war. But now, woe unto any Arabic citizen from neighboring countries if they enter Iraq for a visit; for there is hatred and instigation against our Arab neighbors since after the American occupation…
Here, there is also the river Nile; how beautiful it is! It reminds me of beloved Tigris, crossing into the center of Baghdad, dividing the city into Al-Kharkh and Al-Russafa. But Tigris is sinking now into the sorrow and neglect which befell Iraq since the occupation…
Anyone who is used to living in a flat city with a river, or overlooking the sea or an ocean finds it hard to live in a mountainous city without water, like it is in Jordan. There I feel a big desolation and miss the sight of water and the river…..
I spend my vacation here in calm and a quietness I miss in Amman, for there I work as a volunteer to help the poor and needy Iraqi families. This job exhausted me very much; it burdened my soul and body, and increased my worries and sorrows. The reason was not my lack of patience or toleration, but the shortness of financing to help the people…
The organizations working under the supervision of the UN present a pipette-method assistance; meaning- drop by drop, and this is torturing to the people in need; a humiliation, and degradation…
But what more can we do but say: we look up to our God, for He is our aid… for we washed our hands clean from countries and governments, from the possibilities of their providing aid to the Iraqi refugees or displaced, but hope still remains in ordinary people, or the non-governmental organizations… and those aren't always "angels", or work always with what satisfies conciseness, but there is a small bunch of people who work sincerely, but the calamities that befell the Iraqi people are big, rather- very big, after the occupation, and this sincere small bunch cannot cover most needs…
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I sometimes feel I am living between two whirlpools… a small one; this world around me, filled with devastated people who need support, need listening to, consolation, and financial aid, like paying the rent, the doctor's fees, or to finance a small project that would keep the family alive. And the other whirlpool is news of the bigger world around us; all frustrating and silly, as if taking place in an old, dark grinder, with a noise of boring screech….
The news from Iraq is the same; silly clashes, conflicting declarations, and nothing positively true on the ground, until the dream of going back home became like an impossibly far-off goal…. And there is the news of the American elections; the same speeches, the same declarations, competition, and electoral publicity; and the people there- are they fools? Or do they really want to change these corrupt, lying leaderships they have?
I do not know. I pity the American people like I pity the Iraqi people; they are both the scapegoats for a greedy faction that is destroying this world, crushing it without mercy, and spreading lies through the media belonging to rich, greedy, corrupt men…
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Whenever I visited an Arab country, I became sure that we all suffer from the same things; autocratic leaderships that do not deal with their people with respect and cordiality, but with aggression and constant repression, and Saddam Hussein wasn't the only one who acted this way towards his people… there is the bad living conditions, the high prices, the increasing poverty and unemployment, and the feelings of anger and resentment among people… there is the feeling of bitterness, disappointment and defeat among Arab nations, because of their inability to help their brothers in Iraq, Palestine, Lebanon, and other Arab countries living the ordeal and injustice…. There is a distraction of these nations with silly stories; like a football game, the Asia Cup or the Africa Cup, then there are marches onto the streets, flags waving, cars with blowing horns, all shouting and hailing the football team for an accomplished goal, as if they mean to say: Is this all we have now? Have we no more margins of joy with a victory but in a football match? Aren't we allowed to march against the government if they raised the prices, or decided anything we don't like? Are we allowed to march onto the streets only to greet the football team?
What misery and disappointment can be more than this?
The streets of the Arabic cities are filled with commercials; either for consumer products, cars, restaurants, and hotels, or advertisements for cinema movies, most of which show images of violence, guns and criminals, or photos of Arab female artists, half naked, or male artists, whose faces look like women, without masculinity…
Are those the models for our sons and daughters in this age?
Where are the nation's scientists, and the cultured?
Are they dead? Extinct? marginalized?
In Iraq I know the answer to that question; they were either killed, driven out of the country, or were marginalized so that no one cares about them or remembers them, until the Iraqis started losing faith in themselves and their future… The street in Iraq is ruled by armed gangs and sectarian militias, the dregs of society; drug addicts and jail graduates, as if the actual reality says: This is Iraq…
But I personally do not believe in this story, which is being circulated since the occupation, for I know for sure that thousands of clean-minded Iraqis were either assassinated or forced to leave the country, so the country would be emptied of them, and the occupier would remain with the upper word, followed and obeyed by the weak opportunists; those who have no dignity, who consented onto themselves to be followers of the occupation, for this is their opportunity to plunder and theft, and; they don't seem to be satisfied, for it seems that the ill-gotten money is like the salted sea water, the more they drink of it, the more thirsty they become. God be praised; this is his curse upon the wrongful people… their day of judgment shall come, and they will know…
And to me, they are poor people who deserve nothing but pity….
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And I look at the conditions of the Muslims in the Muslim countries….
A true Muslim finds himself lost here, in those streets, among those advertisements…
This is a sad time, a trying time, a time of ordeals, when a human wakes up a believer in the morning, and ends-up a disbeliever by nightfall, because of the amount of calamities he encounters everyday… and Muslims are weak, humiliated in their countries, and there are those who deform the image of Muslims and affront them in most world countries…
But I see, with my own eyes, that the majority of people, and especially the poor ones, hold on to Islam and cling to it, and more so, because they see Islam as their identity, and their salvation from the injustice they live in. God be praised… I mean; I remember in my childhood, and also in my teens and when I was in university at the seventies, there was no Islamic tide, and secularism was dominant in our societies; with Nationalist and Communist Parties… there was not a single young woman in university or school who was wearing the veil… believe me; by God… we used to wear mini-skirts, way above the knees… we used to listen, and sing by heart, all the western songs before the Arabic songs; Petula Clark, Angelbert Humpurding, Tom Johns…. We knew nothing more about Islam than what we used to read in the 'Religion' class at school, and in university we stopped reading that lesson… even our fathers and mothers didn't know the details of religion, I mean- there weren't many books available at the market…
Egypt had Abdul-Nasser and the Nationalist thinking… Syria also had Nationalists and Communists… and in Iraq, there were the Nationalists, the Ba'athiees, and the Communists …
These are the biggest three Arab countries, and the most civilized, then there are other small countries, like Lebanon, Jordan, and Palestine; and they had conflicting secular Parties; the same story like in Iraq, Syria, and Egypt… the Arab Gulf countries were closed, with ruling families as heads of state, but no Parties…
Then time moved on, the eighties came along, and things began to change…
There were the many frustrations of the Arab nation and its accumulating defeats, especially at the 1948 war, then the 1967 war, then 1973… all in Palestine.
Then, there was the Lebanon war in 1975, which lasted for 15 years.
Then the Iraq-Iran war, for eight years, ending in 1988.
Then, there was the uprising in Palestine, 1987.
Then the Iraqi war with Kuwait, 1990.
Then the blockade, which went on till 2003, when Iraq was occupied, and what was left of it was destroyed….
Then there was the latest war between Lebanon and Israel.
Then there was the constant fierce fighting in Palestine, which didn't stop since 60 years…
These events influenced every Arabic individual, exactly like it influenced me… it is not a matter of this being Iraq and that is Palestine, or Lebanon or another… for it is very obvious that these artificial borders between the Arab countries, created after World War I and the "Sykes- Picot" Treaty, didn't exactly enter people's hearts and minds, and a lot of them still believe that this is the land of the Arabs and Muslims, a one-land, and the things that make it's people happy or sad are the same; they have the same popular temperament, they share the same dreams that Palestine will be liberated and its people shall go back home to it one day, they have the same feeling of guilt and humiliation that we are a slack, negligent, and idle nation, slow in defending its rights, a nation which gave up its dignity with its own hands… they share the same sadness and anger at what befell Iraq since 1991. They criticize Saddam Hussein, but they do not approve that America should come along to occupy Iraq. They think that if a Muslim ruler has erred he could be replaced by a more just Muslim ruler, and not by a foreign occupier who hates Islam.
These are people's words, not mine…
The war against Iraq, the occupation of Iraq, and the daily slaughter there, hurt the people in every Arab country, and increase the feelings of anger…
And what was the result of these frustrating accumulations, in reality? The result was an increasing recurrence to Islam; people abandoned the secular Parties, considering them petty and failures! God be praised…
And Palestine, for example, is the best evidence… how did people in the last elections shift from electing "Fateh" and the " Popular Front", (secular formations established since the sixties), to electing Islamic "Hamas"?
Why?
Because people say that "Hamas" is more patriotic, and less corrupt…
It seems that people's temperament wants the Parties that defend their robbed national rights; they seem to have lost their trust in the old Parties that became like fat, flabby cats. This is how people look at the representatives of the Palestinian authority, people think they stole the donations money that came from all over the world for their people, as a small faction enjoyed these monies, contrary to thousands of hungry families, deprived of everything, and the authority presented nothing to its people to improve their lives…
Bitter ordeals force people to choose alternative leaderships…
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And now; what is happening in the Arab and Islamic countries, especially after the nineties, the collapse of the Soviet Union, the American domination of the world and its war on terrorism (the Muslims call it- a war on Islam), the deformation of the image of Islam, and ascribing all the ugly charges onto Muslims; the terrorism, killings, and sabotage, since the September events till now…. What happened in our countries, as I see with my own eyes?
The number of libraries publishing Islamic books and reviving old ones again, grew… the spread of wearing the veil grew among women, I and my sisters among them; the four of us were secular in our youth, understanding nothing about religion, but now we are veiled, and so are our daughters! And we are engineers, doctors, and pharmacists, I mean- we are not ignorants lacking in education so it could be said that we were fooled…
Things in our countries have changed… outwardly; our governments seem to fight Islam, because they fear the wrath of Bush and America… while our people defy their governments and cling to Islam… this is the reality of things…
The lessons of memorizing the Quran, the exposition of Fiqh (= Jurisprudence) and Shareea'a (=Islamic Law), the sayings of the Prophet (May the prayers of God be upon him, and his blessings) became familiar in all Arabic societies, in the houses or mosques, as if there is an awakening tide spreading into the Islamic body, so Muslims could learn the truth of their religion, after it was attacked and deformed by the western countries…. And at the same time, I see there is a wave of western restaurants and movies sweeping the Arabic and Islamic countries, as if there is a clash going on…
Actually, there is a clash going on, but who shall win?
In Turkey, they forbade the veil years ago in universities and work offices, by the pretext that the state is secular… and here comes the veil back, after the Parliament voted positively with a majority for it… isn't that a questionable matter? Why would the veil recur?
We, as Muslims, say: "…and God will prevail his will, even if the infidels hate it so…" … meaning- this is the will of God, the God of all beings, He does what He will, not what the corrupt fools on earth would wish to… He is the creator of this earth and those humans, He knows them better, and knows what is best for them…
Praise be to God, the Mighty, above all people say…
Personally, I smile…because I believe in Him, I think what is happening on earth; the disasters, the wars, sins, killings and bloodshed; all is happening under the eyes and ears of God, and He is the Knowledgeable Wise…
When the angels asked Him, in the Surat albaqara (Sura= chapter in the Holy Quran): "…Why do You create onto this earth beings that would kill and shed blood…? While we, the angels, praise and glorify You? And He said: I know what you do not…".
And we, as humans, become confused sometimes, and say: what is this, oh God, that is happening on earth? Why would You allow the criminals and the corrupt to spread havoc in your earth, and kill your creatures?
We, as humans, may feel dismayed, defeated, and hopeless, because we cannot comprehend the answer….
As if I can see the Mighty God, ever smiling in his heaven, and answering with the same words with which He answered the angels, when He created Man out of clay: "…I know what you do not…"….
I have a personal conviction that all shall change into the better, that these wronged, oppressed Arabic Muslim nations will know how to change these regimes and these leaderships, so that someone more devoted to them shall come along…
But when will this promise be fulfilled?
It will take some tens of years, perhaps… but as for now, sorrow will keep on perching upon our hearts, as long as reality is full of disappointments, mistakes, and faults…..
These are my personal and public sorrows…. And I think they resemble those of so many people around me….
If we tried to run away from our small worries, we will be shocked to see the big worries into which the world is sinking….
We are like the small fish trying to run away from the hot oil in the frying pan, only to fall into the fire surrounding the pan!
And we have nothing but patience…..
So, sweet patience it is, and to God we turn, to be in our aid…..

الخميس 14 شباط 2008
السلام عليكم....
هذه الأيام أنا في القاهرة , أزور إبني الذي يدرس هنا...
أحب مصر كثيرا , وخصوصا القاهرة, فثمة أشياء مشتركه بين الناس هنا وبين العراق,
الناس هنا وجوههم ضاحكه مستبشرة ,وخصوصا مع الزائر , يرحبون به ويحترمونه , كما كان يفعل العراقيون قبل الحرب, اما الان فيا ويل أي مواطن عربي من دول الجوار لو دخل العراق لزيارة, فثمة بغض وتحريض ضد جيراننا العرب حصل بعد الاحتلال الامريكي ...

وأيضا هنا نهر النيل, ما أجمله !
يذكرني بنهر دجله الحبيب الذي يمر وسط بغداد ويقسمها الى كرخ ورصافه, لكن دجلة الان يغرق في الحزن والاهمال, الذي أصاب كل العراق, بعد الاحتلال...

والانسان الذي تعود أن يعيش في مدينة منبسطة بها نهر, او تشرف على بحر او محيط, يصعب عليه العيش بمدينة جبليه لا ماء فيها, كما هو الحال في الأردن, هناك أحس بوحشة كبيرة وأشتاق لرؤية منظر المياه والنهر
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أقضي إجازتي هنا في راحة بال وهدوء افتقده في عمان, هناك حيث أعمل متطوعه لمساعدة العوائل العراقية الفقيرة والمحتاجه , فقد أرهقني هذا العمل كثيرا , فهو يثقل على روحي وجسمي ويزيد همومي وأحزاني, والسبب ليس قلة في سعة صدري وصبري, إنما هي قلة التمويل لمساعدة الناس..
المنظمات التي تعمل تحت إشراف اليو إن , تقدم مساعدات تشبه طريقة القطارة, يعني قطرة قطرة , وهذا تعذيب للناس المحتاجين ومهانة ومذله...
لكن ماذا نفعل سوى القول : حسبنا الله ونعم الوكيل؟
فالدول والحكومات نفضنا أيدينا من إمكانية إعطاءها مساعدات للاجئين أو المهجرين العراقيين , ويبقى الأمل في الناس العاديين أو المنظمات غير الحكوميه..
وهؤلاء أيضا ليسوا دائما ملائكه ويعملون بما يرضي الضمير , إنما هنالك ثمة فئة قليلة تخلص في العمل , لكن الكوارث التي اصابت شعب العراق كبيرة, وكبيرة جدا, بعد الاحتلال, وهذه الفئه الصغيرة المخلصه , لا تقدر أن تغطي معظم الاحتياجات...
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أحس أحيانا أنني أعيش بين دوامتين..
واحدة صغيرة هي هذا العالم من حولي والمليء بأناس منكوبين يحتاجون المساعدة والاصغاء والمواساة والمساعدة المادية مثل دفع أجرة البيت أو الطبيب للعلاج أو تمويل مشروع صغير يبقى العائله على قيد الحياة , وبين أخبار العالم من حولنا, كلها محبطة وسخيفه كأنها تدور في مطحنه عتيقة مظلمه لها صوت صرير ممل ....
أخبار العراق كما هي , صراعات سخيفة وتصريحات متناقضة ولا شيء حقيقي ايجابي على الارض, حتى صار حلم العودة للوطن كأنه شيء مستحيل بعيد المنال....
وأخبار الانتخابات الامريكية نفس الكلام والتصريحات والتنافس والدعايه الانتخابيه ,
والناس هناك هل هم مغفلون ؟ ام هم فعلا يريدون تغيير هذه القيادات الفاسدة الكذابه التي لديهم؟
لا ادري , أشفق على الشعب الامريكي كما اشفق على الشعب العراقي, كلاهما كبش فداء لفئة جشعه تدمر هذا العالم , وتسحقه بلا رحمه, وتنشر الاكاذيب من خلال وسائل إعلام تابعه لرجال أغنياء فاسدين مفسدين...
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كلما زرت بلدا عربيا , تأكد لي أننا كلنا نعاني من نفس الامور, انظمة حكم مستبدة لا تتعامل مع شعوبها باحترام ومودة وإنما بعدوانية وقمع مستمر, ولم يكن صدام حسين هو الوحيد الذي يتصرف هكذا مع شعبه...
سوء الاحوال المعيشيه وارتفاع الاسعار وزيادة الفقر والبطاله والسخط والغضب بين الناس...
الشعور بالمرارة والخيبة والهزيمه عند الشعوب بسبب عجزها عن مساعدة اخوانهم في العراق وفلسطين ولبنان وغيرها من دول عربيه تعيش المحنه والظلم....
إلهاء هذه الشعوب بقصص سخيفة مثل مباراة كرة القدم وكأس آسيا أو كأس افريقيا, ثم تخرج مسيرات في الشوراع واعلام وسيارات وزوامير كلها تصرخ وتحيي فريق كرة القدم على الهدف الذي تحقق , وكأن لسان حالهم يقول : أهذا هو كل ما لدينا الان؟
لم يتبق لنا هامش للفرح بنصر سوى مباراة كرة قدم ؟
لا يسمح لنا بمظاهرات ضد الحكومه لو رفعت الاسعار او قررت أي شيء لا يعجبنا؟
مسموح لنا فقط الخروج للشارع لتحية فريق كرة القدم ؟
أي بؤس وخيبة أكثر من هذه؟

وشوراع المدن العربيه تملؤها الاعلانات اما لمنتجات استهلاكيه وسيارات ومطاعم وفنادق ,أو دعايات افلام سينمائية معظمها تحمل صور عنف ومسدسات وعصابات , او صور لفنانات عربيات شبه عاريات وفنانين من الرجال وجوههم تشبه النساء ولا رجوله فيها..
أهؤلاء هم قدوة ابناءنا وبناتنا في هذا العصر؟
أين علماء الأمة والمثقفين ؟
ماتوا ؟ انقرضوا ؟ تهمشوا ؟
في العراق أعرف الجواب, إما تم قتلهم أو تهجيرهم من البلاد , وتهميشهم فلا أحد يلتفت اليهم أو يذكرهم, حتى بدأ العراقيون يفقدون الثقة بأنفسهم وبمستقبلهم ..
فالشارع هناك تحكمه عصابات مسلحه ومليشيات طائفية هم حثالة المجتمع من مدمني المخدرات وخريجي السجون, وكأن واقع الحا