A Family in Baghdad

Thursday, February 3rd, 2005
Good morning…
The weather in Amman today is sunny and beautiful, but cold… and people are still debating in ideas and opinions about the Iraqi elections, right or wrong? A great accomplishment or a silly one? A true step forwards, or a lie and deceit? Legitimate, or not? And each would bring forwards the evidence to support his opinion… I am sick of this nonsense, which is no good to anyone, nor would it accomplish a good deed, except lots of talk, and a headache.
I want to accomplish something useful…on the ground of reality, something to help the Iraqis in the coming years.
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Life here is so quiet… I am trying to make use of my time here to read more books, and look for a suitable university to study in, and obtain the Masters Degree in some Women-Related Studies, which would be useful to me when I get back to Iraq…in helping the Iraqi women in a better way.
Through these studies I shall learn how we could think and form suitable programs for our society, for this subject is a science by itself, and I don’t think the personal experience would be enough… but science plus the personal experience would give more positive results, by the will of GOD…
My first mission in life was my family and sons, now that they are grown up, and almost independent from me… I want to give the priority in my coming life to helping the Iraqi Women, for they have had enough misery, suffering, ignorance, and injustice, especially those living away from the capital, or important cities.
I pray to GOD to open up the path for me, so I would move forwards, and begin my new journey…
I do not want to “Import” the ideas of the west to implement for Iraqi women, no, but, from those ideas and experiences we could extract ideas that would be suitable for our religion and society.
I feel sad to be away from my home, my family, my city, and all those I love there…but no doubt the goal is worth that sacrifice; that is what I tell myself, to ease the feelings of sadness, patience, waiting, and the fear of what is to come.
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Perhaps, if the war on Iraq didn’t happen, I would have continued living my life the way it was… an engineer, a manager of a sales shop for water treatment devices, domestic, industrial, and commercial, and the new branch for swimming pools and their pumps, accessories, and the many other details. Perhaps I would have read to learn more about my career, and get to know about the new companies and products, I would’ve had many responsibilities, and sales duties. For life never stops, and learning and development are very important factors for success.
But, the war took place, I was hurt by all that happened to Iraq, and the Iraqis, and I couldn’t live on as if nothing has changed…
There was a lot of evil in Iraq at the time of Saddam Hussein, and the Iraqis, in spite of all their suffering and tries, couldn’t stop it, or eliminate it. And today I see that evils increased in Iraq, and all doors are open for them….so we must contribute to decrees the effects of evil upon us, and extend a helping hand to people, regardless of facing dangers….
Of course, I would have had a flourishing future in my career, if I would have stayed on… becoming the agent of new companies, more work, success, and new acquaintances… but I no longer want this horizon… I see it as a limited one, not fit to my ambitions… I want to help as much people as I can, through work, not business based on interests… social work, as a first priority. I do not even like politics, because it is dishonest, and untruthful, right and wrong mingles in it, and lies are more frequent than truth…
I found it a dirty game, so I hated it…
I am looking for a clean field to deal with people in need… the crushed, who were the victims of the injustice of the strong, those who had no chances to gain a good livelihood. Through humanitarian Societies, or governmental programs in the future, to support and care for them, I wish to extend a helping hand, to help them for their own good.
And, the most social category worthy of interest, are women, and their children, because they are responsible for bringing up the future generations… how do we give such a responsibility to someone who is ignorant, and doesn't have the knowledge, experience, or education? What kind of a generation it would be, resulting from ignorant, mistreated women?
The woman deserves to have social, educational, and health care, so the outcome would reflect positively upon her, and undoubtedly, on the lives of her daughters and sons.
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Whoever thinks that caring for women means giving them the chance to become rebels against family, husbands, and society, is a mistaken ignorant.
If you had a partner in life, would you prefer him to be a thick-minded, dumb, ignorant? Or to be open-minded, joining in the important family decisions?
I know that some would prefer her to be dumb….ha, ha,ha. But, on the long run, he would become tired, and sorry. There has to be an understanding partner, for life would become more beautiful with one. And the mentality of being the only power-source, and decision-maker in the family must be changed.
Yes, the man's position in the family is secure, and respected, but the woman's position is the one that needs to be lifted, and be improved. Women are generally unjustly treated in our societies, even those with degrees, and those who work….she cannot always be sure to have a just, understanding husband… for he might refer to some selfish, unjust behaviors, on many occasions…because he knows that the general notions in society support him, and are in consent.
The notions of religion are different from those of society. The Islamic Religion is much more fare to women, than the back-wards notions of society.
A lot of injustice was heaped upon women in our Islamic world, and usually religion is the accused, but I do not see it as the real reason.
Yes, there are some certain points in religion concerning women, such as in Inheritance, giving testimony in front of a judge, the veil, and the man's supremacy upon her in the family, along with his right to marry more than once, but with the condition of utmost just treatment between the wives.
How many men would respect this condition of justice??
And who would stand up to him if he didn't??
Law…the courts??
Women do not usually want to refer to law, because they are usually shy, and wouldn't want to ruin the relation with the husband completely.
The injustice to women has become a habit, and a heritage…. I know of many Muslim women who want to put on the Veil, but are afraid of their husbands! I know about a friend of mine who put on the veil, and her husband threatened to divorce her if she wouldn't take it off, she asked for the advice of many people she knew, and they advised her to take off the veil to hold on to her house and family from destruction…. Ha,ha,ha…
Who then destroyed Islam, and harmed the Religion more than the Muslims themselves??
Obeying the husband is a Must, yes. But obeying him even in an unjust point??
If he wanted to drink alcohol, and she opposed him, complaining against that, she wouldn't find a listing ear to do her justice. If he wanted, he could enforce anything upon her, like quitting work, not visiting her parents, or retreating from joining the general social life. He could enforce his own opinion, in having more children, or not having more children, even though she might want to… he might oppose her wish to gain more knowledge, without influencing the family, or causing any damage to their life… who shall defend her, and support her?
If he had any "unclean" women relations, and she had all the evidence against him, who shall punish him, or stop him??
If the woman complained against all this, who would do her justice, and listen to her??
Everybody would tell her to be patient, and endure, or " he is right, so, obey" !
Who established such values?? Not Religion…Religion is innocent of all this injustice.
And most women are peaceful, feeling shy from talking publicly about this suffering, that deforms and hurts what's inside of them, their dreams, and beautiful ambitions.
At the same time, the Media if full of Made-up women, in make-up, and revealing clothes, the men would love to look at them, watching them dancing and singing on the Arabic Satellite Channels… or on magazine pages.
There is no justice…. This faction, who is very much "loose" from the values of society, is basking in fame and protection, while the decent faction, those who possess logical, quiet ambitions, are unjustly treated, and nobody wants to hear them, or do them justice.
It is a world ill with a split-personality.
This split-personality we inherited from false leaders, claiming the love of Islam, while destroying it at the same time.
Saddam Hussein, for instant, leads a "Campaign of Faith" to teach the Holy Quran, while he wages a war against Iran, making the Muslim kill his brother, the other Muslim. For what?
Weren't the interests of the west at stake, then? Hummmm.
Then, he attacked Kuwait, destroying a Muslim country, killing and imprisoning Muslim men, committing violence against Muslim women? Thus implanting hatred between the Iraqis and Kuwaitis for long years.
He then announced he shall liberate Jerusalem, and wrote " ALLAH IS GREAT" on the Iraqi flag??
A comedy, huh.
Of course, many fools believed him, inside and outside of Iraq, running behind him and yelling; This is the great Muslim leader.
And in other Arab countries, they used to, and still are, beating prisoners, and threaten to rape their women, to force them to give confessions?
What is left of Islam?
I believe that what is happening to us is the punishment of GOD, so we would wake up from our slumber, and reform our deformed path. So we would be more honest in our lives and way of thinking, in our relations with GOD, and with each other.
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Do we leave the relations between husband and wife to the chances of luck? He might be peaceful, nice, and understanding, so the woman would live joyfully in his partnership. Or he might be a mean, unjust miser, so she would live in hell? Isn't society supposed to move on progressively, finding solutions to bestow justice to women, who are " half the family"? the women who contribute to the joy of this family? Who carry the responsibility of raising children, teaching them the principles, and the beautiful values of life, due to the fact of their spending longer times with the children, even if they worked outside the house, for they give the relation with their children a priority in life, that is not out weighted by any other? The man usually gets home tired, seeking food and rest… while the woman, as she gets home tired from her job, would not seek rest for herself, but wants to check upon her house and children, giving them her love and attention, inquiring after their welfare, and that would make her forget the toll of the whole day.
As for non-working mothers, they have been deprived of life, closing the doors with the outside world for the sake of one item only: The Family and children care.
The spirit of sacrifice and self denial exists in the hearts of women… and I see them deserving love and care more than others.
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I have been reading a book issued by “Amnesty International”, which is an International, Voluntary, Non-Governmental Organization. This book was issued by them in 1995, speaking of Human Rights in general, and Women’s rights specifically.
The book is painful, carrying between its two covers the injustice inflicted upon humans, by their fellow humans, during wars and conflicts, all over the world.
By GOD, it is a shameful history…
The book says, that the percentage of civilian casualties in World War I was only 5 %, then, in World War II, the number rose to 50 %, then, in Civil wars since the Seventies, eighties, and nineties, the number rose to 80 %. With women and children representing most of the victims, because most men take part in wars and conflicts.
Does this mean that the reason of the world’s destruction is men, being mostly the active members in politics, conflicts, and the decisions to start wars?
Of course there is a percentage of peaceful men on earth, but, what have those done, to stop the follies of other men? Women and children are subjected to religious, ethnic, or sect massacres, they are subjected to forced immigrations from their towns and villages, and during all these conditions, they are subjected to beating, insults, and all kinds of assaults, shaming the human conscience.
By GOD, if I went to the jungle, and spoke to the animals by a language they would understand, I would have been ashamed to tell them what humans are doing to each other. Animals wouldn’t do to each other what humans are doing to each other.
And Man is supposed to be the master of all creatures, the follower of GOD on earth. As for me, I no longer see him like this….for the time of the Prophets is gone, like Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad, GOD Bless them all, and so the times of reforming men, people like Gandhi, and Marten Luther King… today, the seats of power and authority are seized by men of another kind… men possessing talents like lying, turning the truth upside down, and forging what is right, men whose hearts are blinded by greed, self-interests, and selfishness, laughing upon the fools who believe in them, follow them, and clap for them, while they fill earth with corruption…. Claming they are the reformers.
These men hold in their hands not only the military weapons, but a strong, mighty weapon, a weapon that drives people’s minds, and wash their brains, wherever they were; the Media, and its various means. The Newspapers and Magazines, the Radio and TV., and a big portion of the Internet…all these are used to market the literature of hate, violence, and ignorance.
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If there was no mercy between the people on this earth, nor one of them would be kind to the other, or wish what is good to others of his kind, if they have believed all the calls of violence and malice raised by the spiteful ignorant, on various media outlets, while they are hiding, faceless, like Al-Zarqawi, and Bin Laden, for those, and whoever responds to them, are the tools for marketing hate and destruction on earth.
And whoever drags the whole world behind him, just to answer back to Al-Zarqawi, and Bin Laden, bears more follies, and more hatreds.
We became the victims of violence and hate…. We came to a position of having to choose: either…. Or. Chose where to stand, either with this fool, or that, and both are dragging the world to its doom.
Where are the wise men? Where are the leaders who possess wisdom, and the quietness in handling the people’s public issues? Where is the feeling of responsibility to prevent blood shedding on earth?
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Once more, the world needs leaders like Gandhi, and Marten Luther King….. To market the policy of non-violence. And people are in the dark, sinking… listening, believing, and their minds are washed, and many times they would be divided, a supporter, and an opposer.
But the whole balance works for the benefit of a small, evil faction, that rules the world’s destiny, and its people, leading them like sheep to the slaughter, without their feeling…. fighting and arguing, on their way to the slaughter: I am right, and you are wrong.
Fools……merely fools.
When will they stop, and give attention, opening their eyes, realizing to what fate they are moving?
I mean, will they stop, and question the Shepard, before it is too late?? What are you doing? Where are you leading us? Huh.
I wish this would happen one day…. And what is left of this miserable humanity on earth would be saved.
Before it is too late.
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Translated by May / Baghdad.