A Family in Baghdad

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
Good morning…
It’s been raining for two days in Baghdad…the streets and trees have been washed, the city looks nicer when clean…
I love the smell of rain…a nice smell of humidity spreading in the air, and the earth has a special smell when rain falls on it for the first time, after a period of drought…
The rain is richness…and a gift, from GOD in heaven…
I wish well to all humans on this earth.
I wish that peace would pour on then, as rain does….
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It is now 8 a.m., the results of the American elections aren’t announced yet, but the numbers indicate an advancement of Bush.
So, well, as I expected, perhaps Bush will win again.
The atmosphere there pushes people to consider their security and the September events as priorities, then the issue of Iraq and its problems, as the second item.
I can almost feel the sadness and disappointment of those who supported Kerry, to help the Iraqis, and to open a door of “the lesser evil” for them.
But the majority of Iraqis say: It makes no difference…even if Kerry comes along, we do not anticipate a real difference in the American policy towards us… look at us, since 1990, since Bush Senior, then Clinton, then Bush junior, what change took place towards us???
Nothing…the same program is repeated, and the same vision.
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Last evening I was tired, and strained, when an American Radio Station called me in the evening, and asked me about the Iraqi’s opinion in the American elections, does it concern them?
I said: Of course it concerns them…
- And what are the people’s viewpoints??
That was a difficult question, but I like truthfulness and honesty more that anything else.
The Iraqi street is divided, like the American street( and that supports the theory that all humans are alike), some consider that Bush is better, in spite of all his faults and mistakes…
(…listen, I’ll stop for a while, there is a big explosion that smashed the glass of my windows again, ... oh, my GOD…).
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I checked the house, the kitchen windows, the guests room, this room, Majid’s room… all the glass we had fitted a few weeks ago, was smashed again today…
I shall go to work in a little while, and the glass shop workman shall come in the afternoon to fit new glass…
I suppose the glass shop owner in our neighborhood has grown richer in this period, from the amount mishaps we had…
I hear helicopter planes thundering in the sky…and the sound of the Iraqi Police car’s sirens…in a few hours we shall understand what exactly happened??
The house if full of boxes, and the packages ready to move to the new house… when shall I actually move, and get rid of this daily torture here??
And here are new heaps of glass that needs to be collected and cleaned…
I am sick of all this nonsense, and tired… as if life is moving in vain….
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I shall go to work….and write later when I get back home, that is, IF I remained alive, huh.
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I got back home at 2 p.m…. it was a tiring, busy day, among preparing price offers for water testing equipments, for some state organizations, then completing the monthly inventory for the shop’s sales…and in between taking phone calls, and the arguments and questions of customers…I got a headache, and fatigue…
And…there is a damned mouse in the shop, we apply a different plan every day to catch him, to no avail…but today, at the end of the work day, we left for him a piece of wood, full of strong glue, and a chunk of bananas…ha,ha,ha… what a Bourgeois Mouse? We shall see the outcome by today’s afternoon, or tomorrow morning.
On my way back home, I saw that the winter vegetables has arrived at the markets, that the side walks were full again with hills of fresh Lettuce, sacks of Carrots, Cabbages, and Chards… I smiled, my heart feeling happy by the approaching winter… here it comes, at last…
I remembered my mother, GOD bless her soul, when she used to come and visit me, and we would buy these vegetables from the market, she would smile and tell me: Look at Iraq, how much riches it has?? It is full of riches…water, lands, crops, and Oil….
I used to smile, taking her words as exaggeration… but today, I remember her with tears in my eyes…
I discovered that I have inherited from her, and from my father, the love of Iraq and its land… and that I passed on this love to my sons…
Thank GOD they didn’t turn out to be selfish, loving only themselves, and their interests, not caring about others. This is a disease that hits some people, and they would pass it on to their children, all to the pity.
The weather is getting a little colder… while some people are still wearing half- sleeves clothes. But we started opening our closets, and picking up long-sleeved cotton clothes, as a start… then, in a few weeks time, we shall be wearing wool, and lighting our heaters.
Winter is beautiful, its cold a lot more merciful than the heat of summer… but poor people face in winter the hardships of life, the need of clothes, and extra blankets, and under the rain and cold, diseases multiply.
Perhaps the poor love summer, with all its faults…. They are right!
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I sent the driver to call the owner of the nearby glass shop…to take the measurements of the windows, whose glass was smashed again this morning…
I think I started hating this house, waiting for the hour of salvation, and we are supposed to move in a few days’ time to the new house, but I see as if the time is heavy, and does not move…
I put the fruits and vegetables on the kitchen table…then went to sleep, I was very tired…I said; I’ll cook just before the Fast breaking time…I have enough time.
I woke up at 4 p.m., on the noise of the workers hammering the Aluminum Window frames, which were badly deformed by the force of the latest explosions… I went downstairs…I found that the kitchen was still with its broken window, and so was the bedroom…while they were fixing the guest’s room… my heart was clenched, by the sight of the house in a mess…all the boxes were covered by dust and broken glass…while the TV. Was speaking loudly about the results of the American Elections, and the high probability of Bush’s winning…. I felt a high charge of depression enveloping me… I went upstairs again… I had no wish to do anything…
I have a strong feeling of fatigue, and nausea.
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It is now 6.30 p.m…. the workers have finished mounting the glass, and I have finished cleaning the rooms of it, and gathered the remains in a Styrofoam box.
They say that this morning’s explosion was a trapped car near the Airport’s gates…
I feel hungry, but I have no wish to eat…
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I spent yesterday’s evening with Khalid, in a tour of furniture shops…… I want to buy a sofa set for the guest’s rooms in the new house… prices are fiery… but the pieces available were beautiful, mostly imported…some were Egyptians or Turkish. Or the wood was imported, and the manufacture was local, but very efficiently done, and beautiful, made to a catalogue… prices ranged between $ 900-2500… as for the local made, with local wood, the prices ranged from I.D. 500,000-1,000,000, (Iraqi Dienaars).
The most expensive were the gold colored, which contained wood carvings ($2000 or more), but I do not like that model much, it looks old fashioned, but they say such models are back to the markets today. I do not like chasing the Mode blindly.
Then I found that the carpets are also variant in origins and quality…but its prices were good and reasonably low, because importing it by large quantities lowered down the price, for there are the beautiful Iraqi carpets, locally made…and in the markets you also find Egyptian, Malaysian, Vietnamese, and European carpets… AH… these are the details of the joyful life…without the talk of wars, blood, and depression… this is how I think people outside Iraq live, talk, and discuss such matters… but we seemed to have forgotten it here… the whole world moves around us, in the fashion of clothes, furniture, and technological developments… while we sink here, in the stories of explosions, Al-Zarqawi, Fallujah, and others…. As if we have been cornered here in a dark tunnel…. Limited, suffocating, gloomy, boring, where life stops flowing….
Life is a flowing torrent of events…. How silly it becomes, if it stops flowing??
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The salaries of the state employees have improved, so, the prices of all merchandises has risen, especially the imported ones. The salaries used to be I.D 10,000-25,000 , but now they are I.D 300,000-400,000 … I was very happy to see that the Teacher’s salaries have also improved… the families can afford to buy new clothes for their children, for the feast, and the school year… or buy some electric equipments for the house, furniture, or a car.
Yes, there are some bright aspects in our lives, in spite of the calamities.
And I know that some fool will jump and say: Huh? Admit it, there are some bright sides to this war… I would laugh and say; all of life is a mixture of bright sides and dark sides…but in our minds we can comprehend how much the percentage is of this and that, and how logical it is, or illogical…
The bright sides were always there, even in the times of Saddam Hussein… (Baghdad was clean, we had security, the thieves were afraid of the state, and most of them were in prison), but, there was also political repression, freedom restraint, mass graves, and dictatorship. Now, the state employee’s salaries improved, the importation of everything is open; cars, furniture, and most other needs, but, there is also a lack of security, thieves, murderers, kidnappings, assassinations, explosions, terrorists, occupation forces, clashes…and new mass graves.
Am I exaggerating, or the pictures are realistic, in both cases???
But we hate the dark sides, always aiming at removing them from our lives… I think we are all alike in this theory…. Always looking for the best in our lives…
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The process of elections is a two-edged weapon…
From the one side, it gives the resolve and enthusiasm to participate, in the hope that the change towards the better occurs… and on the other side, perhaps it causes frustration, if the results come as the opposite of our wishes…
I can almost feel the sadness of the Americans who wanted to remove Bush, but didn’t succeed…
We have a saying, which we always repeat: Patience is Beautiful… and everything goes by the will of The CREATOR….not by the will of humans… and the choice in front of us in all cases is; not to lose hope, keep dreaming of what we want, and if it wasn’t fulfilled tomorrow, then maybe after tomorrow…
And if not this year…then maybe the next year…
We keep on our energy and conviction…. That is what the days and experiences taught us…
How many a hateful bosses we had to endure during a job?? But we didn’t stop working, and producing… and how many a partner in work or life, who was hateful, and intolerable, we endured, and life went on with us, and we worked, produced, and scored successes in our lives, without making that an excuse for failure, and defeat??
I have always learned from my experiences that; a blow that bothers you, shall make you stronger later, and more determinate…
And I always tell my self: next time the result will always be better. And in most cases…yes, the result is better, after I have been patient, older, and learned something new and useful from life.
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By the presence of Bush or Kerry, we expect no major changes in our lives…in Iraq, or the Middle East… things swill go on as they are…
But I do wish our determination and faith in our capability in making a better tomorrow…will remain, and wouldn’t change…nor weaken.
Half of America is with Bush, and his war on terrorism, his staying in Iraq… and the other half is against that idea.
It is just that I am certain, that each American who voted to Bush, gave the priority to the security of America…and sacrificed for this goal…
All right, the picture is clear now… every American soldier or civilian here or there, who supports Bush, has justified the war on Iraq, and agreed to it, to guarantee the safety of his country, and its stability…
And I will not allow any of them to become a philosopher, saying he supported it to liberate Iraq, or for the love of Iraqis, and the urge to help them. These slogans look like a (concealing letter)….
Protecting America is the first, and last goal… then, the justification to enter the Iraqi swamp, with honeyed words, to gain support…in Iraq, and the whole world.
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In IRAQ, like all other nations in the world, the street is also divided…
Some people, whose life and financial income has improved, support Bush, believing he came for them…(I don’t know whether they are selfish, and shortsighted, thinking only through the little circle of their lives, forgetting the suffering of others).
The others see, and expect, more violence, destruction, and blood…
I, like so many others, see that the Iraqi field has become a battle between America and its enemies in the world… the Iraqis being the victims between the two sides… there is an extremist violence that reveals deep hatreds, so it no longer cares who are the victims??
Iraqi Police, Iraqi civilians, an innocent Japanese hostage, or an American soldier…all alike.
I dream that IF this conflict and its symbols would stand on a carpet, then I would have called all the people I know, who love the best for Iraq, to help me drag this carpet, and bring it on to the gates of the Iraqi boarders… whatever boarder… then shake it strongly, so that everything on it would fall away from us… and let them all go to hell… so we could live in peace… building our lives, our country all over again…..
HA…HA…HA…HA…HA
Spiteful dreams…. But I wish they would come true one day…
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Translated by May/ Baghdad.