Sunday, October 03, 2004
Thursday, 23rd September
I would like to talk of another subject…tiring, but I like talking about it, for it gives me a ray of hope in the coming tomorrow…
The Women's Society…and the first experience…
Oh, well, it was a confused experience, full of mistakes, much like the experience of the first love for each of us…a naive experience, full of dreams and fables…but it is a must, and shall be a lesson so we could be more mature and knowledgeable, in the coming experiences…
The experience with this Society is full of questions, because it is an experience in a new sphere in our lives.
The director of the Society lacked transparency in her dealings with the administration board members, that causes confrontations and disunion, which embitters the joy of voluntary public work…and deprives it of the necessary enthusiasm to get it done, and carrying on.
The Deputy Director demanded checking the accounts books, and the necessity of carrying out the administration board's recommendation in forming a financial committee, to supervise the spending of the society's funds.
And we, the members, demanded these things again, in later meetings, but the Director eluded these subjects, and opened other discussions in other topics, every meeting…
We went to the Ministry of Planning, and asked to meet the lady responsible for the Iraqi Non-Governmental Societies. We said we were members of a new society, in the administration board, but we have no experience… we do not know our rights, nor our duties, the internal regime is ambiguous, and brief…we want you to explain more..
She said: What is the problem??
We said: How are we to face the non-transparency of the leadership?? Is the financial responsibility collective, or is it the Director's only??
She said: Of course it is collective… spend nothing without the knowledge of the administration board, and form a committee for spending and financial monitoring…
We said: But the Director is stalling…
She said: Then form a pressure group (lobby) from the members, put pressure in resolutions, then vote for these resolutions in every meeting, and persist upon their implementation… maybe she would change, and respond…
We asked: We hear about some of the members, who submit some projects of investments and profits, like building hotels or residential flats, then ask the Director for their percentages??
She said: There are no investment projects, nor any percentages for the administration board… these are non-profit organizations… the only allowance is 5-7% for the society's expenditure…and the rest goes to the project itself, its employees, and the beneficiary families, for example.
We were so happy to hear this, the meeting was short, but the instructions were clear. I said to the other member with me: We shall try to pressure her to correct the path, and if she wouldn't respond, we should resign, and establish a new society.
*******************************************
The next day we had a meeting… we spoke strongly and clearly with the Director, then named the names of the financial committee, and the Account Books Supervision Committee… we saw she was silent, and dispirited…we have surprised her with the force of the new mass, and the order of our thoughts…
Yes, the meeting went on in the direction we wanted…
At the end of the meeting we walked to the street, stood on the curb, whispered, and laughed…there was a tiny, joyful feeling, a feeling of victory…
I told them: Here she is, responding to our demands, there is no need to form a new society.
They said: All right, we shall see…
But the Director did not let us enjoy these new ideas… she called us the next evening, one by one, and her calls were angry, and full of threats… she said to me: What is the internal regime?? It is a flexible thing we can change as we like…
I froze, remembering Saddam Hussein, this is what he used to say about the constitution and the laws of the state, and this is how he used to deal with them…
Then she said: Don't you ever think you can take the chair I am sitting on, not one of you, for I'll pull her by the hair, and throw her to the street, outside of the meeting…
I fell in laughter, discovering her true face, and my foolishness, how did I ever elect her, without knowing her true face??
But how could I have known…. Problems and clashes are what reveal the true faces of people…
*******************************************************
The next day we went to a lecture, by the title: (How to run organizations, and the duties of the administration board). The lecturer is an Iraqi Doctor working in an American organization established in 1983- (The National Democratic Institute), the N.D.I.
I told him before the lecture: Today, I have a big wish to listen to this lecture, even if it were from an American organization… the experiences of others in building their societies, and their institutions is a valuable thing I would like to see, and hear about… this is exactly what we need now.
But the lectures about the woman in out lives… those we did not agree upon, because it is the vision of another society, and we are supposed to hear from them, then modify it to something suitable to our lives and our society, and get some benefit out of it…
************************************
The lecture was excellent, and useful… the Doctor spoke about the idea of establishing the non-governmental, non-profit organizations…that the administration board is a group of people sharing a joint vision.
Yes, I liked this sentence very much; I finally found it, as if it were the secret key to entering the world of organizations, and their managing boards.
A joined vision, this is the point…
Where is the vision among us, at the administration board, in the organization I belong to?? Some of us are thinking with the business women mentality, outside the organization, and inside… she comes here to establish investment projects in the name of the organization, then ask insolently: How much shall my percentage be?? As if she is an auction dealer….
The other few of us want projects that develop the women's abilities, and help them in some way to improve their living conditions… but this current is besieged, because it is a minority in the administration board.
Where is the joined vision?? I laughed mockingly inside, discovering what a folly I have committed, when I joined with this bunch that I did not know, with no common issues between us…
*********************************
The Director called again the next day, repeating all the non-sense and threats, saying we shall gather tomorrow for a transitory meeting… that we shall take votes to punish the Deputy Director, because she sent an e-mail to the American organization that is funding us, speaking about financial problems. And that that was a wrong behavior, bypassing the centrality… and she could fire her, then perform a new election… tomorrow, a delegate of the American organization shall be present to investigate the subject, so tell him the Deputy Director is mistaken, then vote against her, to discharge her from her position…
I told her: yes, she might have made a mistake, but I won't allow her to become the escape goat… the major issue is the non-transparency in work, not bypassing…
She was angry, threatening…. It was a rough night… I was awake all night long, thinking. Swinging between standing up to her, in truthfulness, and take all her aggressiveness and brutishness… or to attempt easing down the tension, brighten up the atmosphere, and put on some courtesy…
By morning I had a severe headache, my face was pale, from lack of sleep, and much thinking…. But I decided to conclude the situation, and stand up to her; frankly… what is the point of staying with her… there is no joined vision at all… I am in the wrong place.
There is no need to keep quiet….
**********************************
We went to the meeting… the delegate came, we started the discussion, I mean the fight… for the Director didn't leave any room for the poor Deputy to present her view point… she interrupted her everytime, yelling in an angry, nervous way, the man kept signaling her to calm down, but in vain.
Of course she lied to him, saying that members of the administration board called her and asked her to punish the Deputy, because she called you without our permission…
We looked at each other and smiled…she talked in our name, and lied shamelessly…
The Deputy Director demanded the Account books be opened and checked, then check the silly expenses that depleted the budget of the Society, with no bills sometimes, but written by the Director's hand, and she refuses to be asked about how real these expenses were. She said to him: I have been working with the Society since the beginning of the year, I know the details of the true expenses, but the members present now are new, they do not know the details. Then she asked: If this was her standing with the books and accounts, how can we trust her? Will she spend the new funds according to her moods??
I knew she was right in every word she said, I supported her with all my heart…but her position was weak, for the Director monopolized the authority, and they feared her….
****************************************
I said to some of the members yesterday: If you permitted her to dispel the Deputy, she will kick us out one by one every time we tried to criticize her… open your eyes and be aware…
But today some of them were fools, scared, or hypocrite…
We had a secret vote to decide the names of the financial committee, I handed an empty paper… I had no mood to participate in such activities; there was some lying and cheating about…
I was surprised that my name was one of the three names chosen by vote. I did not show an interest… I had a growing feeling, by the minute, that this place was not worthy of me…there were no common things…
The Deputy stood up, angry because of the many interferences by the Director, and said to the man: I apologize for cutting this discussion…I resign, this Society does not do me honor, and I don't want to remain in it…then she walked out, so the man followed her, asking her to calm down, and come back…
I heard them talking loudly, in various words…she is rude, a liar, do not listen to her… if she remains, I shall quit…
Lab…lab…lab….
Empty words and hooting…
I looked at them and smiled, and inside of me, there was a wise woman who asked me: What are you doing here?? What is the common thing between you and them??
I stood up, smiled, and said: This is not a society…this is a fiasco.
Then I went out….
I saw the Deputy speaking to the man, he begged her to come back…he said: I notice that you are right and she is wrong, we will not finance her with one dime…
I said to him: She was mistaken with one point only, we should have written that e-mail, then sign it as a group of members of the administration board, three or four out of nine, then no one could have said we have bypassed…
We descended the stairs together, and stood on the curb… there was an absent member who supported us…so, we are three…we shall submit our collective resignation, and start forming a new society….
I went back home very relaxed…as if some rock has been lifted from my heart….
**********************************************
I spend these days calling many ladies, very carefully, because we want an honest quality that does not seek profits, nor achieving self benefits, in order to start forming a new society to help the Iraqi women…
The most important item is: The Joint Vision…
The vision, and the will to work in helping the Iraqi women, from various social categories… to promote them, to give them a helping hand, so they could participate in building a new society, and a new country…
I know the general conditions are dangerous… I know death and life walk together… so as building and destruction…
Fear and courage…
Lies and truths…
Hope and frustrations…
But this is how life is, every time, every where…
And life must triumph, and building, courage, truth and hope… one day.
And we shall be proud that we participated in fulfilling the beautiful dream in a better future…
If we run, fear, and hide, who will work to fulfill these wishes???
There are no legendary heroes…we, the ordinary people, build the present, and future… with our pains, tears, fears, courage, patience, and endurance…
We can do the good we want… and the hand of GOD goes with the company that acts right…HE shall make then victorious, and unwavering, Amen.
*********************************************
Translated by May\ Baghdad.
I would like to talk of another subject…tiring, but I like talking about it, for it gives me a ray of hope in the coming tomorrow…
The Women's Society…and the first experience…
Oh, well, it was a confused experience, full of mistakes, much like the experience of the first love for each of us…a naive experience, full of dreams and fables…but it is a must, and shall be a lesson so we could be more mature and knowledgeable, in the coming experiences…
The experience with this Society is full of questions, because it is an experience in a new sphere in our lives.
The director of the Society lacked transparency in her dealings with the administration board members, that causes confrontations and disunion, which embitters the joy of voluntary public work…and deprives it of the necessary enthusiasm to get it done, and carrying on.
The Deputy Director demanded checking the accounts books, and the necessity of carrying out the administration board's recommendation in forming a financial committee, to supervise the spending of the society's funds.
And we, the members, demanded these things again, in later meetings, but the Director eluded these subjects, and opened other discussions in other topics, every meeting…
We went to the Ministry of Planning, and asked to meet the lady responsible for the Iraqi Non-Governmental Societies. We said we were members of a new society, in the administration board, but we have no experience… we do not know our rights, nor our duties, the internal regime is ambiguous, and brief…we want you to explain more..
She said: What is the problem??
We said: How are we to face the non-transparency of the leadership?? Is the financial responsibility collective, or is it the Director's only??
She said: Of course it is collective… spend nothing without the knowledge of the administration board, and form a committee for spending and financial monitoring…
We said: But the Director is stalling…
She said: Then form a pressure group (lobby) from the members, put pressure in resolutions, then vote for these resolutions in every meeting, and persist upon their implementation… maybe she would change, and respond…
We asked: We hear about some of the members, who submit some projects of investments and profits, like building hotels or residential flats, then ask the Director for their percentages??
She said: There are no investment projects, nor any percentages for the administration board… these are non-profit organizations… the only allowance is 5-7% for the society's expenditure…and the rest goes to the project itself, its employees, and the beneficiary families, for example.
We were so happy to hear this, the meeting was short, but the instructions were clear. I said to the other member with me: We shall try to pressure her to correct the path, and if she wouldn't respond, we should resign, and establish a new society.
*******************************************
The next day we had a meeting… we spoke strongly and clearly with the Director, then named the names of the financial committee, and the Account Books Supervision Committee… we saw she was silent, and dispirited…we have surprised her with the force of the new mass, and the order of our thoughts…
Yes, the meeting went on in the direction we wanted…
At the end of the meeting we walked to the street, stood on the curb, whispered, and laughed…there was a tiny, joyful feeling, a feeling of victory…
I told them: Here she is, responding to our demands, there is no need to form a new society.
They said: All right, we shall see…
But the Director did not let us enjoy these new ideas… she called us the next evening, one by one, and her calls were angry, and full of threats… she said to me: What is the internal regime?? It is a flexible thing we can change as we like…
I froze, remembering Saddam Hussein, this is what he used to say about the constitution and the laws of the state, and this is how he used to deal with them…
Then she said: Don't you ever think you can take the chair I am sitting on, not one of you, for I'll pull her by the hair, and throw her to the street, outside of the meeting…
I fell in laughter, discovering her true face, and my foolishness, how did I ever elect her, without knowing her true face??
But how could I have known…. Problems and clashes are what reveal the true faces of people…
*******************************************************
The next day we went to a lecture, by the title: (How to run organizations, and the duties of the administration board). The lecturer is an Iraqi Doctor working in an American organization established in 1983- (The National Democratic Institute), the N.D.I.
I told him before the lecture: Today, I have a big wish to listen to this lecture, even if it were from an American organization… the experiences of others in building their societies, and their institutions is a valuable thing I would like to see, and hear about… this is exactly what we need now.
But the lectures about the woman in out lives… those we did not agree upon, because it is the vision of another society, and we are supposed to hear from them, then modify it to something suitable to our lives and our society, and get some benefit out of it…
************************************
The lecture was excellent, and useful… the Doctor spoke about the idea of establishing the non-governmental, non-profit organizations…that the administration board is a group of people sharing a joint vision.
Yes, I liked this sentence very much; I finally found it, as if it were the secret key to entering the world of organizations, and their managing boards.
A joined vision, this is the point…
Where is the vision among us, at the administration board, in the organization I belong to?? Some of us are thinking with the business women mentality, outside the organization, and inside… she comes here to establish investment projects in the name of the organization, then ask insolently: How much shall my percentage be?? As if she is an auction dealer….
The other few of us want projects that develop the women's abilities, and help them in some way to improve their living conditions… but this current is besieged, because it is a minority in the administration board.
Where is the joined vision?? I laughed mockingly inside, discovering what a folly I have committed, when I joined with this bunch that I did not know, with no common issues between us…
*********************************
The Director called again the next day, repeating all the non-sense and threats, saying we shall gather tomorrow for a transitory meeting… that we shall take votes to punish the Deputy Director, because she sent an e-mail to the American organization that is funding us, speaking about financial problems. And that that was a wrong behavior, bypassing the centrality… and she could fire her, then perform a new election… tomorrow, a delegate of the American organization shall be present to investigate the subject, so tell him the Deputy Director is mistaken, then vote against her, to discharge her from her position…
I told her: yes, she might have made a mistake, but I won't allow her to become the escape goat… the major issue is the non-transparency in work, not bypassing…
She was angry, threatening…. It was a rough night… I was awake all night long, thinking. Swinging between standing up to her, in truthfulness, and take all her aggressiveness and brutishness… or to attempt easing down the tension, brighten up the atmosphere, and put on some courtesy…
By morning I had a severe headache, my face was pale, from lack of sleep, and much thinking…. But I decided to conclude the situation, and stand up to her; frankly… what is the point of staying with her… there is no joined vision at all… I am in the wrong place.
There is no need to keep quiet….
**********************************
We went to the meeting… the delegate came, we started the discussion, I mean the fight… for the Director didn't leave any room for the poor Deputy to present her view point… she interrupted her everytime, yelling in an angry, nervous way, the man kept signaling her to calm down, but in vain.
Of course she lied to him, saying that members of the administration board called her and asked her to punish the Deputy, because she called you without our permission…
We looked at each other and smiled…she talked in our name, and lied shamelessly…
The Deputy Director demanded the Account books be opened and checked, then check the silly expenses that depleted the budget of the Society, with no bills sometimes, but written by the Director's hand, and she refuses to be asked about how real these expenses were. She said to him: I have been working with the Society since the beginning of the year, I know the details of the true expenses, but the members present now are new, they do not know the details. Then she asked: If this was her standing with the books and accounts, how can we trust her? Will she spend the new funds according to her moods??
I knew she was right in every word she said, I supported her with all my heart…but her position was weak, for the Director monopolized the authority, and they feared her….
****************************************
I said to some of the members yesterday: If you permitted her to dispel the Deputy, she will kick us out one by one every time we tried to criticize her… open your eyes and be aware…
But today some of them were fools, scared, or hypocrite…
We had a secret vote to decide the names of the financial committee, I handed an empty paper… I had no mood to participate in such activities; there was some lying and cheating about…
I was surprised that my name was one of the three names chosen by vote. I did not show an interest… I had a growing feeling, by the minute, that this place was not worthy of me…there were no common things…
The Deputy stood up, angry because of the many interferences by the Director, and said to the man: I apologize for cutting this discussion…I resign, this Society does not do me honor, and I don't want to remain in it…then she walked out, so the man followed her, asking her to calm down, and come back…
I heard them talking loudly, in various words…she is rude, a liar, do not listen to her… if she remains, I shall quit…
Lab…lab…lab….
Empty words and hooting…
I looked at them and smiled, and inside of me, there was a wise woman who asked me: What are you doing here?? What is the common thing between you and them??
I stood up, smiled, and said: This is not a society…this is a fiasco.
Then I went out….
I saw the Deputy speaking to the man, he begged her to come back…he said: I notice that you are right and she is wrong, we will not finance her with one dime…
I said to him: She was mistaken with one point only, we should have written that e-mail, then sign it as a group of members of the administration board, three or four out of nine, then no one could have said we have bypassed…
We descended the stairs together, and stood on the curb… there was an absent member who supported us…so, we are three…we shall submit our collective resignation, and start forming a new society….
I went back home very relaxed…as if some rock has been lifted from my heart….
**********************************************
I spend these days calling many ladies, very carefully, because we want an honest quality that does not seek profits, nor achieving self benefits, in order to start forming a new society to help the Iraqi women…
The most important item is: The Joint Vision…
The vision, and the will to work in helping the Iraqi women, from various social categories… to promote them, to give them a helping hand, so they could participate in building a new society, and a new country…
I know the general conditions are dangerous… I know death and life walk together… so as building and destruction…
Fear and courage…
Lies and truths…
Hope and frustrations…
But this is how life is, every time, every where…
And life must triumph, and building, courage, truth and hope… one day.
And we shall be proud that we participated in fulfilling the beautiful dream in a better future…
If we run, fear, and hide, who will work to fulfill these wishes???
There are no legendary heroes…we, the ordinary people, build the present, and future… with our pains, tears, fears, courage, patience, and endurance…
We can do the good we want… and the hand of GOD goes with the company that acts right…HE shall make then victorious, and unwavering, Amen.
*********************************************
Translated by May\ Baghdad.
# posted by Faiza Al-Araji @ 7:09 pm 
