Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Wednesday Dec 24, 2003,

I woke up 7 in the morning, a bit later that usual. The weather was very cold less than 10 degrees. The house was dark and cold, I don’t know why this description reminds me of a grave? We had a quick breakfast and then the kids went out to their studies. Azzam and Raed are sleeping. I am happy when Raed spends the night at the house. He is so busy and spends most nights outside our house. The electric generator is running and is making a thick noise. There is a problem. Azzam goes out to check it and then he turns it off. He said that we need to call a technician to look at it in the afternoon. I became very annoyed, this generator is an important member of the family. The house, I mean life, without the generator is unbearable. The national electricity wasn’t on all day yesterday except for a short period in the afternoon. The generator was on from 3 in the afternoon till 1 in the morning since Majed was studying till late. Before we went to sleep we heard distant explosions that lasted for an hour or two, we don’t know the source of these explosions. Today we found out that there were military clashes in “Al Doura” area in southern Baghdad. In the afternoon the technician came and fixed a small problem. “Alhamdu Li Lahh” (Arabic for Thank God). The life returned to the house. But the water was very cold, I had to wait for hours until it got warmed up so that I could wash my hair. I was wondering how and when do other people that don’t own a generator take baths? At night the darkness is frightening. We no longer go out to restaurants or visit friends or relatives in the evening. Even the phone lines haven’t been repaired in the areas where the phone lines were bombed by the American army. The result is that no visits no phone call and no stroll around Baghdad. What would I see? I would get sad and depressed. I would see a sad city run down by war. In every street you can see the remnants of bombing, fire or destruction. I don’t know who did this? The foreigners or the locals. The sight of the American military machines are everywhere. The soldiers wonder around the street with machine guns pointed at our face. They ride the pavements with their tanks when they need to. All the street pavements are cracked as a result. I see a different Baghdad, a Baghdad I didn’t know before. A humiliated and occupied Baghdad. The same goes for the people. And then comes the checkpoints, slow traffic, lights flashed in our faces as if we were criminals. Sometimes the American soldier will ask us to get out of the car in the cold for inspections, then he will apologize about disturbing us in a polite and respectful manner. I want to ask him what brought you to the end of the world, to Baghdad? Don’t tell me you came here for our sake or to liberate us. Who will believe you? Do you believe it yourself?

Everybody says we are not against the change but not like this. We hoped that the change would come on the hands of Iraqis. It would have been more convincing, beautiful and joyful. But now everybody is repelled. Who accepts to wake up in the morning to see a foreign army, armed to their teeth filling our city? Had the change came from within us they would have found limitless support. We wouldn’t have lost security and we wouldn’t have witnessed the looting and executions. We would have seen an authority representing the people that is capable of restraining the masses. This authority wouldn’t have allowed for the revenge, laws would have been followed. The law is above everybody. It has been eight months since the fall of the regime and we still have murders and executions going on. Whoever has a list of names should hurry to go through it before a new government and constitution are formed. That is the reality today. We won’t forget the opposition parties that were abroad and now are getting revenge at the symbols that bothered them in the past. Anyway, I think that the war crime trials will be held later will find that all the accused are dead already. They have been executed already. This is the new justice in Iraq, our new freedom….. Welcome!

[translation provided by www.ihath.com]

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