Saturday, December 20, 2003

 
where am I from?

i have this problem all the time .. where r u from?

and i start like .. mmmm .. well ..

and .. "THE story"



me: i was born in baghdad .. but i left it when i was 40 days old .. :")



pushy fat girly: so .. you are Iraqi .. cool



me: noo! I'm not! :") my mother is .. well .. my father is palistinan :")



meat ball: SO! you are palisinian? :O?



me: noo! I'm not :") i mean .. i've never been there .. but i have a jordanian passport :")
i spent my childhood in lebanon and saudi arabia and .. whatever ..



ugly face: oh! so where r u from?



:")



well ..



dont you feel better now wafa?
;")
wafa is a friend of mine, living in london, and having a similar problem of .. mmmm .. . aaaaa .. I spent my childhood in nowhere ..

:")


 
Hamsa and Jo are trying to convince me. But I don't feel like it. "Holding a party in my/our house???", Emaar????.
Emaar is the Iraqi NGO I am supposed to be the great general director leading everyone to no_where .. blah ..

whatever ..

Its not the best time for parties here.


 
Hey guys,,am khalid..am not raed..an not majid..am not faiza..am KHALID and it is the first time we meet cause i used to have better things to do in my life.
SO...and since my stories always start with So, i'll share this story with you.
but before that, which kind of people blog in the same place with their mum..ha? wierdos.
couple of days ago..one of the guys in my class decided to give us a break of the " Steel structures" lesson, basically, the doctor is a nice, alittle bit dull person..he is so "ROSS" from friends.
my wiked friend..bought a really big "taraqa" which is kind of a very loud fire work..and he made some arrangmetsnt so he can fire it up from his place in the classroom.
ok, few silent moments passed..while everyone was waiting..and...bom..no actually it was b o o o m...and everyone stood up at the same moment and the students started to scream " a booomb..doctoorrr..we dont wana die here..we cant give that much in the line of eduacation..our parents expect to c us again..etc" while the girls started to scream and it was a reallllyy big mess.
the poor doctor was really astonished..he decided to take the lead and act according to his posission..so he started shouting" my children..calm down..if we were supposed to die here we will die here..we must be strong..we shouldnt let this stop us from living our lifes.."and so on. it was a big comedian seen.. which gave us a reason to laugh for minutes..but at the same time..it breaks your tears out when you remember, that everyday in Baghdad,,,this could happen to you for real.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

 
THREE to TEN years behind bars, is what I'll get if "they" got me buying petrol from the "black market"!!!!

I was reading this arabic leaflet (full of grammer mistakes) printed and distributed last week with my eyes opened .. opened very much .. this way >> OO


YEARS? not DAYS?


Ladies and gentlemen, you either wait for 6 hours in the gas station queue, wondering how to keep theifs and bullets away from your cars, or you'll enjoy our prisons of freedom for the rest of your life.

HOW DARE YOU BUY PETROL FROM THE MASS DISTRACTION MARKET ??


Other unemployed free people, you either stop drinking and selling petrol or you'll be considered as "criminals", and the new Iraqi courts will put you in freedom cells; comfortable beds with free breakfast


 
where are you mam? start bloging for god's sake ..

Monday, December 15, 2003

 
Ok .. I know I know .. i MUST say something about the arrest of Saddam

How does it feel like? haa?
Everyone is expecting me to answer.
Whatever..

Salam told me that some of my analysis about Saddam's capture are "political incorrect", so allow me to be politically correct and please everyone :")


Saddam was a bastard, yessss .. a bastard. He doesn't even know his father! haa haaaaa (was that funny enough?)
Saddam was such a criminal, a serial killer; stole the lives of millions of Iraqi people (e.g. Halabcha hyper_extra famous story), and other millions from his neighbors' people (Iran, Q8 (including the 600 prisoners), maybe some Jordanians and Palestinians too).
Saddam dried the marshes, and killed other millions of birds and fishes.
poor birdies :"(
(We can call him the environmental non_friendly bastard)
haa Haaa HAAAAAAAA
Funnyyyyyyyyyy!!! :")

What do you want to do with him?
No, don't kill him. Let us start the Saddam Show first, (let it be more funny and interesting than the Milosevic one please).
Put cameras in his cell, haaa Haaaaaa :") and let us watch him sitting there, on his bed, alone, remembering his dreams, and nightmares, understanding the meaning of true life.

did I forget to mention the mass graves? :"O

shout and jump .. everybody say woooooooooooo
scream scream scream scream

Aaannnddd .. Let's party

:")


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