A Family in Baghdad

السبت 23 كانون الاول 2006
السلام عليكم
أرى أن العام الحالي على وشك ان يودعنا ويمضي...
ستأتي بعد أيام قليلة عطلة عيد الميلاد للمسيحيين ,
وأيضا بعدها بفترة قصيرة , سيأتي عيد الأضحى, العيد الكبير للمسلمين

والعراقيون ما عادوا يعرفون طعم هذه الاعياد, وما هو طعم العيش في مدن تغرق في الهدوء والطمانينة ؟
العراق يحترق بنار حرب غبية , لم تترك بيتا هناك الا وأصابته بالأذى , بطريقة أو بأخرى...
فالعوائل العراقية اما فقدت بعض افرادها بالموت او الاعتقال او الخطف او الاغتيال , أو هربت العائلة وهجرت بيتها وجيرانها وذكرياتها, أو فقدت رزقها وتدهور حالها المعاشي نحو الأسوأ فالأسوأ...
وكلنا صابرون, كل واحد فينا صابر وينتظر أن تنطفيء هذه النار, وتتصلح الامور, وتعود عجلة الحياة لتدور بصورة طبيعية , أمان, واستقرار, وعمل, ومدارس وجامعات , وطلاب وطالبات , وامهات واباء واطفال يعيشون ببيوت فيها ماء وكهرباء , ويخرجون الى أسواق تجارية, وشوارع نظيفة هادئة مكتظة بالسيارات, واشارات مرور تعمل....هذه ملامح مدن تعيش حياة طبيعية...

في العراق , تلاشت هذه الملامح قليلا قليلا ....
متى تعود الحياة الى هناك بصورتها الطبيعية؟
لا احد يعلم ...
حتى بوش البطل ورفاقه الذين خططوا وشنوا الحرب علينا, لا يعرفون متى وكيف يخرجون من هذا المازق ..
الله وحده يعلم....

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في هذه الايام حزني يكبر...لا ادري ,
ربما لأنني أتذكر كيف كنت استقبل العيد في الماضي, أقصد قبل الحرب على العراق, لست وحدي, فهذا ربما شعور كل الأمهات العراقيات مثلي...
كنت حريصة على شراء ملابس العيد لكل افراد العائلة...
وتجهيز ميزانية لحلويات العيد , والشكولاته , والعصير..
وتنظيف البيت وتلميع الاثاث وغسل الستائر وتنظيف زجاج الشبابيك..
وغسل الكراج والعناية بمنظر الحديقة والزهور والنباتات فيها..
واذهب للكوافيرة اعتني بشعري وأظافري , قبل العيد...
أما الان, فلا اعمل اي شيء من هذا ...

وحتى عندما كان اولادي صغار, وكنا نعيش في عمان, وتأتي اعياد راس السنة الميلادية, والشوارع يظهر فيها اناس يحملون الاجراس ويلبسون ملابس بابا نويل الحمراء والبيضاء, كان اولادي يصيبهم الجنون, ويصرخون ويتوسلون, ماما , بابا, نريد ان ننزل ونشتري من هذا المحل..

اطفال ابرياء, واصحاب محلات تجارية ماكرين, يستدرجون الاباء والامهات ليلبوا طلبات اولادهم وبناتهم , المعادلة مرتبة, كل واحد له فيها دور معين..
وكنت اشتري لهم بالونات , وشجرة عيد ميلاد صغيرة عليها انوارتنطفي وتضيء, وكذلك لعبة بابا نويل كبيرة تجلس على ركن في غرفة الجلوس
لم اكن افكر نحن مسلمون, وهذه طقوس مسيحيين...
كانت الامور هادئة وعادية ولا يوجد ثمة توتر او تحسس من هذه الاشياء, كما يحدث حاليا..
الزمن تغير, والناس تغيروا...
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هذه الايام تقترب الاعياد , لكن قلبي حزين..
لست تلك الانسانة نفسها قبل سنوات,
تفكيري تغير كثيرا , وحتى قلبي ما عاد هو نفسه...
هذه الايام عقلي وقلبي مشغولان ويفكران بمساعدة العوائل العراقية التي تعاني من مصائب عديدة
ثمة عوائل فقدت المعيل, او فقدت الابناء, او فقدت البيت كله وسكنت في خيمة تنتظر العودة للبيت, او فيها جريح او معوق, لا علاج له , ليس ثمة من يدفع اجور العلاج ,
ثمة عوائل ليس لديها ما تأكل , ليس لديها خبز يومها ...
وثمة عراقيون ما زالوا في السجون والمعتقلات , رجال ونساء, ينتظرون من يهتم بهم , ويساعد على اطلاق سراحهم..

كنت انظر بالامس الى الناس هنا في عمان, في احد الاسواق التجارية, وهم لاهون , الموسيقى والاغاني في اعلى صوت , والشباب يضحك ويمرح, والامهات يسحبن اطفالهن ويحملن اكياس مختلفة من مشتريات العيد ...
وشاشات تلفزيونات كبيرة في الاسواق عليها فديو كليب اغاني نساء يتدلعن ويغنين وهن شبه عاريات
احسست بغربة شديدة, لا توجد لغة مشتركة بيني وبين هذا الجو ..
قررت ان انسحب بسرعة لأن الصداع بدأ يدق في رأسي....


كنت افكر, لو شعر كل انسان بمعاناة غيره, ما حصل الظلم في العالم
لو عاش الناس متكاتفين , يدافع بعضهم عن بعض, ما اعطوا الفرصة للمجرمين والاشرار ان ينتصروا
لو ان كل عائلة, فكرت بطريقة ان مايحدث لغيري يعنيني, وينبغي ان اوقف الظلم ضد غيري,
وينبغي ان تعيش كل العوائل مثلنا , ببيوتها واطفالها, سعيدة هانئة مرتاحة البال,
لما كان لهذا الظلم ان يسود العالم وينتشر...
الناس للاسف يعيشون بعقلية : ماشأني انا؟
عقلية النملة , لا ترى الا مسافة قصيرة ...
وقد احاطت بهم الاعلانات من كل جانب , حتى يشتروا ما هو جديد وجميل ورخيص,
احذية وملابس وساعات وعطور وموبايلات ومجوهرات واثاث وكهربائيات و...و...
الراديو والتلفزيون والصحف والمجلات والانترنت تمتليء كلها بالدعايات لشراء مختلف المنتجات
وتغري الناس وتعمي عيونهم...
وتبقيهم يدورون في حلقة مفرغة من الانانية وحب الذات, وحب الشراء والاستهلاك , ونسيان شيء اسمه معاناة الفقير أو المظلوم ..
من سيهتم؟
هذه هي التربية في هذا الزمن ,
والناس هم ابناء زمانهم ...
أو ربما في كل زمان يحدث هذا , ثمة أناس يحسون ويهتمون ويتفاعلون
وثمة أناس لا يعلمون, او ربما لا يريدون ان يعلموا....

ولكني اعتقد ان التقدم بالعمر, والتجارب القاسية الصعبة , قد تغير بعض الناس , وقد يبقي البعض الاخر كما هو عليه
أما عني, فقد تغيرت كثيرا,
أحمد الله ان هذه الحرب رغم سيئاتها , لكنها علمتني الكثير وغيرتني,
جعلتني اكثر حبا للفقراء والمحتاجين والمظلومين, واكثر احساسا بمعاناتهم..
واكثر رغبة بمساعدتهم..
وجعلتني اشفق على الذين لم يتغيروا بعد ,
ظلوا يدورون في دائرة حياتهم الضيقة الانانية الصغيرة, لا يفكرون سوى بانفسهم وطلباتها وشهواتها...
أشفق عليهم, وأسأل الله ان يفتح عيونهم وقلوبهم ليروا ما حولهم ...
لكنني في حياتي اليومية , احاول ان ابتعد عنهم ,
حتى لا ينغصوا علي يومي بعقولهم الصغيرة ومزاجهم الأناني المتقلب ....

أسأل الله أن يكون العام القادم , أفضل من الذي مضى
أسأل الله ان يكون العام القادم , عام سلام وهدوء واستقرار للشعب العراقي,
ولكل شعب يعاني مثله من ويلات حرب غبية أشعلها الحمقى, ويحتار العقلاء كيف يطفوها....
كل عام وانتم بخير...
والسلام عليكم ...

Monday, December 11th, 2006
Peace be upon you…

The news from Baghdad is depressing and deteriorated more and more… hope is diminishing in people everyday…
When you meet an Iraqi who is living inside, he is usually sad, broken, has lost hope, and keeps repeating a sentence: Iraq is lost, and will not come back…

And of course I cannot argue with people and cross them, telling them they are fools, and mistaken. I cannot play that silly role with them, for whoever lives inside sees the dark picture, and he is right.
But those who live outside; I mean- outside the borders of the Iraqi hell, who work with organizations or Parties, perhaps see the picture better, because that who works retains the hope to make a change more than that who doesn't join or isn't informed about events and their annoying daily details…
Other Iraqis are emigrating, fleeing the daily hell. Each one started thinking how to secure his future and that of his family.
Why do we blame them?
I read a report about members of the present Iraqi government and the one before it, and parliamentary members; most own houses outside Iraq, in neighboring countries or in Europe, in which to secure their families from the fires of strife, so why should I blame the ordinary people if the leadership has fled from the lands of the country, which has turned into a stage for violence and daily bloodshed?
And these people themselves, when they came along with the occupation, preached about a new, free, happy, democratic Iraq, then changed their minds, and arranged a residency for their families outside of the new, free, happy, democratic Iraq. Then they came back to live in the Green Zone, to attend the meetings of the Minister's council or the Parliament, to debate about issues as far as possible from the daily sufferings of the people, or to quarrel and fight among themselves under the dome of the Parliament.
Alas; I regret, as a lot of other Iraqis regret, like me, having participated in the elections process, thinking we were making a better future for our country, that we were giving the chance to new, nationalistic leaderships to lead the country's fate.
But after one year passed since the last elections, here we are asking ourselves; what have we reaped from this government?
We saw nothing but destruction and ruin, political stupidness and narrow, selfish viewpoints, while at the time of the elections the slogans were like honey…
We shall solve the country's problems…
We shall have a national unity government…
We shall…
We shall…
And then what?
We saw nothing but dust.
So, how to get out of the dilemma?
Is there a way to kick those foolish losers out of the office?
Of course not.
President Bush is happy with them, patting them on the backs, and showing them off
And they slaughtered us with the tune: this is a legally elected government.
And the poor Iraqi people are biting their fingers in regret.
Which finger?
The same finger we stained with violet stamp color and elected them with.
By God, it was a black hour........
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I read the first seventy pages of the Hamilton-Baker report. I found it was talking about the security conditions, the political process, the state systems, the new army and police force, the reconstruction, the new Parties, and so on of the issues concerning the details of matters in Iraq.
For me: the report is excellent, bearing a lot of reality. It described the corruptness of the state systems, the weakness of the police and army because of the sectarian infiltration (perhaps because the Bader militias dissolved, and entered the police and the army force, God be blessed), the catastrophe of the other militias who are spread around, killing people according to identity cards, or dislodging them from their houses. I do not understand the meaning of this play?
And there is the Prime Minister Al-Maliki's stalling to fulfill his promises about the national reconciliation project, and his overlooking the transgressions of the sectarian militias, because they are a part of his Party's coalition in the government, so he takes into account the political interests of his Party more than the interests of the miserable Iraqi people, who are seeking peace, security, and calm for more than three years now.
The report speaks about the reconstruction of Iraq which wasn't achieved, about the administrative corruption that has spread in a catastrophic way, as billions of dollars of public funds were plundered without punishment.
It spoke about the displaced Iraqis inside the country and outside, because of the sectarian violence or the deteriorating security conditions. It spoke about civilian victims who are falling daily because of the uncontrolled violence.
The report spoke about the new leaderships, and how each of them is seeking specific benefits for himself or his sect (of course, not one of the sects has benefited; all our interests were ruined, and our country is torn apart).
It spoke about the new constitution and its complexities, about federalism and its complexities. It spoke about the neighbors; Syria, Iran, and the Gulf states, about Egypt and Jordan, each and its role. Some roles are negative and sleepy, like the Gulf States, while some embraced the Iraqi refugees and beard that burden (thanks to them), like Jordan, Egypt, and Syria. Some wanted to take revenge against the American project in Iraq and cause it to fail, of course that would be Iran. And in my opinion Iran took revenge against the Iraqi people, and not from Bush's government.

What the report didn't say was: that the international community and the international organizations had a very negative and frustrating role, as they didn't give the Iraqis any role inside or outside of Iraq; they evaded the responsibility completely, leaving the Iraqis like orphans in the wind.
The report also put the responsibility of all the errors on the stupid Iraqi government, of course that was right, but that made the occupation forces free from any responsibility. It always gave them the role of the nice cutes, seeking the deliverance of the Iraqi people, but no one is helping them.
Oh, yah?
Well, the simplest proof would be the testimony I put on my blog, from one of the people who were arrested in the Iraqi Ministry of Interior, in Al-Jaderria cellar, look how was the role of the occupation forces? They watched the human rights violations silently, then withdrew from the direct interrogations with the poor detainees, but were in agreement with what was going on in front of them.
Let an Iraqi kill an Iraqi… this is their program, as it seems, and what was achieved by the criminal militias also pours down into the interest of that motto, too…
Let an Iraqi kill an Iraqi…

Who blames the Iraqis if they hated the occupation and whoever collaborated with it?
Innocent people taken from their houses to be insulted, detained, and tortured, to have their nails ripped off, and to be hanged from the ceiling, the human's dignity in them is insulted, then, to be released after months or years, as there is no charge against them, their innocence is proved, simply, just like that?
Are these the interrogation methods in the happy, free, democratic Iraq?
They made us sick with as much they talked about human rights. May the liar be damned, where are those human rights?

The report didn't talk about the raids and shelling of people's houses in Iraqi towns and villages, just for suspicion, perhaps there is an Iraqi citizen whose personality is mean and lowly, who is seduced by money to present a false report against his neighbor, accusing him of being a member of the resistance, or of being a terrorist, would that be enough to bombard the whole house?
It didn't mention the thousands of innocent men locked up in American prisons; the Airport prison, Poka, and others. Nor did it mention the tens (or hundreds, no one really knows), of women who are taken as hostages when they cannot find their men who would be accused of struggling against the occupation, these women are in prisons and detention centers… there are also children there, who could be taken as hostages to pressure their fathers…
Iraq has not only become the land of violence and bloodshed, but injustice in it became limitless, greater than the injustice that was committed by Saddam Hussein in his time, and enough to mention is the subject of threatening families and getting them out of their homes in this cold weather, for sectarian reasons, to end up living on the streets, without any committed fault.
That alone is unspeakable injustice…
Today, they called me from Baghdad, and asked me; is it possible for some displaced families to come, break the locks of your front door, and live in your house?
I was sad, but I couldn't blame a displaced family to break our front door and live in our house.
Poor people, like me; they fled from hell to a temporary refuge, like I fled with my family from the hell in Iraq to a temporary refuge in Amman.
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And here, in expatriation and dispersal, I have seen so many organizations, or heard about them, I spared no efforts to obtain some medical help for an Iraqi who was injured by shrapnels or burns, or to get some financial or material donations.
But to no avail…
All I found was lies and stalling…
The names were for glamorous organizations, which perhaps got thousands of dollars in donations, under the pretext of helping the Iraqi refugees, but in truth, their contributions were limited, and stipulated by heavy conditions that would make the poor people flee away.
There are so many rich and millionaire Iraqis here, who turn their backs upon the Iraqi poor, as if they do not know them, as if they do not belong to the same torn, wounded country. They meet each other in fancy restaurants for lunch and dinner, drive the most luxurious cars, but have no mercy in their hearts for their brothers.
I have seen many Iraqis who immigrated to the far regions of earth, to forget something called: Iraq, or to run away from it…
For they have lost hope…
I do not blame them…
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As for me, I am tired of expatriation
My heart is tired, heavy with the wounds of Iraq
I want to get back to my country
Whether I live or die, I do not care
But I do care to be there
I have nothing more precious than Iraq
And remaining there under the stress of the daily terror is, in its own way, belonging to Iraq, and a resolve to belong
I am weary of living in another country
I am weary of blending with people who are other than my people, the Iraqis.
People either console and pity me, or blame me because I am an Iraqi who destroyed my country when I opened up its gates to the occupier.
And I ask them: who opened the gates to the occupier?
We, who remained in our houses and closed our doors within? Or an Iraqi opposition who came with the occupier and destroyed the country with him, stupidly or intentionally, it doesn't matter, for the result is the same.

A lot of the people outside Iraq are fools; they do not understand what is happening, or what happened.
The media is misleading and deceiving them, and I am tired of debating with fools.
What is the point of wasting life with fools?

I want to get back to Iraq…
Life has another meaning there, despite the daily terror, but our hearts are united, we live through the same grief and the same injustice, much worst than the burden of living under the Saddam Regime… and in more injustice than what we saw in the days of Saddam…
But the parable says: "the continuity of circumstances is an impossibility", meaning; it is impossible for things to remain like this for long.
The night must pass sometime…
And we await the coming of dawn, to see the sunrise,
Hoping it would be soon…
This sunrise we waited for too long…
Hoping it would be soon…
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Peace be upon you…
Today is Tuesday…
I would like to add a comment…

I was watching one of the Iraqi TV stations, there was a press conference held by the Iraqi Prime Minister, and the Bulgarian Prime Minister. One of the Iraqi journalists asked Al-Maliki: What do you think of the foreign and Afghani fighters who are dislodging the Iraqis from their homes on the outskirts of Baghdad?
Well, that's a funny story, of which we didn't hear before. It was evident that the question was pre-arranged before the press conference.
And the Iraqi Prime Minister answered that the government is suffering from this international war against terrorism, which is a third world war, and that foreigners are committing these ugly actions in Iraq, we are sorry for the Iraqi victims, we will fight the terrorists, and will not allow them to…lab…lab…lab…

Oh, my god!
This man is creating imaginary victories for himself, giving an eloquent speech, acting the role of the strong leader, comprehending everything, capable of solving the difficult problems, and a lot of words, and big, resounding expressions.
Is he fooling himself, or the world, or what?
I do not know; should I feel sad about him, or laugh at him?
Where did the Afghani fighters come from to Iraq today?
Yesterday, I saw with my own eyes the demonstrations of the dislodged families in Baghdad, from Al-Hurreyah area, on Iraqi TV stations. They carried banners saying that Al-Mahdi Army threatened them and removed them from their houses. They demanded the intervention of the government.
And we all know that Al-Mahdi Army belongs to Muqtada Al-Sader, who is in the government, so, where did the story of the foreign Afghanis come from this morning, in front of the Bulgarian guest?
Is our government deceiving its guests, making up false stories for them, to evade its responsibility for what chaos is taking place?
Well then, what about the Iraqi people?
Doesn't the government feel ashamed from them?
Why do they lie in front of us?
Isn't that ridiculing us, and our mentalities?
Isn't this a loss of the government's credibility in facing the Iraqis?
Who is the loser?
Of course, in the long run, the government is the loser.
But the Iraqis have nothing but to be patient…
There is no power and no strength, but with the Might of God…

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